Playing Catch Up 

catchupGood morning! I was on my way to work yesterday when I started thinking about how I felt like all my life, I felt like I was playing catch up. I didn’t date until college, I didn’t graduate from college until I was 27 and I am not where I want to be in my personal or professional life. I have been blessed with many opportunities but I don’t always take advantage of them and I asked myself “Why does it seem that I haven’t fully gotten the grasp of this “life” thing?” The answer that I received surprised me. I don’t think that anyone has fully gotten the grasp of life because for as many successes that I’ve witnessed from others, there have been just as many failures if not more.

I had a talk with a friend yesterday and she gave me something to think about. She asked me”If everyone posted every moment of their lives on social media, do you think that their lives would look as picture perfect as it seems?” The answer is a resounding “NO”. People post the positive things that are going on not always to seem to be doing better than they are but instead, they want to attract the positive energy that they receive when putting positive vibes in the atmosphere. That is what I try to do but I know that I still have to acknowledge and handle the negative obstacles that come in my way. If everything in life was perfect, there would be nothing to strive for. There cannot be passion and pleasure without pain. I truly do believe that they go hand in hand. I won’t lie and tell you that I want to go through the bad to get to the good but I know it is what has to be done.

Everyone has their own journey that they have to travel to get to where they need to be and maybe my missteps along the way may have felt like they were holding me back from my goals but I’m slowly realizing that everything happens the way it’s supposed to and even if I’m playing catch up, I’ll get to where I need to be soon enough!

Breaking Bad Habits

Good Morning folks! For the last month or so, I’ve had a pretty bad case of writer’s block. I couldn’t think of anything to write about that didn’t sound repetitive or depressing and I told myself that I wouldn’t post anything that I consider mediocre or second-rate. I want all of my blog posts to show insight into what is going on in my life and hopefully be helpful and relatable to others. After the conversation I had with a friend yesterday where we discussed our fears and dreams, I realized that our biggest obstacles are not those that come from outside influences but instead the mental roadblocks we create in our mind. If you say you can or can’t do something, either way, you are correct.

You are the only one that is in control of your thoughts, feelings and actions and although we cannot predict the future and may not be able to manipulate all things to our favor, we have the power to control how we respond to these actions and behaviors. For every action there is usually a reaction and how we react can decide the course of our future. Unfortunately,  previous negative experiences can create bad mental habits that can be difficult to break. Experts have said that it takes about 66 days to break bad habits and create new ones. Whether it’s a nervous habit such as biting your nails or something more addictive like smoking, these habits start in the mind. You have to first address the mental issues going on inside your brain before the physical changes can occur. I am conscious of what my bad habits are (procrastination, not following through on plans) and I’ve realized that fear is the controlling factor that brought about these bad habits.

Fear of failure and rejection are why I keep making excuses and put off things that I feel will take me to the next level. Fear is a self-defense mechanism to protect us from danger that we sense whether we are conscious of it or not. This is normal but when we let the fears that we create run our lives instead of conquering them, they lead to bad mental habits which can lead to bad physical ones. Along with fear, there is jealousy, denial, pride and countless others that can bring the worst out of people. Excessive drinking that can lead to depression and isolation may be because of not coming to terms with a tragic situation in someone’s past. Road rage may stem from being taught that the only way to deal with frustration and anger is confrontation. Whatever the habit, there is always an underlying cause of it and acknowledging what that cause is and managing it is essential for success. Focus on your journey and understand that change is inevitable but how you handle the changes is a testament to who you really are.

I wish everyone the best of luck in breaking bad habits and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

Daydreaming

daydream2

Good Morning! As I was at my first job yesterday folding clothes, my  mind started to wander off into la la land…I didn’t space out completely like I do in the privacy of my home but I started thinking about my current situation and how I really wished that I could be anywhere else. Having big dreams isn’t a rarity. We all dream of living the life that we feel is perfect for us but many times, we don’t follow through on those dreams. I have said time and time again that I want to be the internet version of Oprah. I want to inspire and motivate women like she has done and I want to do it through online platforms such as YouTube, Facebook and most importantly “Amore Luxe”. These dreams are as vivid and real to me as the computer screen that I am currently viewing but unfortunately, I am not completely sure what I need to do  achieve my goals. I know that greatness takes time but everyday that I am at my job daydreaming about what I want instead of actually living the life that I’ve always dreamed of, I feel like time is passing by and each moment is wasted doing something that isn’t fulfilling me or pushing me closer to where I need to be.

LL Cool J said something very profound at the Grammys last night. He said “Dreams don’t have deadlines. Believe in yourself” and even though I know that to be true, I don’t want to waste any more moments solely dreaming (or daydreaming) about what I want and not actually taking the necessary steps to make my dreams come true. I told myself that no matter how busy I was, each day, I would do something that will help me get closer to making my dreams come true. Today, I have created this post which I hope will inspire me for days to come. Even something as simple as posting quotes or making that vision board that is constantly on my mind are the little things that will help me reach the bigger milestones in my life. I can’t make other people do what I want them to do or feel a certain way by coercion, manipulation or just giving all of my myself in hopes that I will receive the same. I can only be true to myself, follow my heart and hope that others can relate and be encouraged by the way that I live my life. When it’s all said and done, I want to feel content in knowing that I went hard in chasing my dreams and “daydreaming” was not the beginning  end of the journey but the catalyst that set everything into motion. Sweet daydreams to all of you:)

 

Love and live luxuriously!

Speak Your Mind

drseussquoteGood Morning! After a week of writer’s block, I promised myself that I would post something even if it was a quote because I know that there is someone out there that may help from my posts as random as they can be sometimes! I believe that we are all works in progress and I know that as much as I’ve grown in the past few years, I still have a long way to go. I was looking for quotes online and stumbled across one by one of my favorite authors: Dr. Seuss (lol) that spoke about being true to who you are. Even though many people would consider me to be an outspoken and outgoing person, one of my biggest issues is that even though I know that I should focus on how I feel about myself and the decisions I make, the little girl inside of me still seeks approval and acceptance from her peers. It stems from my childhood and adolescence because I didn’t think that anyone cared about how I felt or what I wanted so I stayed silent on the sidelines. It took me years to really put myself out there and at times, I still have issues when it comes to speaking my mind. I have strong opinions about things but sometimes I hold my tongue because I don’t to sound ignorant or misinformed. Other times, I stay silent because I don’t want to feel like I’m the only one that doesn’t “get it” and I didn’t want to start arguing and end up looking foolish in the end. In instances like these, I don’t want to stand out so being silent seems like the only way to be accepted.

I started to notice that I was reverting back to the old me when I was at my retail job the other day. The managers and a few of the associates are very opinionated and self-assured and I started feeling like I used to when I would stay silent on things that bothered me because I wanted to avoid confrontation . Truth be told, I really don’t care for most of the people I work with and feel like I’m settling when I clock in so I’m polite and mainly focus on doing my job until it’s time for me to go. The thing is, I love talking to people about what’s going on in their lives and sharing stories so we can connect and hopefully heal but I can’t be my true self while interacting with associates and customers because the focus is not about connecting but making the sale. Although I went to school for marketing and understand the nature of business, I feel like this place is sucking the positive energy out of me because it isn’t my passion or my purpose. I know it is a temporary thing and I need to make the best of it but I can’t allow this job to bring me to a mental space where I am not being true to who I am or what I feel. Now I know better than to become loud and angry if someone says or does something that doesn’t sit right with me but I also know that I am not going to put up with disrespect solely because of my position as a sales associate. I am trying to find that balance so I can speak my mind and it doesn’t come off as abrasive or defensive but at the same time, I am respected and seen for who I really am.

One of the things I wanted to do this year was focusing on being a better person starting from within. As I stated in an earlier post, I wanted to start eating healthier even before I attempted to work out because I have been told that the key to staying fit is 70% diet and 30% exercise so I’m gonna work on that 70% now. Working on being a better person also means that I have to be in a positive space mentally and spiritually. I spoke about getting rid of toxic people in a recent post (http://amoreluxe.com/2015/01/16/toxic-people/) but even with positive people surrounding me, I have to find that light from within to truly shine. My friend Kimmy and I are always talking about making our dreams a reality.She is involved in social media marketing and has notable clients under her belt but she wants to go out and try new things in the city of dreams and is actually making it happen! She told me that I should read the book “The Secret” because it talks about the law of attraction to gain the things that you really want in life. I plan on starting it tonight so hopefully by next week, I can give my review on it. Also, I am planning on creating a vision board because she made one and so did my friend, beauty blogger extraordinaire Kiwi of www.kiwithebeauty.com  (love, love, love her site!) These ladies inspire me and have such positive energy surrounding them so if they are opening up their minds and exploring new possibilities by doing these things, I am damn sure going to do it too because this will help me become the woman I want to be!

There is a quote that says “The only true failure is the failure of not trying”so I am going to make sure I continue to give it my all. I am still working on a few things related to the “Confidence Campaign” so make sure you stay tuned for what I have in store because it is definitely worth the wait:) I hope all of you have an amazing day and remember to always love and live luxuriously!