Confidence….Are You Living It?

Screenshot_2013-09-05-10-54-35-1It’s been a long hiatus but I’ve returned. I’m excited to be a part of “The Confidence Campaign” with my girl Angie. It has me observing and studying not only what makes others confidence but also myself. Along with things I’m not too confident about. It’s not something I think too much about but then again I do. I follow a lot of relationship pages on Facebook and mainly there are stories from women in these complicated relationships but also pages where men go to vent as well. I’m always reading stories by anonymous people in situations that I’m just not here for. I know many would say that it’s easy to say “that would never be me” because I’m not in that relationship or I just haven’t found that someone I would go through hell with. But the thing is there is a difference between going through hell with someone and someone giving you hell. And truth is I’ve been in one of those relationships. Not necessarily someone giving me hell, but in the midst of drama, heartache, and insecurity with someone who didn’t make me feel confident until I realized that’s not their job to do but my own.

In my own life, I had an ex “cheat” on me and I remember feeling like someone punched me in my stomach. Someone I loved and someone I wanted did something so hurtful. I found out over the phone and I can remember hanging up the phone and with so many thoughts running through my head, but I didn’t want to cry and I didn’t. About two hours later after sulking in my feelings I thought of my mother and I heard a voice tell me, “Daughter, you are worthy. You’re just not living like it.” I was supposed to go to ex’s house later that day to “work things out” but I didn’t. I felt ashamed of myself because I knew the kind of woman God wanted me to be. I wasn’t living a life that made me proud, my mother proud or God proud. That day I gained the greatest confidence. That was the last time I spoke to my ex other than a 2 line message I sent him about a piece a mail I received that was his. It’s been almost 4 years. At the end of the day we are all worthy but not too many people are living like it. And now I dedicate a lot of time and energy to help people change their mind about themselves. It doesn’t matter how we look, how much money we have, or how well we dress, we should all have the confidence that we should be loved and respected; If not by others, at least enough by ourselves to not remain in the company of those who don’t. My favorite thing to tell people is, you first should meet the standard for the kind of love you want and deserve. Anyone who can’t match or exceed that standard needs to be cut loose. At the end of the day, you still have you. And that’s SOMEBODY.

❤ Tendra

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