Fearless Friday: My Blind Dating Experience

Good Morning! I had another idea for a post that I plan on discussing in the future but as soon as I saw the video of a project I was involved in on YouTube, everything changed! Last summer, I decided to step outside of my comfort zone (see what I did there!) and go out on a blind date. Simone and her co-producers created a dating docuseries called “Date to Date” and interviewed a group of people (including myself) in their 20’s and 30’s in the NYC area and asked about our dating preferences. After recording the information, they matched us up with people who they felt fit the desired traits that we mentioned previously and set up 2 dates with the chosen person in hopes that we would get to know each other a bit better and possibly connect on a deeper level. And they would be there to capture it all on film! I was matched with a really sweet guy named Wesley. Our first date consisted of us talking and creating our own salads. Simple enough right! We discussed our dream vacation spots, qualities we like in the opposite sex and a bit about our past relationships. You can view highlights from our date by watching the episode below (I have it cued to where my part starts bur I encourage you to watch the entire episode because its really good!)

 

I know you guys want to know what happened after our date and if I made a love connection. If you know me personally, you already know the deal but if you don’t you can check out today’s posts on my IG (@amoreluxe_) and FB (Angela Cherai) to find out the answer;) Special thanks to Simone, Essence and Malcolm of For Art’s Sake 125 for this interesting experience! New post coming Monday so be on the lookout for that! Until then, have an amazing weekend and be sure to love and live luxuriously.

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Fearless Friday: What I Learned From Therapy

After receiving such great feedback on my last post, (click here if you haven’t read that post) I decided that transparency is my new thing. With that being said, I wanted to touch on something that I spoke about briefly in past posts but feel that this topic deserves its own post. I have been going to therapy on and off for 2 years and I feel that I have benefitted greatly from my sessions. It hasn’t always been easy and at one point I was hesitant to even admit that I needed help but I am at a point in my life where in order for me to become the best version of myself, I can’t be afraid of what others think or feel about the decisions I make that are in my best interest.

I started going to therapy 3 weeks after my grandmother passed away in 2017 and immediately questioned the decision. Even though I was depressed, I wasn’t suicidal or anything like that so why couldn’t I get out of the funk I was in? After many discussions with the therapist, it soon became clear to me that I was living in a state of constant fear and could not think about the future because I was too hung up on what happened in the past and how I was handling (or not handling) my emotions and how I responded to things out of my control. I always assumed that therapists were there to tell their patients what they should do but what I realized is that they are more like sounding boards where they listen to what you have to say and interject with questions that make you view the situation from different perspectives but they should never force any of their personal feelings on you. I’ve dealt with anxiety regarding my family, worries about relationships that have gone wrong and how I contributed to them and my fear of failure and feeling stuck and complacent in life instead of living it to the fullest.  I’ve had 3 therapists and with the exception of the second therapist, I have felt that I was being heard and that my feelings were valid which means a lot when you feel isolated from others because of the issues that your are grappling with. It’s okay not to be okay but don’t give up on yourself.

I feel like therapy is medicine for my mind and soul. Talking to an objective source who doesn’t know me personally outside of what I choose to share is comforting and has been helpful in easing my anxiety because I am able to share the things that I am stressed or anxious about without worrying about anyone judging me. It is medicine for my soul because every time I leave therapy, I feel lighter as if a weight has been taken off of my shoulders. Even if I leave without knowing exactly how I am going to confront an issue that I may be dealing with, I know that I am capable of handling it and just about anything else that comes my way. I don’t see myself going to therapy forever but it is an essential part of my life at this point especially since I am in a transitional period and being able to completely let go for those 45 mins each Tuesday has helped me to stay focused on my goals for the week. I hope that the stigma that’s attached to therapy can be eliminated in time especially within the African American community. Getting help from a qualified outside source for any issues you may be dealing with should not be perceived as weakness but strength because you know that you can be better and do better in life with a little assistance along the way.

How do you feel about therapy? What are your experiences if you’ve been to therapy before? Let me know in the comments! Side note: Make sure you subscribe to my new podcast with my homie DJ called “Weekend Friendz”. Click here to listen and subscribe! New post coming Monday but until then, always be sure to love and live luxuriously!

 

Don’t Be Afraid To Speak Your Mind

Good Morning! As I have stated previously, I want this site to be a safe space where we all can share our thoughts and feelings without judgment. I never want anyone to feel like they can’t be their authentic self because I know what it feels like to hold back and not feel as if I was being true to who I was and what I believed in. Having confidence wasn’t enough to lead a life with conviction and purpose. In order to be successful and live my life on my terms, I had to speak my mind and follow through with my actions.

One situation that comes to mind when I regretted not speaking up for myself happened when I was 20. I was very shy and passive and while I was on a trip to LA with a group of girls, we went to an expensive restaurant which had a huge bill that we all had to split. I put the amount that I was supposed to put in but was accused of not paying the right amount but instead of speaking up for myself, I caved in and added an additional amount to my bill. I was mad at myself after because I let peer pressure and the fear of confrontation silence my voice which a person should never do. I was young and naive in many ways but that incident taught me a lesson. If I don’t speak up for what I feel is right, I will be the one who suffers. That was a turning point for me and even though it took time for me to feel comfortable to speak my mind, I never put myself  in a situation where I allowed others to speak for me ever again.

I still try to avoid confrontation but if there is an issue that is weighing heavily on my mind/heart, I don’t hesitate to speak up regardless of what the consequences will be. There is a quote that goes “It’s not what they call you, it’s what you answer to” and any inaction or deterrence on your part speaks volumes about your character. Now I am not saying to start arguments or be difficult or disagreeable just because but if you really feel strongly about something and want to make it right, do not hesitate to voice your opinion on what you feel is right. This is something I have to remind myself of periodically when I feel wronged and I always try my best to be rational and logical about a situation and not base my actions solely off of emotion. Gotta find that balance!

Has there been a point in your life where you were afraid to speak up for what you wanted or believed in? If so, what did you do to change things around? Let me know in the comments! I’ll be back on Monday but until then, have a great weekend and be sure to love and live luxuriously!

Spotlight on Black Businesses: Day 3

Good Morning! Today is the third and final day of my Spotlight Series on Black Businesses. I am so happy at the feedback that I have received for the previous 2 days and I know my friends/fellow entrepreneurs appreciate the support. I am going to highlight 2 businesses/endeavors that I am a part of as well as one that has been instrumental in helping me build my brand. Read on to find out more!

Sionne (@designedonthebayou) 

Sionne aka Siki and I became connected through a mutual friend (she knows exactly who I’m referring to lol) and I love her passion, energy and spirit. Her graphic design skills are impeccable (as seen in the Weekend Friendz logo on my t-shirt below!) and her creativity knows no bounds. Her company, Designed On The Bayou provides customers with high quality logos, business cards, invitations, flyers, Snapchat Geo Filters and so much more. She has helped me immensely as it relates to building my brand and she can help you as well so make sure you hit her up on IG @designedonthebayou for more information. Siki, I am so in awe of your talent and I know that this is just the beginning for you. Thank you for always coming through for me and believing in my vision for my brand. Hope we get to finally meet soon :)Love ya!

DJ & Angela Cherai (@weekendfriendz) 

Weekend Friendz is the brainchild of my homie DJ who I have known since we were 8! DJ was inspired by our random conversations about entertainment, politics, relationships and life in general and wanted to create a podcast that other people our age could relate to. Even though we are partners, I have to give credit where credit is due and this podcast would be nonexistent without him because I needed that extra push from him to take that leap into the podcast world. You can listen to us every Friday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Play and just about anywhere you listen to podcasts. DJ, I am so happy that we decided to do this podcast after years of talking about it with no action lol…Weekend Friendz has given me the motivation and passion that I thought was lost forever so thanks for not giving up on your vision because it has created a new beginning for me. Can’t wait to see where Weekend Friendz takes us. Love ya!

Angela Cherai (@amoreluxe_)

Last but not least, its self-promotion at its finest time! Amore Luxe was a passion of mine that I left on the back burner because of personal issues that I was dealing with. I thought I had to have all the answers but after giving myself time to heal and grow, I realized that no one is perfect and that as long as I continue to grind and follow my dreams, the answers will come eventually. I plan on posting inspiring and thought provoking content while sharing my personal journey and progress.  As far as Amore Luxe Media, I haven’t been advertising as much as I should but I provide social media management/marketing/writing composition assistance services.  If you or someone you know is in need of marketing/writing composition services, email angelacherai@gmail.com for more a detailed list of services and pricing information. I want to thank everyone who has supported me from Day 1. Your kind words, positive affirmations and constructive critiques have not been in vain and I am dedicated to bringing quality content that will add to your life! Love you all!

 

My new mantra is to make moves not announcements so I won’t even tease about the things I have in store but just know that more inspiring, motivating content is on the way. In the meantime, be sure to like/comment/share my Spotlight Post Series. Until next week, always remember to love and live luxuriously!