Can I handle the truth: Day 1 Something I Hate About Myself

Creative-Review-Truth

You know… I’ve done the 30 Days of Truth challenge before however, never with an audience. So bare with me while I bare my soul. I’m finding it particularly interesting and somewhat intimidating to lay all my cards on the table.

In the interest of stepping out and just being confident here it goes…

Something I hate about myself, hmmm when I first answered this question my response was something like this

I hate (had to dig deeper than I expected for this one) my frequent tendency to be so hard on myself.

Since I was a little girl I have this horrible tendency to be hard on myself. If a story wasn’t quite right, or my latest creation wasn’t the equivalent of my vision (never mind that people applauded and exalted my efforts/accomplishments) I would beat myself up over it repeatedly until I was satisfied with the revisions.  I am a repeat offender because throughout school, college and my adult life I manage to find something to beat myself up about. A pie that didn’t get the perfect golden brown I wanted, a clean room where I’ve remembered to clean the base boards, light switches, door knobs and electronics but didn’t quite get the grout as good as I expected.

So with that truth out in the open, I guess that’s one more thing on my bucket list: Stop being so hard on yourself.

Today I am proud to say I’m nowhere near as brutal on myself as before. Although, my alternative is not too much better. I hate the fact that I now become discouraged a lot more than I use to. I guess the stress of living my dreams is more than I bargained for. In the grand scheme of things I’ve come to accept that it pays to have friends because I undoubtedly would be more than just discouraged if it weren’t for them.

They say admit it and quit it, hopefully by day 30 I’ll have it under control. Til tomorrow!

 

-B. Soul

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