Don’t Be Afraid To Speak Your Mind

Good Morning! As I have stated previously, I want this site to be a safe space where we all can share our thoughts and feelings without judgment. I never want anyone to feel like they can’t be their authentic self because I know what it feels like to hold back and not feel as if I was being true to who I was and what I believed in. Having confidence wasn’t enough to lead a life with conviction and purpose. In order to be successful and live my life on my terms, I had to speak my mind and follow through with my actions.

One situation that comes to mind when I regretted not speaking up for myself happened when I was 20. I was very shy and passive and while I was on a trip to LA with a group of girls, we went to an expensive restaurant which had a huge bill that we all had to split. I put the amount that I was supposed to put in but was accused of not paying the right amount but instead of speaking up for myself, I caved in and added an additional amount to my bill. I was mad at myself after because I let peer pressure and the fear of confrontation silence my voice which a person should never do. I was young and naive in many ways but that incident taught me a lesson. If I don’t speak up for what I feel is right, I will be the one who suffers. That was a turning point for me and even though it took time for me to feel comfortable to speak my mind, I never put myself  in a situation where I allowed others to speak for me ever again.

I still try to avoid confrontation but if there is an issue that is weighing heavily on my mind/heart, I don’t hesitate to speak up regardless of what the consequences will be. There is a quote that goes “It’s not what they call you, it’s what you answer to” and any inaction or deterrence on your part speaks volumes about your character. Now I am not saying to start arguments or be difficult or disagreeable just because but if you really feel strongly about something and want to make it right, do not hesitate to voice your opinion on what you feel is right. This is something I have to remind myself of periodically when I feel wronged and I always try my best to be rational and logical about a situation and not base my actions solely off of emotion. Gotta find that balance!

Has there been a point in your life where you were afraid to speak up for what you wanted or believed in? If so, what did you do to change things around? Let me know in the comments! I’ll be back on Monday but until then, have a great weekend and be sure to love and live luxuriously!

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Lessons I Wish I Knew Before I Entered My 30’s

Good Morning! 2019 has been a year of self-reflection and making moves based on what makes me happy instead of what I feel is expected of me. I realized that in my 30’s, there is no more room for playing around. I have to get on my grind with no more excuses or apologies. Even though I have no regrets on any past decisions I’ve made, there are things I wish I knew before I entered my 30’s. Read on to see what my Top 3 life lessons are!

Your Journey Is Yours And No One Else’s
Ever since I could remember, I wanted to be part of the entertainment industry. I always assumed I was going to be behind the scenes doing A&R because I was shyer in my younger years and just wanted to work on artist development and help the artist reach his/her full potential. Around 2009, I started blogging on the Blogger platform and sharing my personal experiences as well as my poetry and someone suggested that I turn my blog into a website that goes into further detail about love, sex and relationships. I liked the idea and launched my website (then known as The Angielala Experience) in 2010. It was through the site that I realized that I enjoyed being in front of the camera especially when I was part of discussion panels and hosting events at my college. I  found my true calling and decided that I was going to become the Internet Oprah. I felt that I was on my way when I landed interviews with celebs such as Trey Songz, Chilli and Naturi Naughton as well as working for brands like Kodak while in college but by the time I hit 30, it felt like my career was at a standstill. I wasn’t fulfilled in my personal life or my professional life and it seemed like everyone had it together but me. By the time 2017 came around, I was at my lowest point.  I lost my father 3 years prior and my grandmother in October 2017 so that along with the fact that I felt stuck at my job made me feel like there was nothing to look forward to. After much thought along with the encouragement from my friends, I decided to go to therapy which was one of the best decisions I’ve made. Therapy made me realize that I don’t have to have it together right away and that as long as I was making the steps necessary to bring about change. Most importantly, I’ve learned that comparison is the thief of joy and that by focusing on what others are doing, I lose sight of my overall goals and treat the journey as a race when its a marathon. I am not where I want to be but I am much further than where I was when I was at my lowest point and that’s because I have tunnel vision and am only in competition with myself.

The One You Are Meant To Be With Will Come Along When The Time Is Right

I was never the type of woman who liked to date. When I like someone, I tend to get attached and want to settle down and be in a relationship. I am picky so if I fall for someone, its because I see something in them that makes them stand out. Unfortunately, the bad has outweighed the good especially in my last situationship and instead of letting go and moving on, I stuck around and tried to make things work because I didn’t want to be alone. As I stated previously, I don’t have any regrets but staying in that situation held me back from being the best version of myself. How can I promote confidence when I am in a situation that has me doubting myself and what I deserve? When you know better you do better so instead of trying to convince him or change his mind about us, I finally let him go and decided to use that energy to get my life together. It feels so refreshing to not worry about someone who in all honestly didn’t put that much energy and time into worrying about me. I know now that I can only focus on what I can control and that’s the decisions I make and how I see myself and once I realized that, things started to fall into place. I know that the right man will come along when I am ready to see him and receive him but until then, my physical, mental and emotional well-being are my priority and though I am single, I am not lonely because I am using this time to fall in love with myself!

 

You Have To To Make Self-Care A Priority

When I was in my 20’s I was thin and could eat just about anything without worrying about gaining weight but as soon as 30 hit, I noticed the pounds coming on and by the time I was 32 in 2018 , I had gained a good 15-20 pounds and while I love the extra weight in my boobs and thighs, the stomach pudge has got to go! I haven’t been as consistent with diet and exercise as I should have but I will get it together! Most importantly, I had to take time out to pamper myself like giving myself a mani/pedi and meditating to ease any anxiety and stress. Going to the spa helps as well and I’ve been a few times in the past few years and plan on making more trips. I also want to do yoga but I’m not trying to spend money so I’m considering doing it from home for now. Although these activities are nothing major, they make me feel better about myself and when I feel good about myself, I can conquer the world!

 

What are some life lessons you wished you knew before entering your 30’s? Let me know in the comments section below. New post coming on Friday so stay tuned for that! Until then, always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

Confidence Is Series Episode 1: Andrea Leilani

Good Morning! When I was thinking about what I wanted “Amore Luxe” to become after changing the name and rebranding back in 2014, I thought about all of the things that I struggled with growing up and how those issues affected me into adulthood. Self-confidence is something that I always had an issue with especially when if felt like everyone else had it all together. Social media only added to my insecurities especially when so many of us only show the good side of our lives and leaving the pain, frustration and doubt out. I wanted to create a “safe space” where women could talk freely about what was going on in their lives without judgment and I would be transparent about my journey and process to becoming the best version of myself. It took some time to figure out exactly how I wanted to implement all of the ideas in my head (5 long years to be exact) but I finally got it together! One of the ideas was what I call “Confidence Is…” Series where I interview women who have overcome various adversities both seen and unseen to become the strong, powerful ladies we see today. These women would share their stories and what they had to go through in order to get to a place where they were happy with who they are regardless of the opinions of others. I had 3 women in mind that I wanted to start this series off with and I am so happy that I was able to get one of them for the first episode which was released on YouTube in June. Andrea Leilani is an amazing woman who struggled with her identity and confidence but once she decided to be true to herself and who she was, she was able to find happiness and radiate positivity and light to others.

You can view my interview with Andrea Leilani by clicking below and be sure to like/comment/share. Working on getting the 2nd episode together as we speak so be on the lookout for that. If someone you know would has an interesting/unique story on how they were able to become the best version of themselves, email me at angelacherai@gmail.com so I can share their story! Hope everyone has an amazing week and until next time, always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

Spotlight on Black Businesses: Day 3

Good Morning! Today is the third and final day of my Spotlight Series on Black Businesses. I am so happy at the feedback that I have received for the previous 2 days and I know my friends/fellow entrepreneurs appreciate the support. I am going to highlight 2 businesses/endeavors that I am a part of as well as one that has been instrumental in helping me build my brand. Read on to find out more!

Sionne (@designedonthebayou) 

Sionne aka Siki and I became connected through a mutual friend (she knows exactly who I’m referring to lol) and I love her passion, energy and spirit. Her graphic design skills are impeccable (as seen in the Weekend Friendz logo on my t-shirt below!) and her creativity knows no bounds. Her company, Designed On The Bayou provides customers with high quality logos, business cards, invitations, flyers, Snapchat Geo Filters and so much more. She has helped me immensely as it relates to building my brand and she can help you as well so make sure you hit her up on IG @designedonthebayou for more information. Siki, I am so in awe of your talent and I know that this is just the beginning for you. Thank you for always coming through for me and believing in my vision for my brand. Hope we get to finally meet soon :)Love ya!

DJ & Angela Cherai (@weekendfriendz) 

Weekend Friendz is the brainchild of my homie DJ who I have known since we were 8! DJ was inspired by our random conversations about entertainment, politics, relationships and life in general and wanted to create a podcast that other people our age could relate to. Even though we are partners, I have to give credit where credit is due and this podcast would be nonexistent without him because I needed that extra push from him to take that leap into the podcast world. You can listen to us every Friday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Play and just about anywhere you listen to podcasts. DJ, I am so happy that we decided to do this podcast after years of talking about it with no action lol…Weekend Friendz has given me the motivation and passion that I thought was lost forever so thanks for not giving up on your vision because it has created a new beginning for me. Can’t wait to see where Weekend Friendz takes us. Love ya!

Angela Cherai (@amoreluxe_)

Last but not least, its self-promotion at its finest time! Amore Luxe was a passion of mine that I left on the back burner because of personal issues that I was dealing with. I thought I had to have all the answers but after giving myself time to heal and grow, I realized that no one is perfect and that as long as I continue to grind and follow my dreams, the answers will come eventually. I plan on posting inspiring and thought provoking content while sharing my personal journey and progress.  As far as Amore Luxe Media, I haven’t been advertising as much as I should but I provide social media management/marketing/writing composition assistance services.  If you or someone you know is in need of marketing/writing composition services, email angelacherai@gmail.com for more a detailed list of services and pricing information. I want to thank everyone who has supported me from Day 1. Your kind words, positive affirmations and constructive critiques have not been in vain and I am dedicated to bringing quality content that will add to your life! Love you all!

 

My new mantra is to make moves not announcements so I won’t even tease about the things I have in store but just know that more inspiring, motivating content is on the way. In the meantime, be sure to like/comment/share my Spotlight Post Series. Until next week, always remember to love and live luxuriously!