Ever stop to think that what you do as a single person will carry over into your marriage? Even though our lives with our future spouse will be a new experience it won’t cancel out all the other experiences we’ve had in the past. Take something as simple as sex. If we have all these sexual experiences as a single person we now put our future spouse in competition with everyone we’ve ever been sexual with and in order to be happy or satisfied they have to either be better than all the rest of at least tied with other partners that could only measure up to a sexual appetite. Does that sound fair? In order for the one we should love unconditionally to be with us, the requirement is for them to gain experience with other people before meeting us? It’s almost sounds like we pimp out our spouse before we even meet them. Instead of acting married when we’re single, we should understand being single is a gift. That way “when God truly brings who we are to have as our spouse there won’t be such a fight to figure out who’s better because you have none to compare.” –Tanisha Sutton
“If you think being single sucks it’s because you suck – if you can’t stand your own company, no one else will.”-Enitan Bereola, II
A lot of times we avoid the single life by getting into relationships with people who should have just remained friends. We are so bored and unexcited about our own life we need others to validate it. That doesn’t mean life is all about us and we don’t need anyone else but we should not feel our life is so bad that we have to go desperately searching outside sources for what we already have inside. So with that mindset, in a marriage if that’s done it’s considered cheating, whether it’s physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual.
There’s a saying, “Money doesn’t change you. It only magnifies who you already are.” I believe the same applies to marriage. If your single life is a mess, if you are insecure, if you compare partners, your marriage is subject to encounter the same things. Single life is very important because the experiences we go through will in some affect your married life. Consider your single life a precious time to prepare for your spouse in the most sufficient way. And that way won’t be from you jumping from relationship to relationship but becoming a better you emotionally, mentally, spiritually and even physically.