Over the years society (media in particular) has bombarded individuals with overwhelming images to keep you in a perpetuated cycle of self defeating behavior. Which got me to thinking… am I sure or unsure?
Some of you out there may remember the deodorant commercial where the would show people who used “their” brand versus a competitor. Each scene would show a confident persons arms raised high, smiling, saying “SURE”, the other would frown and be embarrassed to raise their arms “UNSURE”. I got the biggest laugh out of that commercial.
By the end of my rant I am in high hopes that you will be sure. If not, you will leave with some tips that can help get you there.
Slogans like B.Y.O.B. (be your own best friend) have been around for years. The song by De La Soul “Me, Myself and I” is an anthem for confidence across the country, but how to does a person start on that journey? Well to start with:
–Accept Failure: Failure is a natural process. It has to happen in most cases for us to understand what to do better. If you don’t believe me check out Angielala post Rejection: The other motivation killer
–Maintain or make eye contact: Whenever you are nervous roaming eyes can convey to the other person that you may not know what you are talking about, or that you are simply not confident. Maintaining eye contact when interacting with people is a sure way to convey your confidence.
–Speak clearly: As a child my mother would become agitated with me for mumbling and now as an adult I can see why. When you do not speak clearly it makes communication more challenging and when someone has to ask you to repeat yourself because of not speaking clearly it just screams “I AM NOT CONFIDENT”.
–Be aware of your non verbal communication: In various studies it has been recorded that more than 50% of our communication as humans is non verbal. What does that mean for you on your journey to confidence? It means you should listen to your grandmother, mother, uncle or to whomever in your life that use to give you this lecture, ” Get your hands out of your pockets and stand up straight, shake people’s hand firmly and always look them in the eyes.” Either there are some extremely clairvoyant people in the world who knew I was going to write this post in the year 2013 OR there are just some wise people in the universe. (I’m banking on the latter of the two…)
-Grooming: I’m not usually ranting about the superficial aspect of life however, no one can deny that some days a tucked in shirt and fresh breath can get your further than the latest fashion trends. While we tend to emphasize style and trends sometimes we forget to encourage the simple things. Hair cuts, ironing clothes and clean nails can say tons about an individual. If you care about yourself, then you can be/appear confident or more confident to other people.
-Fake it til you make it: Don’t act all shocked and surprise that I said it! I am aware that I just spent several paragraphs being prim and polished, but lets be real sometimes red bottoms and Windsor knots aren’t enough to keep you going. So here I am encouraging you to use your imagination when your new hair-do or new suit isn’t sufficient to cure your “case of the Mondays”; be your own biggest fan.
And last but definitely not least…
I could write an entirely separate post on this, but I won’t. I’m going to wrap it up, I promise… Once you’ve accomplished your goal its alright to want more, just don’t diminish how far you’ve already come. Or as I like to call it, When feeling good goes bad…
Til next post, be happy, be inspired and be confident.