Light Girls

lightgirlsGood Afternoon! I watched the “Light Girls” documentary on OWN last night and wanted to express all the things that were running through my mind while watching. I didn’t comment on the “Dark Girls” documentary because I didn’t feel like I could completely relate to what the women on the documentary were saying but after watching the “Light Girls” documentary, I realized that I can’t completely relate to the “light-skinned” women and their experiences either. My mom is a beautiful brown-skinned woman who I’ve been told that I favor on countless occasions but my father was very light-skinned. People used to tell him that he favored Smokey Robinson pretty hazel eyes and all!  When I was younger, classmates would ask if he was white because of his light complexion. Most of the relatives on my father’s side of the family were just as light and some could pass for white. I remember one experience when I was with my grandfather at the supermarket and I ran into a coworker of mine who waved when we walked by. When I saw my coworker at work the next day, he asked me who was that “white man” I was with the day before and when I told him that was my grandfather, he didn’t believe me. As a result of growing around people who were considered “light-skinned” in my eyes, I never saw myself as light because many of my family  members had a much  lighter complexion than me. It wasn’t until my young adult life that I was placed in the light-skinned/redbone/yellow complexion category. When I would wear long weaves, people would ask me if I was mixed and the guy that I am currently seeing jokingly calls me “light brite” and “yellow cake” because he swears that I am of a lighter complexion than he is.

Being “light” was never something that I felt I should be proud of. My mom as I stated before is brown-skinned and my maternal grandmother had the most beautiful chocolate complexion that I’ve ever seen. Beauty, in my eyes was how you carried yourself and skin color had nothing to do with it. It bothers me that we are still having this conversation in 2015.  I feel like we can’t even begin to properly deal with racial discrimination until we address the colorism within our own community. Instead of putting people on pedestals or insulting them if they are light or dark, we need to talk about why we are focusing on skin color in the first place. It all stems from racism as far back as slavery and although it has been 150 years since slavery ended, the pain from the emotional wounds still linger. I know it is easier said than done but we must address the real issues that are more than skin deep.

I think we can all start by learning how to truly love ourselves. It is hard to not let appearance be a reason but we need to focus on being the best version of ourselves by changing what is on the inside. Once we learn to love and embrace our differences and accept others’ differences and be happy with what God has blessed us with, we can grow as individuals and as human beings. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. famously said “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” Even though Dr. King was speaking about the judgment outside of the black community, we need to work on the judgment within the black community so we can begin the healing process.

 

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

 

 

 

Toxic People

toxic_people_learn_to_love_yourself_Adlandpro_QuoteGood Afternoon! I wanted to discuss an issue that I have dealt with in my personal life for quite sometime. I mentioned this briefly in an earlier post of mine but I didn’t realize how serious this issue was until I started thinking about the changes I wanted to make in my life this year and what I would need to do to make sure that they were achieved. One of my major goals is to think and act in a positive way to attract positive energy into my life. I know that one way to attract positive energy into my space is to do things that make me happy and give me fulfillment and joy “Amore Luxe” and everything the site stands for fulfills me. Being able to share my message with others is also fulfilling and most importantly, being around family and friends who believe in me and urge me to be the best version of myself helps me to build myself up and stay strong no matter what obstacles come in my direction.

Unfortunately, not everyone in life will care about the things that you are doing or even want to see you do well. They will not usually say these things to you directly but instead will shut down every great idea that pops in your head and block any great opportunity that comes in your way. The telltale signs of  “toxic” people are usually easy to spot Many times, these people are pessimists who don’t have anything positive going on in their lives. They have learned to see the glass as half empty and instead of changing their perspective on life, they decided to contaminate the minds and souls of the people who have positive energy radiating around them and have attracted love, success and anything else that they have desired and earned. Instead of trying to focus on what it is about this person that has brought them all of this good fortune and try to have some of these positive attributes for themselves, they find it easier to bring the positive person down to their level. They will do this by way of indirect insults, backhanded compliments and gossip. Gossip is like a virus that spreads and all of us are guilty and spreading gossip at one point or another. Gossip is usually malicious and is intended to insult and belittle the subject that is being spoken about. Toxic people have a sharp tongue and gossip is their weapon of choice to hurt others so they are no longer seen in a positive light.  Toxic people will also try to corrupt the people with positive energy by gossiping about others and sucking them into the negativity. It is difficult to stop bad habits such as gossiping but bringing others down does not lift you up in any way shape or form.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. emphasized this point perfectly when he said “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” You have to be the better person and rise above the negativity by spreading positivity not only in your words but your actions. One of those actions that you will need to take is to dispose of the toxic people in your life. This is not wishing any ill will or harm to them but you cannot have them in your personal space and expect to grow and evolve. They are not ready to continue on this path that you are creating and do not deserve your time or energy. In order for you to be the best version of yourself, you have to let go of anyone or anything that is holding you back. These people may be a part of your family, one of your friends (which is the case for me) or anyone in your space that your deal with that tend to suck the light out of your soul. You won’t be able to shine with their dark spirit in your space so release them so their negative energy can float elsewhere.

I am a work in progress and am dealing with a toxic person in my life that I want to help but I know that I need to let go because dealing with them is draining.  I may have some of the answers but applying them to my life will be necessary for me to get to the next level. I hope you are able to do the same:)

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!

Less Than Perfect

Pretty, pretty please don’t you ever, ever feel
Like you’re less than less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please if you ever, ever feel
Like you’re nothing, you are perfect to me

Pink-Less Than Perfect

Good Afternoon! I announced the launch of the “Confidence Campaign 2015″ yesterday and I am so excited! There are so many issues I want to talk and have open discussions about. Confidence has an effect on every aspect of life and although we are always told that it is what’s on the inside that counts which is absolutely true but so many of us care about our appearance. We focus on what others think of us especially w hen it comes to the opposite sex and do things to appeal to them. Some may think that these thoughts start at adolescence because of peer pressure but I have seen for myself that it starts at an early age.

I am a tutor at an afterschool program and I work with kids ages 5-11 and there is this one girl who was one of the inspirations for this post. She is a cute, thin brown-skinned girl who runs  her mouth at all the wrong times and is constantly in trouble because of it. Her mother came in to the daycare one day visibly upset because her daughter got in trouble at school earlier  in the day Even though her talkative nature was worrisome, what bothered me even more was that her mom said she hardly eats anything when she’s at school or home. My mother is a Certified Teacher in Health Education and between the conversations we’ve had and the countless movies I’ve watched throughout my childhood and young adult life, I started to become worried that this little girl was showing signs of Anorexia. I pulled her aside and had a conversation with her and asked her why she didn’t want to eat and she told me that she didn’t want to get fat. I couldn’t understand why this little girl who takes ballet and has not an ounce of fat on her was so worried about being fat. It broke my heart and made me realize that working on having good self-esteem at a young age.

Children are very influenced by what they see and hear and absorb everything so we have to make sure that we put positive self-image messages out there to counteract the millions of negative messages that the media releases daily. Instead of showing size 2 models in all the advertisements let’s have size 14 models which reflects the size of the average woman in the United States. Instead of focusing so much on fad diets to lose weight quickly let’s focus on eating healthy and incorporating exercise into our daily lives to be better people, not to appease the world but for our own mental, physical and spiritual well-being.

I hope that this “Confidence Campaign’ is a gateway into further conversations about changing the way we view each other and ourselves. Let’s continue the conversation on Twitter. Facebook and Instagram by using the hashtag #confidencecampaign. This is definitely the beginning of something big! Much love to you all:)

 

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!

Confidence Campaign 2015

Self-confidence-tumblr-quoteGood Afternoon everyone! I mentioned at the end of my last post that I had something special that I was working on and now I am ready to share it with the world….drumroll please! This is the year that I want to promote confidence in a different way where I focus on issues related to confidence in various ways whether it’s on social media (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, etc.) in face to face interactions (group discussions, speaking engagements,etc.) and of course posting about it on “Amore Luxe” I figured that since confidence is my main focus, I would consider it my platform of sorts and what better way to focus on confidence than to have a campaign revolved around it?

I attempted to launch a similar campaign back in 2013 but I wasn’t ready to give all of my time and effort to the campaign so I waited until I could go hard and give 110% to this campaign and that time is now! There are so many aspects  of the “Confidence Campaign” that  I want to introduce throughout the coming weeks and months but for this first introduction week, I just want you to answer this question : What is confidence to you? There is no right or wrong answer of course because everyone views confidence in different ways. Seeing someone being true to their ideals and beliefs even when the world is against them may be your definition of confidence. Being able to rock the craziest but most unique of outfits may scream out confidence to you. Whatever it is,I want you to share it whether it’s in the comments sections on here, or on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram (Make sure you tag your videos and posts with #confidencecampaign) I have so many quotes and pics that I plan on sharing that are the epitome of confidence to me so be on the lookout for those!

My goal is to promote this idea that Confidence is the foundation on which greatness is built upon. If a person is not confident in themselves, other areas of their life will suffer.  I want people to focus on loving themselves and ultimately being happy with who they are and what they want out of life. Change on the outside is good but it has to stem from a positive place and I want this campaign to be the starting point for people who want to change the way they view themselves and ultimately, life.

I can’t wait to see you guys on the  campaign trail and make sure you tell your family and friends all about “Confidence Campaign 2015″ :)

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!