It’s time to be a big girl now and big girls don’t cry
I will be 28 in 4 months but sometimes I still feel like I’m 13. I have responsibilities that I have to take care of but I seem to attempt to avoid or delay the inevitable and when it comes back to bite me in the ass, its like the world is screaming a big “I told you so!” at me. I guess living with my mother doesn’t help as far as feeling like an adult. I told myself I would be here temporarily until I got my life together, finished school and all that. My mother doesn’t mind but I do. I know that I am blessed and fortunate to have her in my life but I know that in order for me to get to where I have to go, I have to stop using my mom as a security blanket and take that big leap and see where it leads me. She will always be there for me when I fall but I have to experience falling and failure for me to appreciate the success that taking chances brings.
I told myself that 2014 would be the year of changes and the first change I was going to make was to stop feeling sorry for myself. No more “pity parties” because we all have to go through something to get to something. I don’t have a monopoly on pain and strife and neither does anyone else. We have to make the best of the cards we are dealt with and I know that wallowing in self-pity will only keep me down. The second change will be to follow through on my word. I feel like I have been a “flake” for the past year or so and I refuse to be the person who isn’t dependable or truthful. Actions speak louder than words and I will take action and make sure that if I say I will do something or go somewhere, I will do just that. Lastly, I will take responsibility for any missteps along the way and rectify them in the best way I can instead of waiting for others to try to fix things. I am not perfect but I know that to be a better person, you have to lead by example. I know it’s easier said than done but I will give my all to make sure that everyday is one step closer to the woman that I want to be.
Big girls may not cry but they are allowed to be sad every once in awhile, as long as they get back up and try it again:)