I was going back and forth with my friend Jou on her Facebook page Sunday night because she stated that the guy she settles down with must be financially stable. I understood where she was coming from but I said as long as he is working towards that point, I wouldn’t have a problem in building with him. She was adamant about the fact that her man has to be able to provide for himself and his family at that present time. Hoping that things will change isn’t enough. I started to think about all that I wanted in the man I choose to settle down with and I always said that the man has to be doing as well as myself or better in order for us to work in the long run. I then started thinking about my current situation and the man who I am with. he is very self-sufficient and independent. He takes care of his responsibilities and isn’t financially or emotionally dependent on me or anyone else which I wasn’t used to. Then I thought about myself. I am not as independent as I would like to be and I am still trying to figure out just what I have to do to get to where I want to be in life. I refused to settle for mediocrity so now I choose to do work that allows me to be flexible and still follow my dreams. My mother helps me out a lot with finances including what it has taken to help mold my dreams and bring my visions to life. I have a lot to offer but not all the things have materialized yet. If my boyfriend had my way of thinking, he would probably have lost interest in me a long time ago. Even though I am not where I want to be in life at this moment, I am taking all the necessary steps I have to to get there. I have a lot to offer and I feel he sees the greatness that is in store for me aka my “potential”
I think that it is important to have standards when you are dating because you can’t just settle down with just anybody just because you don’t want to be alone. On the other hand, some of those standards should be adjusted depending on the person and the circumstances surrounding them. I remember watching Steve Harvey co-host a panel and actor/author Hill Harper told a story of a woman who was more successful than her then boyfriend at the time.(Check out the video above for the spoiler to this story ) She was 4 years deep at a law firm and about to make partner at this firm and the man she fell for had just graduated, had no money and drove a beat up looking car when they went out on dates. Needless to say, he did not have much to offer her at that point in terms of financial stability. That did not stop her from being in a relationship with him. She saw something in him that he may not have even seen in himself and she was able to motivate him and lift him up. That woman was Michelle Obama and the man that once was under her at the law firm ended up being President Barack Obama. Who would have known that someone like him would aspire to greatness? She saw his potential and the rest is history!
Now I am not saying that everyone with potential lives up to it because there are plenty of people out there who could have made something of their lives and chose to waste it away because they didn’t want to work hard and sacrifice. I feel that if you meet someone who has a vision for his or her life and has made plans and is following through on those plans, sticking by them may be tough but in the end, it can all be worth it. Most importantly, remember the times in your life when you were at a crossroads and remember the people who saw something in you that helped you get closer to your dreams. Everyone needs those type of people in their lives and just like you will have a positive effect on the man/woman with potential, he or she will have that same positive effect on you:)