Forgiveness

img_0318Good Afternoon! Writing 3x a week has been a difficult task for me to say the least! It’s not that I don’t have ideas but I don’t ever want my posts to come across as insincere or contrived. My goal is to always be genuine, honest and direct while writing and I hope that everyone that reads my posts can gain something from it whether its clarity on a specific situation or a sense of relief because they know that they are not alone. I had an idea for a post that I started to write yesterday but then someone from the not so distant past contacted me out of nowhere and inspired me to switch things up in hopes that my story could help/inspire all of you.

The guy that contacted me out of the blue taught me a very valuable lesson.  “MIA” (you will understand the reason for the nickname in a moment) was someone I was introduced to via an online dating site. I was very weary  of joining one but was having bad luck dating people I met by chance so I decided to go a different route. When MIA and I started messaging each other, he seemed too good to be true. He appeared to be honest, forthcoming and genuine, something that was lacking from my earlier situations. Unfortunately, he left as quickly as he came and went missing in action one day (hence the nickname MIA) without warning. I never had anyone go ghost on me and it was not only disappointing but frustrating because you can’t voice your anger/irritation/sadness to someone who isn’t there. It is hard to find closure on a situation that ended out of nowhere with no reasons why it happened. This had never happened to me before so I wasn’t sure of how to deal with it. I was understandably angry but holding that anger in is the same as drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer. Over time, the anger slowly subsided but I still hadn’t found the closure I craved. I couldn’t figure out why until one day I realized that in order for me to find closure, I had to let go of what happened between us in the past and learn to forgive him, not for him but for my peace of mind and well-being.

Forgiveness is easier said than done but I knew that I was capable of it once I stopped trying to figure out his reasons or motives. Instead, I started directing my energy on working on the things that I could control in my life and learning how to follow my intuition . I really didn’t expect to hear from him so when he messaged me yesterday, surprise was an understatement. Normally if I’m still harboring feelings of anger and resentment towards someone, having the person contact me in any way gets me riled up and ruins my mood for the day. When I saw that MIA had messaged me however, after the initial shock wore off ,I didn’t really feel anything at all. I wasn’t upset with him anymore because his actions were a reflection of the kind of person he was and had nothing to do with me. He apologized profusely and although I thought it was a nice gesture, it wasn’t needed because I had already forgiven him months ago and no longer needed closure in the form of an apology or explanation from him. There is a saying that goes, “Always forgive, but never forget, Learn from your mistakes but never regret.” Even though I’ve forgiven MIA, I won’t forget the hurt he caused and I don’t think that we could ever get back to the way things were before. I don’t regret meeting him though because that experience taught me a lot about myself. It made me look at all the choices I have made with men and made me realize that I need to work on becoming the best version of myself instead of seeking validation from someone else. I am single for the first time in a long time but I no longer feel the need to find love because as corny as it may sound, I am learning to love myself and let go of anyone or anything that isn’t worthy of my love and attention. Every lesson is a blessing!

Life is unpredictable so while I like to know what I am going to write beforehand, I don’t know what the future holds so make sure you come back on Monday to see what comes to mind! Also be sure to like/comment/share if you enjoyed this post:) Have a great weekend!

 

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

 

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Changes 

Happy Friday!  I told myself that after I overcame my writer’s block caused by having pity parties,I would be honest, transparent and vulnerable because sometimes baring it all helps with the healing process. I started thinking about what I have gone through in the past 5 years: graduating college, losing my father, relaunching my website and more recently, ending a situationship that was going nowhere. In the midst of all these events that have transpired, I felt myself not being able to talk to my friends about the things going on in my life. I felt disconnected from others and isolated myself because my goals and aspirations weren’t in alignment with theirs and we couldn’t relate to each other anymore. It was driving me crazy and I couldn’t figure out what had changed. Up until this week, I was still stumped but then it hit me. It wasn’t what changed but who and the person that changed was me.

Once I had that epiphany simple but enlightening nonetheless, everything finally started to sense. One of the friendships that stuck out in my mind was the one I have with my best friend Felesha especially given our history. We met through an online Usher group back in 2001 (don’t judge us!) and connected instantly. We could relate to each other on so many levels from dealing with insecurities as far as our looks, “daddy” issues and of course our mutual love for Usher! We seemed to have so much in common so becoming best friends was inevitable. We were young and optimistic but over time, our differences started to overshadow the common experiences that helped our friendship blossom. She was very blunt, borderline rude at times while I could be overly sensitive and tried my best to think before I spoke. She grew up in a big family with many siblings and desired to have children. I only had my brother and the desire to have children decreased over time especially seeing how much work raising a child is after working in a daycare environment for over 7 years. She was content with having a minimalist middle class lifestyle that would be enough for her and her family. I on the other hand craved luxury and opulence and wanted wealth more than starting a family. These are a few of the differences that stood out to me after an emotional conversation we had a few months back after being offended by her tone and language. I wondered what happened to my best friend that I was so close to. Why did I no longer feel like I could talk to her about things going on in my life without feeling judged and criticized because we had different perspectives on how the future should be? Was she always this way but youth and naivety blinded my vision or was it just a matter of time before life and our own unique experiences would leave an imprint that would forever change the course of our friendship? Whatever it was, I knew that things had changed but what I didn’t realize until this epiphany was that I placed a lot of the blame on her instead of admitting that I was also at fault. Ultimately it came down to realizing that we both changed  because change is inevitable. We can’t think and act like the teens we were when we met because there would be no growth or progression. Life experiences mold us into unique individuals and the traits that may be seen as negative in some aspects can also be seen as positive depending on the situation. I realized that I needed to let go of the young girls we once were and work on strengthening the friendship between the women we have become. It’s still a work in progress (see what I did there!) but I have a feeling that our friendship will survive the test of time because we are able to see things as they are and not what we imagined them to be when we were young. That clarity has made me love and appreciate her even more than I did before.

I saw a quote on Facebook that really resonated with me that said “When you begin to truly trust and like yourself, you tap into an immense amount of power.” I am learning to trust myself and love myself and embrace the stronger, outspoken woman who I am becoming. Becoming that woman means accepting harsh truths and understanding that I can’t be the person I used to be. The goals I want to achieve requires me be greater than I used to be while still remaining true to the essence of who I am. I can finally accept that I have indeed changed and can honestly say it is for the better!

Let me know what you think in the comments section below and share your experiences as well! Have a lovely weekend:)

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!

I’m Back!: Life Updates, Facebook Live Chat and more!

Good Afternoon everyone! I know its been over 3 months since my last post but I’ve been working on a masterpiece that needs to take time and develop in order for greatness! I am not talking about a particular object or idea but I realized that for this site and everything else in my life to work, I have to be the best version of myself and I can honestly say that I haven’t been for much of this year. A lot of it was throwing pity parties and feeling sorry for myself because things weren’t working out the way that I expected them to and I just felt like I was trapped in this never-ending cycle of a bad situationship and that no one could truly understand or relate. As a result, I isolated myself from people most of the time. In addition to all of that, I was holding anger towards people who I felt wronged me and envious of those who I felt were doing better than me in life and I was letting all of this negative energy consume me. It got so bad that my anxiety started to build and I would have trouble sleeping at night worrying about everyone and everything except what was most important. At that point, I knew that I had to make a change. Talking about it while I was at the worst of it wouldn’t help because it wasn’t that I didn’t know what my issues were or why I had them. I needed to tune out the doubts that festered within and focus on my life and what I need to do to get to where I want to be instead of letting my past and all those involved deter me from achieving my goals. Life is not a race where only those who are ahead will find success but it is a journey that everyone has to take and travel in their own way at their own time.

If you would have asked me a few years ago where I saw my life once I turned 30, I would have told you that I would be a successful marketing/pr executive, my site would have thousands of monthly views AND I would be a YouTube star on the verge of hitting a million followers (dream big or not at all right!) but life is funny in that way because things don’t always turn out the way you expect them to. In the past, I’d throw yet another pity party and grumble to myself while lurking on social media and wishing I had the career and all the materialistic things to show for it. Now I know that feeling sorry for myself only keeps me stagnant and I will be successful even though I have altered my goals just a bit to align with the modified vision I have. I am not as focused on views or hits but more about creating content that resonates with women so we can create a dialogue and learn from each other. As far as becoming a marketing/pr exec, I would rather focus on being an entrepreneur and build the “Amore Luxe” brand by sharing my experiences through various online avenues (YouTube, Facebook, blog, etc.). The most important part in doing that is to not put so much stress on quantity but quality. If one person can leave “Amore Luxe” feeling more confident and inspired, then I will have done my job and fulfilled my purpose.

I know this is a longer post than usual but I have 3+ months worth of things to say! For those of you who aren’t following me on Facebook, (and if you aren’t, you can add me on here: http://www.facebook.com/angelacherai) I streamed live for the first time in a LONG time last Wednesday. The topic of the stream was “Work In Progress” and I will post it down below so you can view and let me know what you think! Thanks to my producer Lance for making sure everything went smoothly behind the scenes!

Okay if you have read up to this point, BLESS YOU! I just have one more update. I will be live on Facebook again on Wednesday October 26th at 8pm EST. The topic will be “Eliminating Limitations”. I have LOTS to say on this subject and I can’t wait to read everyone’s comments so definitely tune in! If you are not able to log on while I am live, the video will be on my Facebook page as well as on here so you won’t be out of the loop!

As I stated in my Facebook live stream, I am a work in progress and have a long way to go but I am happy that I am in a better place mentally and spiritually than I was at the beginning of 2016. Still working on the physical lol but I will get there…eventually! Thank you all so much for sticking with me through all the craziness and trust me, the best is yet to come!

Until next time,

always remember to love and live life luxuriously!

 

My Healthy Lifestyle Journey: Part Deux

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My goal is to look like this give or take 5 pounds!

Good Morning! I told myself that 2016 would be the year where I would give 100% to everything that I set out to do. Like the saying goes: Go big or go home and that’s what I intend on doing. I told myself that instead of waiting around for jobs to call me back for positions that I really don’t have the passion for, I’d do freelance work and control my schedule by working from home. I decided to do social media consulting from the luxury of mi casa and I work as director at the daycare center for a few hours in the morning and afternoon. I told myself that I would abstain from any sexual activity until I was in a committed relationship and I’ve been celibate for a few months now so I’m proud of myself. After I started getting my mind right and my finances in order, I knew I had to start working on my physical health and I could afford to do so since I have more time and a bit more $$$ in my pocket!

Yesterday marked the first day that I started working out and eating healthier. I started the PiYo Workout DVD from Beachbody. It is a workout that combines Pilates and Yoga techniques and I love both forms of exercise so I figured I’d try it out. The first workout I did yesterday was a bit intense but rewarding so I’m looking forward to the workout challenges that will come. As far as eating goes, I wasn’t really hungry so I didn’t eat much but the little that I did eat was healthy for the most part. I told myself that today would be better and I vow to keep that promise. My goal is to have a leaner and toned figure by my 30th birthday on May 31st. I’m going on a cruise to the Bahamas so my goal is to look right in my bikini!

I’ve realized that I have to think about the result instead of my current situation for me to stay determined and motivated. This goes for my fitness regimen but also applies to all of my personal and professional goals. When all is said and done. I want to live the best life possible and that will only happen if I push myself and stop creating limitations. Anything is possible and I intend for my life to be a shining example of that.

 

I will update you all on my healthy lifestyle journey and plan on showing you guys a before and after picture on my birthday so make sure you keep checking back to see my progress!

 

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!