Quarantine Diaries #4: How To Stay Positive

Good Afternoon! Its been 2 months since my last post and I told myself that I wasn’t going to let that happen again especially since I have so much free time being at home but I fell into a rut of sorts again that I needed to deal with before I could come back on here and offer words of advice. I never want to act like everything is fine when its not but at the same time, I always want to be the best version of myself whether I am providing services for my clients or providing content on here for my readers. I have had good days and not so good days but after having a discussion with my boyfriend, I was able to realize that changing my mindset and approach even when I can’t change your surroundings or current circumstances is crucial to my mental well-being. It is easier said than done especially in today’s climate but it is necessary for me to stay positive and attract good energy into my life.

A couple of days after my birthday, I took a week off from social media because all of the sadness as a result of the murder of George Floyd hit me hard. I don’t normally post about current events or political news because its an area that I am not well versed in but I did share my sadness, anger and frustration on Instagram and Facebook before I took a break. Even though I was tempted to sign in so I could see the posts that my friends were talking about in our group chats, I realized that being away from the constant news cycle from my Instagram and Facebook feeds helped me to get my mind and spirit back on track. I started reading more and focusing on the goals that I want to accomplish which helped me not focus on what I was missing online so when I signed back on the following week, my spirit didn’t feel as heavy as it had prior to my break. I won’t lie and say that seeing the videos and images of the protests, riots and new cases hasn’t had an effect on me but I know that I am not controlled by my phone, iPad or any other devices and if it gets to be too much, I can turn them off and take that moment for myself to get back on track. I am not saying that you have to take an extended break from it all but it is good to take a break sometimes because seeing all of these things while being in quarantine can emotionally drain you so a break of any kind can help ease those feelings a bit.

The goal is not merely to survive but to thrive and it is okay to not be okay sometimes but know that you will get through whatever it is you are going through because your thoughts and actions can control your perspective on life. Even if you are working from home and your boss/coworkers/employees are driving you crazy, try to see that they are probably feeling the same way about their current situations and are lashing out in other ways which include making your life a bit harder. I am not saying to put up with the stress and drama but the way you approach situations will change the way people respond to you. Everything will not always be peachy keen but by not allowing yourself to get caught up in your emotions or playing victim and being able to see the role you play in everything that happens will allow you to be free of the stress and frustration that is holding you back and have a brighter outlook on life. I am currently working on this as it relates to dealing with my mother who stresses me out to no end but I am finally starting to realize that I don’t have to let any negativity she is dealing with seep into my consciousness and to not take everything she says or does so personally. As I previously stated, everyone is dealing with their issues in their own way and you cannot change their actions but you can change the way you react to them.

In addition to working on my mental/emotional well-being. I want to improve my physical health. While most people have gained weight during quarantine, I’ve lost 15 pounds and while I am happy that I am at my goal weight, I didn’t lose the weight in a healthy way. Anxiety and stress caused me to lose my appetite so I only ate once a day and when I did eat, I consumed junk that’s loaded with empty calories. I told myself that quarantine was going to be the time where I started eating healthy and I did eat healthy for about two days before I went back to my old habits. I want to tone up and eat healthier to maintain my current weight and the only way this will happen is if I stop making excuses and focus on what I want for myself in the future instead of focusing on the present. I have a bad habit of quitting when things don’t come easy to me but nothing that is easy is ever truly worth it whether its dieting, going after professional goals, dating, whatever! Everything and everyone that is truly worth having requires work and instead of being lazy and unmotivated, I gotta get off my ass and do the work. I know exactly what I want and what it takes to get it and pushing myself to be the best version of myself will add value and purpose to my life. Most importantly, I will be able to lead by example which is one of the main reasons why I started Amore Luxe in the first place. As much as I appreciate your support, I want you to call me out when I am bsing so make sure you comment on here or on my IG/FB page and tell me to get my fish together if you see me slipping. I may be angry in the moment but I will love you for it in the end!

So now I am getting back to business not only in my personal life but in my professional one! While I don’t plan on changing much as far as Amore Luxe outside of providing more written/visual content on a consistent basis, Amore Luxe Media will focus solely on providing content writing, copywriting and writing composition services for clients.Although I will no longer provide social media management services, I will provide captions for social media posts that you can use for your product/service along with any other written content you need to promote your business. Email me at angelacherai@gmail.com for a full list of services and pricing information. Thank you for always supporting me and I am determined to make the second half of 2020 better than the first and I want you all to do the same. New post coming either Friday or Monday so stay tuned! Always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

Quarantine Diaries #2: Staying Connected With Family, Friends and Outside World

Good Afternoon! I meant to post this entry on Wednesday but I was sidetracked with my clients’ assignments (btw, if you are in need of writing assistance for essays, research papers, term papers, etc. email angelacherai@gmail.com so I can help you out!) but I definitely wanted to touch on this topic because so many of us are used to communicating with friends, family and even coworkers on a regular basis but social distancing makes communication tougher but not impossible. When talking on the phone isn’t enough, here are a few apps that have made this social distancing this a bit easier!

FaceTime (only for Apple product users)

Since I am a self-proclaimed Apple junkie, (I have an iPhone, iPad, MacBook Air and Apple Watch lol) I love video chatting via FaceTime. I haven’t been able to see my boyfriend in a few weeks but we FaceTime everyday which has made it a bit easier to deal with not seeing him on a regular basis. I also have group FaceTime chats with my friends who I met at my first real job (shoutout to BL crew) which is always entertaining to say the least. FaceTime is the easiest way to keep in contact with those you care about since its free and is included on all Apple products.

Google Hangouts/Zoom/Duo/In The House (can be used regardless of what type of device you have)

For those of you who don’t own any Apple products, (I don’t get it but whatever!) there are apps such as Google Hangouts, Zoom, Duo and one my girl Steffie just put me on to called In the House app. These apps are free and although Zoom has time restrictions for users who choose to use a free account, they allow easy communication with multiple people at once. I haven’t tried In The House yet but I prefer using Zoom with someone who has a premium account! I have been to 2 virtual birthday parties and a girls catchup chat and had sooooo much fun! Make sure your phone/internet connection is strong because these apps can use a lot of bandwidth and you want to be able to see and hear everyone clearly!

Instagram and Facebook live (features are available on all Instagram and Facebook apps)

I don’t usually go live on Instagram of Facebook myself but I love joining live sessions that my friends and influencers/celebs/notable individuals have. Ciara and Russell Wilson went on IG live a couple of weeks ago discussing their first date and what makes their relationship work and I was so enamored with them that I sat through the whole chat which is something that I rarely do lol. My hairstylist Regina Pearl went on IG live last week to discuss how to use the product kits she was selling to maintain your hair during this quarantine (smart idea right!) Various celebrities such as Neyo, Lil Jon and T-Pain have been doing battles that have been nostalgic and enjoyable. I also like to keep up to date with what’s going on in surrounding communities by watching the mayors of nearby cities discuss Coronavirus rules and regulations for their respective cities. Whether I watch Instagram/Facebook live to be entertained, educated or informed, Instagram and Facebook live have been helpful in ensuring that I am kept in the loop and keeps me occupied.

Regardless of whatever method you choose to stay connected, remember that the situation we all have been placed in is only temporary and life will go back to business as usual. This is the best way to eliminate unnecessary direct contact while still maintaining a sense of normalcy. Continue to follow CDC sanitary guidelines as well as the rules set forth by your city and state officials. We will get through this together and if you have any blog topic ideas, suggestions or just want to chat, comment below and I will be sure to get back at you:) Thanks for reading and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

Motivation Monday: The Importance of Self-Awareness

Happy Monday everyone! I actually stopped working on an assignment for one of my client’s to write this post because I wanted to make sure that it was up first thing this morning! I have been doing a lot of self-reflection (as I hope has been seen in my previous posts) and what I realized is that I am slowly but surely getting my life to a point where I am happy, secure and fulfilled as it relates to my relationships both personal and professional, my mental and physical well-being and working on being financially secure. It is definitely a process but I wanted to share how self-awareness was the catalyst that reignited my passion and helped me move forward.

I realized that I have to be my own biggest fan (check out my  post to read more about that journey here) and focusing on being positive and motivating myself to live up to my potential meant that I had to remove toxic energy out of my life whether it came from my own self-doubts and insecurities or from any negative energy around me. My friends and family have been supportive of my goals and have always encouraged me to be the best version of myself and that’s why they are so dope! I haven’t been in a toxic relationship/situationship in over a year and while I am open to dating, I realized that I will never settle again. Looking back on how I allowed men to treat me in the past was a direct reflection of how little I valued myself and after the last situation ended, I promised myself that I would NEVER allow anyone in my life that doesn’t know my worth.  I am still working on the diet aspect so you won’t see any fitness/health posts until I get it together in that area but I’m reaching a point where I can’t just eat anything I want and not gain weight as seen in my post “Thick Girl Blues( Spanx Not Included)” so I am trying to be more conscious of what enters my body. As far as getting how self-awareness has benefitted me from a financial standpoint, I started thinking about  what skills I possess that will help me earn more income. In addition to the social media management, I started focusing more on obtaining clients for the writing composition services part of “Amore Luxe Media” and I have a few consistent clients that have been helpful to earning extra income. I also started working at the daycare again but only on the administrative side of the business and I get to make my own hours which I’ve realized has given me freedom and not let me feel restricted or trapped in a position that doesn’t suit my needs or help me reach  my goals. By having multiple streams of income, I am able to save more so I can create a nest egg that I can use towards getting my own place, a car or investing in my business which wasn’t possible when I was making excuses instead of moves.  I’ve realized that being self-aware is very important because for so long, I was feeling sorry for myself and where I was in life and wanted to make excuses and blame everyone but once I became self-aware, I was able to take responsibility for the choices I’ve made (or didn’t make) that made an impact on where I was in my life at that point.  I’m not where I want to be but I am a lot better than where I used to be and I am so proud of myself for getting this far!

What steps have you taken in order to be more self-aware? Sometimes it can be as simple as writing down your goals and what you need to change internally and externally in order to accomplish those goals. I’d love to read your thoughts so be sure to comment below or hit me up on social media at @amoreluxe_ on Instagram or @Angela Cherai on Facebook. New post coming Wednesday! I hope everyone has an amazing week and makes sure that they love and live luxuriously!

 

Lessons I Wish I Knew Before I Entered My 30’s

Good Morning! 2019 has been a year of self-reflection and making moves based on what makes me happy instead of what I feel is expected of me. I realized that in my 30’s, there is no more room for playing around. I have to get on my grind with no more excuses or apologies. Even though I have no regrets on any past decisions I’ve made, there are things I wish I knew before I entered my 30’s. Read on to see what my Top 3 life lessons are!

Your Journey Is Yours And No One Else’s
Ever since I could remember, I wanted to be part of the entertainment industry. I always assumed I was going to be behind the scenes doing A&R because I was shyer in my younger years and just wanted to work on artist development and help the artist reach his/her full potential. Around 2009, I started blogging on the Blogger platform and sharing my personal experiences as well as my poetry and someone suggested that I turn my blog into a website that goes into further detail about love, sex and relationships. I liked the idea and launched my website (then known as The Angielala Experience) in 2010. It was through the site that I realized that I enjoyed being in front of the camera especially when I was part of discussion panels and hosting events at my college. I  found my true calling and decided that I was going to become the Internet Oprah. I felt that I was on my way when I landed interviews with celebs such as Trey Songz, Chilli and Naturi Naughton as well as working for brands like Kodak while in college but by the time I hit 30, it felt like my career was at a standstill. I wasn’t fulfilled in my personal life or my professional life and it seemed like everyone had it together but me. By the time 2017 came around, I was at my lowest point.  I lost my father 3 years prior and my grandmother in October 2017 so that along with the fact that I felt stuck at my job made me feel like there was nothing to look forward to. After much thought along with the encouragement from my friends, I decided to go to therapy which was one of the best decisions I’ve made. Therapy made me realize that I don’t have to have it together right away and that as long as I was making the steps necessary to bring about change. Most importantly, I’ve learned that comparison is the thief of joy and that by focusing on what others are doing, I lose sight of my overall goals and treat the journey as a race when its a marathon. I am not where I want to be but I am much further than where I was when I was at my lowest point and that’s because I have tunnel vision and am only in competition with myself.

The One You Are Meant To Be With Will Come Along When The Time Is Right

I was never the type of woman who liked to date. When I like someone, I tend to get attached and want to settle down and be in a relationship. I am picky so if I fall for someone, its because I see something in them that makes them stand out. Unfortunately, the bad has outweighed the good especially in my last situationship and instead of letting go and moving on, I stuck around and tried to make things work because I didn’t want to be alone. As I stated previously, I don’t have any regrets but staying in that situation held me back from being the best version of myself. How can I promote confidence when I am in a situation that has me doubting myself and what I deserve? When you know better you do better so instead of trying to convince him or change his mind about us, I finally let him go and decided to use that energy to get my life together. It feels so refreshing to not worry about someone who in all honestly didn’t put that much energy and time into worrying about me. I know now that I can only focus on what I can control and that’s the decisions I make and how I see myself and once I realized that, things started to fall into place. I know that the right man will come along when I am ready to see him and receive him but until then, my physical, mental and emotional well-being are my priority and though I am single, I am not lonely because I am using this time to fall in love with myself!

 

You Have To To Make Self-Care A Priority

When I was in my 20’s I was thin and could eat just about anything without worrying about gaining weight but as soon as 30 hit, I noticed the pounds coming on and by the time I was 32 in 2018 , I had gained a good 15-20 pounds and while I love the extra weight in my boobs and thighs, the stomach pudge has got to go! I haven’t been as consistent with diet and exercise as I should have but I will get it together! Most importantly, I had to take time out to pamper myself like giving myself a mani/pedi and meditating to ease any anxiety and stress. Going to the spa helps as well and I’ve been a few times in the past few years and plan on making more trips. I also want to do yoga but I’m not trying to spend money so I’m considering doing it from home for now. Although these activities are nothing major, they make me feel better about myself and when I feel good about myself, I can conquer the world!

 

What are some life lessons you wished you knew before entering your 30’s? Let me know in the comments section below. New post coming on Friday so stay tuned for that! Until then, always remember to love and live luxuriously!