Just Hold On . . .

Excuse me while I blow the dust off the keypad of my laptop. I know it’s been awhile, but that thing called ‘life’ tends to be something serious every once in awhile. Life can be a beautiful thing at times. Yet, these past few weeks has been one big challenge that has been a thorn in my side since the day it started. I kept contemplating on whether or not I should post about it, not wanting to seem like a whiner, but I’m slowly realizing that someone else could be going through something remotely close to my issue. So why not blog about it with the hopes that it at least touches one person.

Since starting my senior year at Penn State University, BLUE & WHITE!, I’ve been thinking of nothing but life after graduation. I guess you can say I have been making a game plan as well as creating some sort of legacy to leave behind like Senior Class Vice-President of the Student Government Association as well the President of Confident Natural You, just to name a few. I have my last year of college all planned out with positive vibes being the fuel.

And then comes that big dark cloud of misery that pours down fat raindrops of B.S. and makes things complicated for me. I don’t want to get too much into my life , but just know that life comes with this on going cycle of good and bad days, but SHEESH there are times when breaks are needed! The amount of stress that was thrown at me in just two days was just enough for me to breakdown in tears just to see the brighter things in life. It sucks that things like that needs to happen; crying, I mean. I hate that life has the opportunity to get just that crazy that an emotional breakdown is all that a person can do. I’m not too quick to cry, so facing the reality that this particular moment was indeed the time to bring out the box of tissues and a good shoulder to cry on was a bit hard to come to terms with.

As a result, I feel better — for the most part anyway. I had to tell myself that these bad moments are just reminders that something great is about to happen. I don’t know exactly what this ‘great’ thing is, but confidence in God is all I have. Of course, stress/depression sucks at that current moment, but I’m telling you, God doesn’t give you things that He knows you can’t handle. They’re all just tests. One challenge after the other to give you that appreciation at the end of the road. At some point in my life, I know I’ll be able to look back at my senior year and all these problems will make sense.

For all those who are currently down and out and lost in life, it won’t last for long. Just have confidence in the man upstairs and you’ll be okay. He will never lead you astray if you trust and believe in him. He got you. Just hold on …

– Fenominelly

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Growing Up Is A Trap

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If there is one thing that I could name as the “Dumbest Decision Ever Made” it would be growing up. Yes, I am well aware of the fact that it is inevitable, but what I mean is the act of actually complying with it. For instance, moving out of your parents home, buying a car, falling into a serious relationship with the open option to actually get married, having children or getting a job and later realizing that you are spending most of your time either at work or in bed. Need I go on?

I absorbed the mentality of eternal youth from my father. No, I don’t believe in some magical fountain that would freeze my age forever physically. Instead, I have gone with the idea that you can remain youthful no matter how old you are. Something I like to call “The Big Kid Theory”. My father has always lived by this theory as well as being realistic with himself in life. However, no matter how real things get for him, he still remains to throw in a moment to be goofy, watch a kid’s movie or do something that involves even the slightest adrenaline rush. At the age of 52, my father still knows how to have some sort of fun–even if it is after his nap.

I can’t remember exactly when I grew up. All I know is  that one day I woke up with a notion that I no longer wanted to be underneath my parents. Going away to school for 10 months and then staying at my parents’ house for about 3 to 4 months became a drag. So, when an opportunity aroused I gladly accepted it. It wasn’t until recently that I woke up wondering where my ‘fun times’ went that didn’t involve a large crowd, loud music, an immense amount of alcohol and mornings that required sunglasses and Advil. Or whenever payday came around it seemed as if all my money went to so called responsibilities instead of actually being used on myself. It’s almost as if adulthood just weaseled its way in without me even realizing it. I thought I had control over my life until ‘adulthood’ became a thing amongst my peers. Everyone is either getting married, having children, both or being an adult in some other form and boasting about it. Whereas, I’m just sitting here waiting to graduate from college and find a way to the United Kingdom.

A part of me is running from the idea of growing up, I will admit, no matter how inevitable it is. So I hold on to the idea of eternal youth. I tell myself that no matter how old I get, that double digit is just a number. It is yet another way to track how long I’ve been on this planet. What really matters is what I do while my number increases. I’m confident in knowing that even though I may not be getting married to the love of my life or having my first born child any time soon, something that is far more dramatically amazing will happen in my long chapter of adulthood. So while I wait, certain that my life is already drawn out with tons of adventure, love and success, I shall carry on “The Big Kid Theory” and grow up as slow as possible.

-Fenominelly

It Ain’t Easy Being Tommy

Greetings, earthlings. My name is Fenominelly, formally known as Robby Rob, and I was Angela’s co-host in February for “How To Approach That Special Someone”. I’m new to this, so please bare with me. My words won’t be as poetic as Tendra’s or well put together as any of the other contributing women of the site, but I feel that is what will make me spTommy From Martinecial. 😀

I want to kick off my first post by writing about the act of finding a job. That step is NOT easy. I have been at this step since the beginning of May and have had nothing, but interviews filled with hope. I have just entered my senior year in college (PENN STATE WADDUP!!) and coming home every summer has been a bit of a drag. I would end my school with hopes for the summer, only for it to die down slowly because I haven’t been able to obtain the one thing that would set off my entire vacation; a JOB. I, as well as many people around the world, try almost everyday to look for work and even though interviews come and go, they do just that; come and go. I opened up this summer with three interviews and was excited. It has almost been a month since I have been home and so far I haven’t received a  solid yes. Does it hurt? Yes. Does it take a piece of me each time I realize this was yet another dead end interview? Of course. But today, I got the best advice I could have gotten in a long time.

“We live to live out our dreams. The cost of that is very expensive.”

To my sister from another mister, I thank you for these inspirational words. It reminded me that hard-work and perseverance will get me where I would like to be. That is my message to you all today. Have confidence in knowing that your hard-work and perseverance will get you to wherever your dream is because the cost is your sweat and tears. The cost for that dream to come true is you going from your lowest of all lows  to that absolute high. Your lows are to remind you of just how great the high will be. Therefore, keeping pushing and keep fighting. I know it is much easier said than done, but always remember that there is a rainbow after the storm cloud.

-Fenominelly