Hey everyone! It’s been a few weeks since my last post and part of the reason was technical issue with the site but the main reason I haven’t been posting is because I struggled both personally and professionally. I have talked about me being frustrated as far as where I am in love and in life as a whole but for the past week, the frustration has built and brought about anxiety and tension. I know that change starts in the mind and that you have to conceive something for it to be achieved but somewhere along the way, self-pity and doubt creeped in and lingered throughout my day. Talking about these feelings help somewhat but when I am alone once again, I start thinking and wishing that things were different.
The worst habit that I have is that I compare my life and current situation to that of my peers who I feel are more successful in their love life, career or both in some cases. I will be 29 in 11 days and I always thought that I would have it all together by the time I was approaching 30. I thought I would have a successful marketing career and have the site bring me closer to my dreams of being the “Internet Oprah”.As far as my love life, I thought I would be in a committed relationship on the road to marriage. I want children someday but as long as my career and love life were on track, I figured having 2 kids would fall into place sometime in my early 30’s. My reality is far different from my earlier expectations. I am working 2 part-time jobs, one which I can’t stand (retail) and the other which I like (tutoring) but isn’t my passion or purpose. I am attempting to date but it has been hard to let go of my old habits and feelings towards the opposite sex and how I view myself. I know that I have to work on myself before I can be in a successful relationship but I also want to date and relax without the pressure of always expecting more especially when I can tell that things aren’t headed in that direction. Most importantly, I want to stop comparing myself to others because I know that my journey is my own and my story is not the same as everyone else. I may want different things out of life and have different ideas on what success is so for me to compare my life to others is doing a disservice to myself. What is meant to be will be and I need to take charge and focus on changing the things I can and learning how to leave everything else in God’s hands. Acknowledgement of my issues is the first step and sharing these issues with you all is a form of therapy for me. I hope that my journey will be helpful to others especially if you are going through a similar situation. Life can be unpredictable and overwhelming but can also amazing as long as you can be the best version of yourself, give your all when you really want something, and most importantly, have no regrets.
I never considered myself to be an expert of any kind because I am learning day by day on how to live the best life for myself. Life is the greatest teacher and has made me realize how strong I am, how much I have grown and how far I have come from the person I was a decade ago. The right amount of pressure makes diamonds so please be patient with me because I am going to work hard on “Amore Luxe” and on being the person I want to be so I can shine and spread my inner light with others in hopes that they can do the same.
Always remember to love and live luxuriously!