New Year’s Eve Reflections

Trey, vacays and learning how to truly live: 2017 in a nutshell!

Good Evening! It has been over 6 months since my last post and there is a very good reason for that: I really didn’t know what I wanted to do with “Amore Luxe” or if I even wanted to blog anymore. I feel like I have been pretty honest with you guys as it relates to what’s going on in my life and my feelings about everything but for the past couple of years, it just feels like I have gone through the motions and living life with no real passion or purpose. I still wanted to help others be the best versions of themselves by sharing my stories and experiences but because I wasn’t in a good place mentally, I was just going with the flow instead of finding new experiences that would help me feel more confident in myself and give me the passion and fulfillment that I craved.  My full-time job as a Director of a daycare center wasn’t what I envisioned for myself and as a result, I felt like a failure.  I wasn’t being an entrepreneur I feel that I am destined to be because I felt stuck in a 9-5 position where I wasn’t growing or evolving. This brought about negative thoughts and feeling and because I was miserable, I wasn’t able to be the best version of myself for the children. parents and staff that depended on me. I would come home emotionally drained and dread doing the same thing the following days ahead.I knew that there was more to life than what I was experiencing and an epiphany moment right before Thanksgiving was the catalyst that helped me restart my life in a different direction and  led to me make a few life altering decisions.

I thought about where I was in life, where I wanted to be and what steps I would need to take to get there. I was at a job that I stumbled into instead of working hard to get to that position and while I was a diligent and reliable employee, that passion and purpose that I desperately needed wasn’t there and when I realized that, I knew I had to move on.  I decided that December 22nd would be my last day because I didn’t want to start 2018 in the same space physically or mentally. After making that step, I knew I would have to figure out how to supplement unemployment with other sources of income. I manage social media platforms for businesses on the side and help college students with their essays/terms/thesis papers and plan on promoting these hustles more because it is something that is flexible and beneficial as it relates to what I want to do with my life. The last step was getting my mind right. I lost my paternal grandmother in October and her death added to the deaths of my other grandparents and father in the past few years was a breaking point emotionally. I just felt like I had no control over anything in life and didn’t know how to properly cope with the fear of that. I finally womaned up (lol) and decided to go to therapy. While I never judged anyone that chose to seek counseling, I always thought that I would have to be suicidal or at rock bottom in general to even consider talking to someone about my issues. I don’t have a problem sharing my issues with others but I always thought that in itself was therapy and I could fix things by just thinking positively and hoping for the best. When that failed time and time again, I felt like therapy was the only way out because I didn’t want things to get any worse than they already were before I got myself together. It turns out that therapy was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I am able to talk to an objective source about my life and my issues and receive feedback from someone who knows what they are talking about and does not judge based on someone’s current circumstances. My therapist helped me understand that a lot of my issues stem from things I never really dealt with in the past. I would talk about whatever was bothering me with someone and then that would be it. I would push it in the back of my mind and try not to think about it instead of tackling my emotions head on and being okay with things not being okay. I hate silence unless I am reading or doing work so sitting there for a minute or two and absorbing what had been said. It was a different approach to handling my issues and it has proven itself to helpful in all areas of my life.

Now that I’m in a better space mentally, I want to also work on the physical so I plan on joining a gym within the next couple of days. I feel like this is the perfect time to do so not only because of all the New Year’s promotions going on but I have the free time to commit to it and can also work on eating healthy to make sure that I will be in the best shape of my life! I’ll be honest with you guys, I am still unsure of exactly what direction I want to go with the site but it will still be confidence based but I’m in more of a vlogging than blogging space so expect more Snapchat/Instagram videos that will be reposted on here in addition to live chats and a podcast that I’m working on with a friend of mine 😉

2017 was a transition year for me and I am looking forward to the new beginnings that 2018 has in store for my life. Thank you so much for your support and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

 

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Eliminating Negative Energy

Good Morning! Still working on this consistent posting thing lol  but I do have something that I wanna talk about that has weighed on my mind for the past few days that I wanted to share with you guys. As I was scrolling through my Instagram feed, I stopped on a post by Cardi B of Love and Hip Hop fame (I think her posts are so entertaining so don’t judge me!) and she posted a pic of herself in a unique outfit and most of the comments were giving her praise posting things like:

girl you are working it!

beautiful!

heart emoji

big smiley emoji

kiss emoji

You get the picture!

Unfortunately, one person decided to write a comment that had nothing to do with the actual picture but choosing to comment instead on a rumor going around about her dumping a rapper she’s been seeing because he was going to charge her to be featured on a song of hers. Never mind that the rumor wasn’t true but it must have upset her so much that this was the ONLY comment that she replied to. Out of hundreds of positive comments/praise,  she chose to respond to the ONE person that brought negativity to her page and responded with anger saying something like:

“B-word” you don’t know what you’re talking about!

In that moment, I realized that many of us do the same thing on and offline and what starts out as being something positive and uplifting has turned into anger or resentment that weighs the soul down.

Instead of focusing on the “likes” or positive things happening in our lives, we choose to focus and respond to the negative; who doesn’t like us or why we don’t have this or that and dwelling on all the negative circumstances draws more negative energy our way.  You are what  you attract and instead of being concerned with that type of energy in the form of unnecessary criticism, harsh judgment or opinions that do not add to your life, focus on the people and things that make you happy and bring joy to  your day. Now I am not saying that there needs to be people who compliment you 24/7 to feed your ego or confidence but being around people who see the best in you and want the best for you is the easiest way to attract the things you want. If there are people in your life that focus more on the negative than the positive, you  may need to reevaluate these connections and find others that are like-minded and will help you in your journey to being the best version of  yourself. It is easier said than done but your peace of mind will thank you later for it;)

I’m working on being the best version of myself this summer by starting a 45 day fitness journey with a few of my friends, reading/listening to inspirational and motivational books/speeches, participating in a 90 day workshop with a group of inspiring and motivated women who also want to work on themselves and doing a bit of traveling for fun and celebration! Needless to say, I will have a lot to discuss in upcoming posts so make sure you always come back here to see what I am up to! Look forward to sharing my journey with you this summer and beyond!

Take care and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

 

Vulnerable

Good Morning! It’s been 4 months since my last post and there’s a really good reason for that…I just didn’t want to post for the sake of posting but actually post something when I was inspired. I have been vlogging a bit on Instagram and Snapchat but I wanted to wait until I knew exactly what I wanted to write about…this is more like a venting session so bear with me!

My biggest goal with this site has also been my biggest fear. I strive to be transparent and vulnerable with my readers/viewers but in doing that, I’ve opened up the door to be judged and criticized by others but most importantly, this process has made me overly critical of myself. I turned 31 last week and I never thought that my life would end up this way. I am working at a job which isn’t fulfilling my passion or purpose( or pockets for that matter lol), I am not in a committed relationship and wasted the majority of my 20’s in dead-end relationships, I am not where I want to be mentally, physically or spiritually and most of 2015 and part of 2016 was trying  to come to grips with the fact that life threw me a few curveballs and I didn’t handle them as swiftly as I think I should have and now I’m dealing with the consequences. I know that everyone has their turning point where they decide to make a change in their lives and I realize that I’ve had turning points for different facets of my life. At the end of 2015, I told myself that I wouldn’t have sex unless I was in a committed relationship and I’ve kept that promise no matter how tempting it may have been to fall back into my old ways of doing what was expected and being passive in a relationship. In 2016, I told myself that I would be more financially responsible and pay off my loans and bills. Now I am in 2017 and I am still unattached and still in debt and I wanted to get my life together before I started blogging again so I could be a good example of what being the best version of yourself gets you. It took me a minute to realize that being the best version of myself means that I have to be honest with myself and understand that no one is perfect. I know that to get to where I want to be in all aspects of my life, I have to put it all out there and show the ugliness and bare my soul sort to speak to find the beauty, love and happiness I desire.  Being uncomfortable means that I am allowing myself to accept that I need to change situations and circumstances in my life and gets me out of being in denial or accepting that this is the way that things will be. I have always stated that I am a work in progress but for the first time in a long time, I do not have an issue with putting myself out there when I stumble and fall because I know that in the end, I will have everything that I’ve been waiting for.

With all that being said, I am still trying to figure out the exact vision for “Amore Luxe”.  It started out as a love/sex/relationships website under a different name (If you have been here since “The Angielala Experience”, thank you for your support!) then when I renamed the site “Amore Luxe”, I decided switch my direction and discuss confidence related issues. At this point,  I don’t want to have any restrictions on the topics I talk about but I do want to discuss things that I am passionate about whether it be dating outside my race (which I have attempted in the past and am open to doing again!) or the latest Trey Songz album, (which has turned out to be one of my faves especially after seeing him perform the songs live!) I don’t want to be restricted because I strayed away from the main theme of the site was so as of now, “Amore Luxe will be about love, life and everything in between! I plan on revamping the site in the coming months so be patient with me cause I am an impulsive person by nature which isn’t always good because when I am adamant about things, I tend to rush. When you want to create something meaningful and lasting, these things take time so I wanna pace myself this go around but I promise you will love the result!  Any comments, suggestions or critiques are always welcome and if you don’t feel like sharing publicly in the comments section below, feel free to email me at angelacherai@amoreluxe.com 🙂 I even know what my next post will be about so stay tuned for that topic!

Thanks for reading all of that lol and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

 

 

 

Snow Day Revelations/Going on Hiatus

Hey everyone! It’s the first full week of February and I can’t believe that this is my first post of 2017. I didn’t plan on things being this way but the same old issues keep coming up mainly my lack of inspiration and motivation. I am off from work for the first time since Christmas break because of the snow and while I was having a lazy day in bed, I was finally inspired to write something! I told myself in 2017 there would be no more “woe is me” posts and I intend on keeping it that way but I also need to be honest with myself and my readers: I am not feeling the direction that I’ve taken with the site over the past couple of years, well more the execution of my ideas because it has brought me to the point where 6+ years into blogging/vlogging, I still feel like I haven’t really gotten into the swing of things and I’ve realized that is because I am still trying to figure out what I want for myself and for my life.

c83e4e9f3e567602e964d7d9d9c77ff7My behind the scenes team is always changing and the lack of consistency with that has hindered me greatly. I felt like if I didn’t have the team behind me that believed in me and my vision, maybe there was something wrong with what I was doing. What I failed to realize is that I was the foundation that everything else is built upon. If I didn’t believe in myself or my vision, it didn’t matter who was on my team, the vision would never come to life because of the shaky foundation that I erected.  When I came to the realization that my foundation wasn’t solid because of  the issues I was dealing with in my life up until that point, I knew that before I could build an empire or go after my dream of being the “Internet Oprah”, I had to work on becoming the best version of myself outside of the internet. I have a friend that is also a health/wellness coach that has helped me create the version of myself that I’ve always desired. I am working on having a healthier lifestyle (sooooo hard for someone who loves pasta and dairy foods!) but most importantly, I am learning that every day is a new day and instead of living in the past, I have to live in the present and plan for the future so I can get to where I want to be. Life is not a race and the only person I am competing with is the woman in the mirror so as long as I uplift myself and bring positive energy into everything I did, I will attract what it is that I want. Seems so simple right! It’s harder than any physical workout though because I have to change my way of thinking and way I view myself. I always say I am a work in progress and 2017 is when the world will see the fruits of all my hard work and labor so watch out!

With all that being said, I don’t know exactly when my next post will be. I am not giving up on the site but I am taking a hiatus so I can figure out what I want to do and how to execute it flawlessly. I plan on coming back after my mini vacation in March with updates on my progress and how I plan to switch things up with the “Amore Luxe” brand. Thank you for you love, patience and support and I will be back before you know it! 

 

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!