Day 3: Something I need to forgive myself for

Hey everyone! I didn’t forget to do Day 2 of the 30 days of truth because it is very easy for me to be truthful about what I love about forgivemyself. I love that I am driven, passionate and when I set my mind to getting what I want, I give my all. This site is the perfect example of that. It started out as a way to vent but myself and others saw that it could be something greater and 3 years later, I have gotten to meet so many people and interview celebrities and I am not even 30 yet! I am so blessed and thankful for never limiting myself to others’ expectations but to grow and evolve, I need to be honest with myself and let some things in the past go. I had a crazy dream last night about someone from my past and I felt that this would be the perfect story to share and hopefully in sharing it, I could let the situation go and forgive myself in the process.

 

There was this guy in high school that i had a massive crush on. He seemed to like me but not as strongly as I felt for him but unlike experiences with guys in the past, he always complimented me and encouraged me to believe in myself.  A few years later when my ex and I were going through problems, I met up with my former crush when he was doing business in Atlanta and one thing led to another and we slept together. After that, everything changed. We would run into each other at various events through a mutual acquaintance and the guy that I once thought had my back ended up talking about me behind my back. He had this image of me based off of past experiences with this mutual acquaintance as well as the perception that many people saw but I thought he was able to see past those things for the person I really was. I ended up feeling like an idiot and although we hashed things out and made peace, there is something in the back of my mind that makes me feel like I have to prove myself to others to show that I am not the naive, insecure little girl I used to be. Although this guy didn’t have anything to do with my insecurities, thinking about how things ended between us opens up old wounds and after the dream I had with him last night (which felt like high school all over again) I realized that I wasn’t as over the situation as I previously believed. My former crush is a representation of me looking for acceptance and approval in others and when I don’t receive it, I start thinking less of myself.  I have to forgive myself for the things that I allowed to happen in the past to grow and move on. Most importantly, I can’t let him or anyone else make me feel inferior. I haven’t seen my former crush in years but if ever we meet again, I will make sure to be unapologetic in my thoughts and actions by being true to myself and if it isn’t seen as “acceptable” to him or anyone else, they all can kick rocks! (that’s the PG version of what I really want to say :p)

Let me know what you think of the questions for the 30 days of truth exercise so far! As always, hit me up on here or on Twitter (@angielala) or Facebook (The Angielala Experience). Talk to you soon!

love.laugh.live.life

 

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