Slippin

Ay yo I’m slippin’, I’m fallin’, I can’t get up
Ay yo I’m slippin’, I’m fallin’, I can’t get up
Ay yo I’m slippin’, I’m fallin’, I gots to get up
Get me back on my feet so I can tear shit up

DMX-Slippin
falling-down-and-getting-upI have mentioned in previous posts about the rut I have been in for the past few weeks. I know that life is hard but once you push through the pain and strife, it can be beautiful as well but sometimes the pain blocks you from seeing the bigger picture. Your visions for your are there in your mind so vividly that you see them when you dream at night but when you wake up, its like they never existed especially when dealing with the bullshit in your everyday life. Some things like the way others behave and respond are out of your control but others like your focus and determination have to come from within. I have always been the “smart girl” the one that was going to do something with her life so when I flunked out of college the first time around, my family and friends were shocked. They didn’t understand that even though I had goals and plans, I didn’t have a passion for anything. I knew what I wanted the end goal to be but I didn’t have the strength or courage to do what it took to get there. I had to get my life together and grow up. Finally I started getting back on track and came out in full force the second time around. I was able to start this site, interview people I admired from afar through my television screen and I graduated with honors and earning a marketing degree from college. I was proud of myself but I know that I can’t live on past accomplishments because at this point in my life, I am at a crossroads. It’s either sink or swim and I feel like I have been slowly sinking, slowly drowning in negativity. Family issues, relationship issues and most importantly issues within myself have me feeling like there is no way  past the current situation I am in sometimes. I want my reality to be as powerful and as vivid as my dreams but life’s problems keep getting in the way. I know that I am stronger than I give myself credit for and that the result of hard work will be worth it. I have to work at it everyday to bring those visions in my mind to life. Nothing worth having ever comes easy but just because I have had moments where I “slipped up”, staying down and accepting defeat is just as bad if not worse than not trying at all. I am a work in progress but the result will be amazing and that’s whatgives me the motivation to get back up. I hope that you all have someone or something that helps you get back up and make the most out of everday. It is one thing to survive but actually LIVING is a whole different story. I am going to leave you with this question: Are you merely surviving or are you living? I choose to live:)

I will be doing a live Spreecast Chat Tuesday night at 9pm EST so stay tuned for that as well as some announcements related to the “Confidence Campaign” Thanks for rockin with me through all of my ups and downs. It means more to me than you will ever know! Much love:)

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