Whenever I hear someone make a statement about Battle of the Sexes out of nowhere music starts playing in my head, “…anything you can do I can do better.” So imagine my excitement when Goddess Intellect, creator of The Battle of the Sexes Show informed me that the show would be coming to a city near me May 17, 2013!
The Battle of the Sexes Show is an interactive experience where men and women can come together, sip, be sexy and discuss topics like: dating, love, marriage, relationships and sexuality. Of course when I heard the word “experience”, that solidified my attendance.
Oakland, CA the first experience on a 5 city national tour spared no expense at being fabulous. The scene seemed surreal. Photographer, moscato being served chilled, sushi, red velvet cookies and a variety of well spoken, well dressed panelists and attendees. After mingling for a short while our lovely hostess Goddess Intellect wasted no time engaging our four panelists Lincoln Anthony Blades, Author and Blogger at ThisIsYourConscience.com, Sharelle D. Lowery, of ClassyBlackGirl.com, Social Entrepreneur and Public Speaker, Kenya Williams, Sensuality Consultant and Author, and Dante “Real Talk” Toomer, Host of Real Talk, a live interactive lifestyle and relationship forum. Each panelist was nothing short of amazing, thought provoking and inspiring in their commentary.
No opinion was overlooked and the audience was eager to respond. With questions like, “Is there etiquette for threesomes in relationships?” You would think that this would be the most umm, “hands on” question however, one question seemed to spark not only a fire in our panelists and audience but myself as well… Should “baby mamas” be entitled to a Mother’s Day gift(s) even if they are already receiving child support from the child’s father?
Understanding that everyone is different and every individual will have a different relationship, I still believe that if a man has a respectful relationship with the mother of his child(ren), why not show appreciation? I quickly discovered that there is no shortage of women who would scowl at me for my statement…
With that said what’s the REAL reason women get enraged over the subject? During the discussion everything from respect, finances and insecurities were thrown around the room. What say I? Personal accountability and respect for YOURSELF is at the root of the issue.
Ladies (as a woman who has coincidentally never dated a man who did not already have children), you known what you signed up for. No need fake the funk. When you interact with someone (male or female) with child(ren) there will be a certain amount of “past” to deal with, and it doesn’t have to be a bad experience. There just can’t be any “eyes wide shut” going into the relationship. This is a situation where knowing and being confident within yourself is key.
Just because a man shows his appreciation for the woman raising his seed doesn’t diminish what you have with him. Now, it goes without saying all men aren’t upstanding individuals and may be practicing their Mr. Big and still getting it in “on the down low”, but that is when its beneficial to KNOW who you are dating. Finances can be an issue in some cases, and if you find his special efforts are in fact jeopadizing the household you both share, don’t get loud and out of order (I know you want to, but don’t!) Bring it to his attention and if you can’t reasonably work that out maybe his situation isn’t the one for you; because then it becomes an issue of whether this man is responsible enough to build a life with.
Whatever the motivation behind dating a person at the end of the day, you have control over what you say and do. Be honest with yourself, respectful of yourself and confident within yourself and no matter what your experience you will still be able to move forward. I hope whatever dating or relationship experience you are currently in is a positive one, if you are dating someone with children and are want to share your experience with us, leave a comment or you can find us on facebook by clicking our link: The Angielala Experience
Til next time!