In elementary you made faces at the subject, in junior high you whispered about holding hands and passed notes, high school you werent as shy about it as before…Now as an adult you just call it what it is, being NAKED.
When was the last time you were completely naked with someone? I mean good and naked? Before you get your knickers in a bunch I don’t mean birthday suit, in all your glory naked. I mean when was the last time you showed your soul to someone flaws and all?
Intimacy: the act of being completely naked with someone while being fully clothed. I know that is not the Websters dictionary definition but it is a simplified version.
In social trends, sex sells, the raunchier the better, it is popular to talk about sex but not intimacy. For some reason sharing our bodies is a lot simpler than sharing our emotions. Why is that? Have we become so desensitized that it is no longer acceptable to share in that way?
I have come across dozens of reasons why people don’t want to be intimate. Some say it makes you weak and others say it gives too much control to the other person. However, are we not already giving others control over us when we allow them to dictate what beauty is? Or when we don’t vote? How about when we allow someone to degrade us physically? Arent these all ways of giving up control or being weak? This doesnt have to be a standard. Reclaim your ability to be complete, to not have to hide who you are…
Here are a few ways to become more comfortable with being intimate:
#1 You must know who YOU are.
So many people can tell you Beyonce’s full name, measurements and what diet she uses when getting ready for tour but can’t tell you what they want out of a relationship. It is sort of like the scene in Runaway Bride featuring Julia Roberts when she sits and samples all these different types of eggs because she realized she didn’t know that about herself. To share yourself with someone else you have to know what is inside you to share.
#2 You must have a desire to know each other.
Let’s be honest, everyone doesnt deserve to see you naked! We have all been in situations or conversations where someone is seemingly interested in your life… They ask you questions,but never let you finish or even make it all about THEM. The people who deserve to see you in your most vulnerable place will always prove it to you without you even asking.
#3 You must make time for intimacy.
While iPads, androids and laptops have boosted business productivity, in many cases it has driven a wedge in relationships. There is nothing like putting your bare naked soul on the line to someone, your thoughts are flowing and their pocket buzzes. Instead of ignoring it, they stop YOU mid sentence to respond. Making time for intimacy sometimes means having an understanding and respect for what’s important. (If you are unsure about whether you are important to someone, see tip #2).
Each and every one of us deserves to be who we are without a representative. To walk this earth in our bare naked soul. I hope that all of you find someone or have someone that you can be intimate with, because it is a beautiful and wonderful thing.
Until next time, in the meantime Im going to go get NAKED.