New Year, Improved Me!

D9FE907C-A2EF-41A9-AA4C-2AE816316CC2Happy New Year! I know I have been MIA but its been for a pretty good reason. I am in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship so most of my free time has been spent with my boyfriend 🙂 Its been great because I haven’t been this happy in a long time but as a result, I have been slacking with posts. I won’t apologize for finding happiness but I do plan on managing my time wisely this year. I have come up with a list of things I want to achieve for 2020 which I will touch on in a minute but everything included on my list aren’t goals to change myself completely as much as they are to improve the foundation that has already been set because I like who I am becoming and don’t need to do a complete 180 in order to see results.

I am using my 2020 goals as a way of tightening up and instead of putting specific dates on all of my goals, I am using the new year as a starting point where I can reevaluate what has worked so far and adjust accordingly by adding specific requirements in order to achieve goals. I joined the gym last year but haven’t been working out and one of the reasons was because I didn’t have a specific goal in mind. I wanted to lose weight but I wasn’t sure how much and I knew that I would have to have healthier eating habits in order to achieve any lasting results. My goal in 2020 is to lose 15 pounds and tone up and  in addition to working out and focusing on exercises that target the midsection, I plan on cutting out white foods (bread, rice pasta, etc) limit dairy, red meat and processed foods and my biggest addiction which is soda specifically Coke and drink more water. Anyone that knows me knows how hard this will be for me because I love my Coca Cola but I know that I have to do better to be better and this is one of the challenges that I have to overcome to get to where I need to be.

Another goal of mine is to save $$$ in 2020. I spent a lot of $$$ this holiday season but I vowed to myself that I wouldn’t spend any more $$$ on frivolous items on a regular basis. I am also looking for additional streams of income to make more money to save so back on the job hunt I go! I have many things I want to accomplish and I have seen so many tips and tricks on saving $$$ with a limited budget so why should I be any different??? I am going to work with what I currently have but at the same time, I am going to seek out other opportunities in order to get my finances to where I want them to be. There are so many things I want to do but I need the funds so I will restrict myself spending wise now to benefit from the fruits of my labor later!

Most of my goals consist of not taking the easy way out and choosing to challenge myself past my current mental and physical limits in order to become a better version of myself. There is nothing permanent in life except change so I am learning how to not only face change head on but to embrace all that comes with it! Regardless of what your New Year Resolutions/Goals are, understand that change is inevitable and necessary to get to that next level!

What are your New Year’s Resolutions? Let me know in the comments below. I’ll be back next week with a new post but until then always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

 

Wisdom Wednesday: No More Excuses!

Good Morning!  I had another post ready to go but after having a conversation with a special someone, I realized that the topic that I had previously chosen really didn’t resonate with me and the writing process felt forced. I started thinking about what I have been dealing with and I realized with all that is going on in my life, I have been making excuses for not doing the things I said I was going to do. I know that if I really want something, I do whatever it takes to get what it is that I desire but lately, I have been making excuses for not achieving the goals I set out to do whether it is promoting “Amore Luxe Media” more, working out 2-3 times a week, drinking more water, etc. I don’t have any valid reasons why I can’t accomplish my goals but I have placed the feelings of comfort and contentment above the fear of failure and disappointment instead of focusing on the end result that will lead to happiness and fulfillment by accomplishing my goals.

My ultimate goal is to become stronger mentally, physically and spiritually. In order to accomplish this, I have to work on the things that are holding me back from being the best version of myself. Going to therapy has helped me improve my mental well-being but I have to do the work after my sessions which means that I need to use the tools that I learned in therapy such as positive thinking, decatastrophizing and meditation/breathing exercises in order to reap the benefits of what I have learned without making excuses that result into the old ways of thinking. As far as my physical well-being, I need to stop making excuses about not drinking water, eating healthier or going to the gym since they are attainable (especially since I pay for a monthly gym membership that is going to waste lol) Not messing up my hair or not wanting to drink water because of the taste isn’t a good enough excuse for me not to do the things that will improve my overall health. My father’s side of the family has a high risk of heart disease and making excuses solely because I don’t want to inconvenience myself is not only stupid but it is putting my health at risk. A temporary inconvenience should not be a deterrent from being in peak physical condition. Excuses are for those who lack the passion and drive to change their life and I refuse to continue to be part of that group!

As far as my professional goals are concerned, I am working on “Amore Luxe Media” holiday promo specials so be on the lookout for that! I also plan on doing a couple of panels and discussions for 2020 so if you are in the NYC/NJ area, definitely stay tuned for that. Most importantly, I just want to remain true to myself and my vision and “Amore Luxe” is a big part of that so thank you for your continued support. It means the world to me! I am in a pretty good place in my life right now and I can’t wait to see what the end of 2019 and the beginning of 2020 bring. I will be sure to keep you all updated every step of the way! I’ll be back with a new post on Friday or Monday depending on my schedule but until then, always remember to love and live luxuriously!

Wisdom Wednesday: Maintaining A Work/Life Balance

Good Afternoon! After getting back on my grind, the hardest thing was trying to find a good work/life balance. Incorporating effective time management skills was crucial for my sanity especially when I had multiple clients who required a lot from me and I was slowly but surely figuring it out. I had the work part on lock but trying to figure out how to have an active social life has been a bit more difficult especially when you want to date and hang out with your friends but its difficult when the assignment that you are working on for your client or having to get up early in the  morning for work is on the back of your mind! Finding that balance is difficult but I’ve realized that it is essential to your mental and physical well-being.

I realized that sticking to time restraints at work is vital to having time for a social life. I always create deadlines for myself that occur before  the actual deadline so I can rest assured knowing that the task was completed and I have room to make changes if needed. I also give myself time restraints as it relates to my social life. Those restraints have been a bit more difficult to follow especially if I am out enjoying myself but I know that I will pay for it in the end if I don’t! I’m still a work in progress when it comes to that part of my life but every time I wake up groggy and exhausted from the previous night’s events is a lesson learned lol

I love the fact that things are looking up in my professional and personal life but I still want to make sure that I don’t overextend myself in either direction. I always want to take time out for myself in order to feel relaxed and rejuvenated. I love binge watching my fave shows and taking naps but regardless of the activity, (or lack thereof) balance is the key!

Since I don’t have any client assignments for the week, I should be able to post on Friday. Make sure you follow me on IG (@amoreluxe_) and Facebook (Angela Cherai) if you have any suggestions for post ideas or any comments in general. Until the next time, always be sure to love and live luxuriously!

Stop Trying To Fix Broken People

Good Morning!  I want to get right into today’s blog post topic because I have been seeing links and posts related to this topic for the past week and it has been on my mind heavy to discuss my personal experiences as it relates to being the fixer in relationships. After going to a men’s only discussion this past Saturday, I realized that when men aren’t ready to be in a committed relationship, they will not put in the time and effort it takes for the relationship to work. Some may stick around for the sex or convenience of the relationship but their actions makes it clear as to what their intentions really are. In the past, instead of paying attention to their actions, (or lack of inaction in many cases) I would try to “fix” whatever I saw that was broken in them or their situation in hopes that they would come to the light and realize that I was the woman of their dreams. Now I don’t need to tell you how that worked out lmao but what I realized that instead of trying to fix someone else, I needed to fix what what broken inside of me.

Growing up, I always had self-esteem issues. I felt inadequate and less than all throughout high school because I was the quintessential geek (had the glasses, braces and awkwardness that goes with it!) even though I thought that I could start fresh by moving to Atlanta for college, those insecurities still lingered and exposed themselves when I entered into a relationship with my first boyfriend while in college. He was my first everything and because I thought that I didn’t deserve because him of his good looks and accomplishments, I ignored the warning signs that he exhibited early on. He had a terrible temper and would get mad at me for the littlest things and would be emotionally manipulative in order to deflect from his is flaws and misgivings. I was young and naive and didn’t realize how he used my inexperience and insecurities to his advantage so instead of speaking up for myself and knowing my worth, I attempted to fix whatever it was that was broken inside of him because I felt responsible for his actions (crazy right!). So when he would get mad at me for getting a flat tire after leaving the movies, (even though he knew the tire was already losing air and the trip to the movies was on my dime) I would accept responsibility and apologize profusely. When he accused me of flirting with another man even though I was having a casual conversation with the husband of one of my friend’s guests, I would get defensive and try to explain myself not realizing that this was his guilt coming out because he was cheating on me. My own brokenness and insecurities blinded me from the truth and when I finally saw the relationship for what it was and decided to leave, the damage had already been done.

In the relationships and situation ships that followed, I excelled at being “Ms. Fix It”. One of the guys I was talking to even nicknamed me “Angel’ because he felt that I was a bright light in his life and someone that he could lean on for support when things weren’t going right. In my last situationship, I desperately tried to get the man I was seeing to open up to me and let me in. He was obviously broken and because I loved him and wanted to see him happy, I settled and put my feelings and needs aside to accommodate him. It became a relationship of convenience because everything was fit around his time and schedule. I felt like an option and an afterthought and the insecurities that continued to linger from all those years ago started to come out and confrontations about why he wasn’t able to fully commit to me went nowhere. This was emotionally draining and went on for years until I finally realized that the only broken person I am responsible for fixing is myself. I cannot control what anyone else says or does but I can control the access I let them have into my life. When I decided to let him go and make myself a priority, a weight was lifted off of me. I was able to start doing the work that was necessary in order to rebuild my life and my self-worth and although I am not where I want to be, I am definitely doing a whole lot better than I used to. Relinquishing the title of “Ms. Fix It” has been liberating and rewarding and unlike the times in the past, I am the one that benefits from putting in the work!

I know that many of you are guilty of being the fixer in your lives. Fixing is not limited to romantic relationships either because so many of us try to fix our family and friends that are broken and we end up losing pieces of ourselves in the process. When your know better, you do better so I hope that anyone who is going through this understands that you should have to break yourself down to build someone else up. Much love to you all and I will be back with a new post next week. Have a great weekend and remember to love and live luxuriously!