Good Afternoon! Writing 3x a week has been a difficult task for me to say the least! It’s not that I don’t have ideas but I don’t ever want my posts to come across as insincere or contrived. My goal is to always be genuine, honest and direct while writing and I hope that everyone that reads my posts can gain something from it whether its clarity on a specific situation or a sense of relief because they know that they are not alone. I had an idea for a post that I started to write yesterday but then someone from the not so distant past contacted me out of nowhere and inspired me to switch things up in hopes that my story could help/inspire all of you.
The guy that contacted me out of the blue taught me a very valuable lesson. “MIA” (you will understand the reason for the nickname in a moment) was someone I was introduced to via an online dating site. I was very weary of joining one but was having bad luck dating people I met by chance so I decided to go a different route. When MIA and I started messaging each other, he seemed too good to be true. He appeared to be honest, forthcoming and genuine, something that was lacking from my earlier situations. Unfortunately, he left as quickly as he came and went missing in action one day (hence the nickname MIA) without warning. I never had anyone go ghost on me and it was not only disappointing but frustrating because you can’t voice your anger/irritation/sadness to someone who isn’t there. It is hard to find closure on a situation that ended out of nowhere with no reasons why it happened. This had never happened to me before so I wasn’t sure of how to deal with it. I was understandably angry but holding that anger in is the same as drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer. Over time, the anger slowly subsided but I still hadn’t found the closure I craved. I couldn’t figure out why until one day I realized that in order for me to find closure, I had to let go of what happened between us in the past and learn to forgive him, not for him but for my peace of mind and well-being.
Forgiveness is easier said than done but I knew that I was capable of it once I stopped trying to figure out his reasons or motives. Instead, I started directing my energy on working on the things that I could control in my life and learning how to follow my intuition . I really didn’t expect to hear from him so when he messaged me yesterday, surprise was an understatement. Normally if I’m still harboring feelings of anger and resentment towards someone, having the person contact me in any way gets me riled up and ruins my mood for the day. When I saw that MIA had messaged me however, after the initial shock wore off ,I didn’t really feel anything at all. I wasn’t upset with him anymore because his actions were a reflection of the kind of person he was and had nothing to do with me. He apologized profusely and although I thought it was a nice gesture, it wasn’t needed because I had already forgiven him months ago and no longer needed closure in the form of an apology or explanation from him. There is a saying that goes, “Always forgive, but never forget, Learn from your mistakes but never regret.” Even though I’ve forgiven MIA, I won’t forget the hurt he caused and I don’t think that we could ever get back to the way things were before. I don’t regret meeting him though because that experience taught me a lot about myself. It made me look at all the choices I have made with men and made me realize that I need to work on becoming the best version of myself instead of seeking validation from someone else. I am single for the first time in a long time but I no longer feel the need to find love because as corny as it may sound, I am learning to love myself and let go of anyone or anything that isn’t worthy of my love and attention. Every lesson is a blessing!
Life is unpredictable so while I like to know what I am going to write beforehand, I don’t know what the future holds so make sure you come back on Monday to see what comes to mind! Also be sure to like/comment/share if you enjoyed this post:) Have a great weekend!
Always remember to love and live luxuriously!