Anxiety Is Not A Game!

Good Afternoon! The reason why this post was uploaded at noon and not at 9am like normally is because I couldn’t think of anything to write about at first. I thought about what issues am I facing currently and I realized that my anxiety has been creeping back in my life slowly but surely. There are different levels of anxiety and its an ongoing issue that I constantly deal with but I am learning to recognize the warning signs and learning how to better deal with those feelings as they come.

My anxiety usually appears in the form of heart palpitations, worst case scenario thoughts and the inability to be able to completely relax.  It happens as a result of an issue that feels out of my control or one that could have been prevented if I would have done something differently.  The anxiety began this weekend when I was out at a party and I accidentally broke something. Although the object that I broke appeared to be fixed, I was still worried about something happening where my friend would get in trouble or I would have to pay an exorbitant amount of money to repair/replace the object even though a high amount was unlikely. The night went south after that and between worrying about that and being concerned for the well-being of someone else close to me, I was stressed out all weekend. The stress lasted into Monday and yesterday where I was annoyed about not receiving payment from one of my clients for something I worked on for him and wanted to avoid confrontation although I was not at fault and feeling overwhelmed with deadlines for other clients. Since my anxiety only appeared to worsen throughout the day, I decided to disconnect from social media yesterday evening and went to sleep after watching my tv shows. Today I woke up still feeling anxious so I decided to start putting everything into perspective. If I end up having to pay for the broken object, I will work out a payment plan that won’t mess me up financially. I will be direct with all of my clients from now on regarding payment and not agree to work on projects with those who have a hard time following. I will continue to stick to deadlines but I will create a schedule that will allow me to pace myself and allow me to not feel so overwhelmed. Even though my anxiety will most likely pop up again in the future, I know that I can alleviate the symptoms by changing my thought process, decatastrophizing, and realizing that no matter what the outcome is, its not the end of the world even though my anxiety wants to convince me otherwise!

How do you deal with anxiety?  Let me know your tips in the comments. Still working on ideas for the next “Confidence Is…” Profile so if you or someone you know is the perfect example of confidence and strength in the face of adversity, email me at angelacherai@gmail.com so I can interview them! My next post will be up on Friday but until then, always be sure to love and live luxuriously!

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Motivation Monday: Best Case Scenario

Good Morning! The topic of today’s post came to me kind of suddenly but not really because it’s been on my mind for awhile now but I wasn’t sure how to articulate my thoughts into a comprehensible post. I had a long phone chat with my friend Kimmy over the weekend (hey girl!) and we were talking about how our thoughts and words carry so much weight and that you have to be careful yet intentional with how you think and what you say. Thoughts and words have power and you attract what you put out into the world (law of attraction and all of that!) so be mindful of what you say and do. I realize that even though I may say I want things to be a certain way, my thoughts do not match my words and as a result, the actions behind those words do not usually come to fruition. I always thought that it was solely based on my lack of confidence at times but after reflecting on our conversation as well as a previous conversation with my therapist, I finally figured out what the issue was that was holding me back from greatness and what needed to change in order to let go and move forward.

After talking to my therapist a few weeks back, I realized that I have a tendency to ‘catastrophize’ everything. By catastrophize, I mean that I always think about the worst things that can happen in every situation. If I go on a job interview, I think “What if I can’t demonstrate that I am the ideal candidate for the position?” or “What if I appear to be incompetent?” I’ve done in in the past when dating especially when things didn’t go my way. I’d think to myself, “What if he leaves as a result of our argument?” I always think about the ‘worst case scenario’ and that pessimism seems to linger in various parts of my life. I realize that my mother is the queen of catastrophizing and even though I know that many disappointing moments in her life have led her to always think the worst about people and situations, I also feel that her negative thoughts attract negative emotions and as a result, it is a never ending cycle of dread and fear. Some of those behaviors have trickled down to me and although I am not as pessimistic as my mother, I know that when bad things do happen, I have a tendency to let them consume me instead of dealing with my emotions in that moment but allowing them to pass and learn from what mistakes have occurred. My biggest fears are my fear of failure and fear of death and although I cannot control the latter, I can deal with my fear of failure by changing my perspective, Instead of seeing a failed job interview as a failure or loss, I can use the situation as a learning experience on what not to do. Instead of being fearful of losing someone I really care about based off of an argument, I should focus on the honesty of my words and never to minimize my thoughts or feelings even if it means losing someone in the process. If we aren’t able to get past the argument, that in itself should tell me all that I need to know. In other words, instead of thinking about the ‘worst case scenario’, I needed to shift my thinking to the ‘best case scenario’ and let my actions follow suit.

By thinking about the ‘best case scenario’, I will enter a situation with a positive mindset because I will be able to see the bright side of any outcome and use it to push me closer to my goals instead of seeing the experience as another way of holding me back. There are many things that are out of my control but I can control the way I view the situation and most importantly, how I respond to it. I’m going to try this ‘Best Case Scenario’ mindset approach and I will be sure to let you  know how it goes. I believe that it’s definitely going to improve my life going forward 😉 (see what I did there!)

What do you do to ‘decatastrophize’ a situation? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this so leave them in the comments below or on my social media (IG:@amoreluxe_ FB: Angela Cherai) so I can learn a few things from you guys! My next post should be up on Wednesday but if not then, I’ll definitely have something for you on Friday. I hope everyone has an amazing week and until the next time, always remember to love and live luxuriously!

Random Thoughts Part I

Good Morning! I know that I was supposed to post on Wednesday but I literally could not think of anything to write about. Between work and my clients for my side hustle, I was mentally drained. I feel like I’m playing catch up after being stagnant for so long and it finally caught up with me. I know I was adamant about not having any excuses but I also don’t want to appear as if I am going back to my old ways especially after finally finding my groove. After going through my list of topics that were previously written and not feeling inspired, I figured I would just discuss exactly what is going on with me. I usually do this in the form of a voice note but since I figured that being completely transparent is what I promised I would do, why not fill my readers in with what’s going on in this crazy mind of mine and just maybe someone out there can relate! Here goes!

I am back at the daycare center as the director. My biggest fear with going back was feeling how I felt back at the end of 2017 right before I decided to leave. I felt stuck and stagnant in a place that didn’t fulfill me and although the job was fairly easy and convenient, I wanted a change. After leaving, the feeling of dread and depression temporarily lifted but because I didn’t put in the effort to find a new job after leaving my old one, I started feeling stuck again but I also was broke which made a bad situation even worse. After over a year of feeling blah and doing nothing about it, this past summer, the spark of inspiration that I was craving came in the form of a podcast that my friend DJ and I started. Working on the podcast gave me motivation to come back to the site and to get my life back on track. When I made the decision to live my best life, things started falling into place. I started gaining more clients for my writing composition services and the director job was offered to me again but I was able to choose my own hours and work on my own terms which gave me the freedom I needed to do other things. I am still looking for something that is more fulfilling and that pays better but for now, the daycare and my side hustle are helping me get my finances and my life back on track.

As far as my personal life is concerned, the last guy I was seeing went MIA and I think its because he’s got a baby on the way. Since we have history and had gotten to a point where we were being really open with each other, I thought that things would be different this time around but if the baby story is true, then his distance makes sense. I am not even mad at him (which is really big for me because he’s pissed me off in the past by doing way less) but I am disappointed in the way that things have gone down and the fact that we haven’t spoken and regardless of whatever is going on, I thought our friendship would always remain intact. Now I am not so sure but instead of stressing about it, I’m letting go because the truth will come to light eventually and I’ll know everything I need to know when it does. Needless to say, I’ve decided to invest my time and energy into other areas of my life instead of worrying about finding the one. I’ve been dabbling in the online dating sites (including the Facebook Dating app which hasn’t shown any real prospects so far) but mainly out of boredom and curiosity. I am definitely not going back to anyone in my past so the next man that comes in my life will be someone completely new. There is someone I am interested in but I’m not ready for a man like him in my life and he is end game but until then, I am going to live my best(solo) life and have hella fun while doing it:)

Yup I think that about covers it! Not sure what next week’s posts will be about but I’ll come up with something! If you have any topics you want me to discuss, hit me up on IG @amoreluxe_ and let me know! Until then, have an amazing weekend and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

Motivation Monday: The Importance of Self-Awareness

Happy Monday everyone! I actually stopped working on an assignment for one of my client’s to write this post because I wanted to make sure that it was up first thing this morning! I have been doing a lot of self-reflection (as I hope has been seen in my previous posts) and what I realized is that I am slowly but surely getting my life to a point where I am happy, secure and fulfilled as it relates to my relationships both personal and professional, my mental and physical well-being and working on being financially secure. It is definitely a process but I wanted to share how self-awareness was the catalyst that reignited my passion and helped me move forward.

I realized that I have to be my own biggest fan (check out my  post to read more about that journey here) and focusing on being positive and motivating myself to live up to my potential meant that I had to remove toxic energy out of my life whether it came from my own self-doubts and insecurities or from any negative energy around me. My friends and family have been supportive of my goals and have always encouraged me to be the best version of myself and that’s why they are so dope! I haven’t been in a toxic relationship/situationship in over a year and while I am open to dating, I realized that I will never settle again. Looking back on how I allowed men to treat me in the past was a direct reflection of how little I valued myself and after the last situation ended, I promised myself that I would NEVER allow anyone in my life that doesn’t know my worth.  I am still working on the diet aspect so you won’t see any fitness/health posts until I get it together in that area but I’m reaching a point where I can’t just eat anything I want and not gain weight as seen in my post “Thick Girl Blues( Spanx Not Included)” so I am trying to be more conscious of what enters my body. As far as getting how self-awareness has benefitted me from a financial standpoint, I started thinking about  what skills I possess that will help me earn more income. In addition to the social media management, I started focusing more on obtaining clients for the writing composition services part of “Amore Luxe Media” and I have a few consistent clients that have been helpful to earning extra income. I also started working at the daycare again but only on the administrative side of the business and I get to make my own hours which I’ve realized has given me freedom and not let me feel restricted or trapped in a position that doesn’t suit my needs or help me reach  my goals. By having multiple streams of income, I am able to save more so I can create a nest egg that I can use towards getting my own place, a car or investing in my business which wasn’t possible when I was making excuses instead of moves.  I’ve realized that being self-aware is very important because for so long, I was feeling sorry for myself and where I was in life and wanted to make excuses and blame everyone but once I became self-aware, I was able to take responsibility for the choices I’ve made (or didn’t make) that made an impact on where I was in my life at that point.  I’m not where I want to be but I am a lot better than where I used to be and I am so proud of myself for getting this far!

What steps have you taken in order to be more self-aware? Sometimes it can be as simple as writing down your goals and what you need to change internally and externally in order to accomplish those goals. I’d love to read your thoughts so be sure to comment below or hit me up on social media at @amoreluxe_ on Instagram or @Angela Cherai on Facebook. New post coming Wednesday! I hope everyone has an amazing week and makes sure that they love and live luxuriously!