Eliminating Negative Energy

Good Morning! Still working on this consistent posting thing lol  but I do have something that I wanna talk about that has weighed on my mind for the past few days that I wanted to share with you guys. As I was scrolling through my Instagram feed, I stopped on a post by Cardi B of Love and Hip Hop fame (I think her posts are so entertaining so don’t judge me!) and she posted a pic of herself in a unique outfit and most of the comments were giving her praise posting things like:

girl you are working it!

beautiful!

heart emoji

big smiley emoji

kiss emoji

You get the picture!

Unfortunately, one person decided to write a comment that had nothing to do with the actual picture but choosing to comment instead on a rumor going around about her dumping a rapper she’s been seeing because he was going to charge her to be featured on a song of hers. Never mind that the rumor wasn’t true but it must have upset her so much that this was the ONLY comment that she replied to. Out of hundreds of positive comments/praise,  she chose to respond to the ONE person that brought negativity to her page and responded with anger saying something like:

“B-word” you don’t know what you’re talking about!

In that moment, I realized that many of us do the same thing on and offline and what starts out as being something positive and uplifting has turned into anger or resentment that weighs the soul down.

Instead of focusing on the “likes” or positive things happening in our lives, we choose to focus and respond to the negative; who doesn’t like us or why we don’t have this or that and dwelling on all the negative circumstances draws more negative energy our way.  You are what  you attract and instead of being concerned with that type of energy in the form of unnecessary criticism, harsh judgment or opinions that do not add to your life, focus on the people and things that make you happy and bring joy to  your day. Now I am not saying that there needs to be people who compliment you 24/7 to feed your ego or confidence but being around people who see the best in you and want the best for you is the easiest way to attract the things you want. If there are people in your life that focus more on the negative than the positive, you  may need to reevaluate these connections and find others that are like-minded and will help you in your journey to being the best version of  yourself. It is easier said than done but your peace of mind will thank you later for it;)

I’m working on being the best version of myself this summer by starting a 45 day fitness journey with a few of my friends, reading/listening to inspirational and motivational books/speeches, participating in a 90 day workshop with a group of inspiring and motivated women who also want to work on themselves and doing a bit of traveling for fun and celebration! Needless to say, I will have a lot to discuss in upcoming posts so make sure you always come back here to see what I am up to! Look forward to sharing my journey with you this summer and beyond!

Take care and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

 

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Vulnerable

Good Morning! It’s been 4 months since my last post and there’s a really good reason for that…I just didn’t want to post for the sake of posting but actually post something when I was inspired. I have been vlogging a bit on Instagram and Snapchat but I wanted to wait until I knew exactly what I wanted to write about…this is more like a venting session so bear with me!

My biggest goal with this site has also been my biggest fear. I strive to be transparent and vulnerable with my readers/viewers but in doing that, I’ve opened up the door to be judged and criticized by others but most importantly, this process has made me overly critical of myself. I turned 31 last week and I never thought that my life would end up this way. I am working at a job which isn’t fulfilling my passion or purpose( or pockets for that matter lol), I am not in a committed relationship and wasted the majority of my 20’s in dead-end relationships, I am not where I want to be mentally, physically or spiritually and most of 2015 and part of 2016 was trying  to come to grips with the fact that life threw me a few curveballs and I didn’t handle them as swiftly as I think I should have and now I’m dealing with the consequences. I know that everyone has their turning point where they decide to make a change in their lives and I realize that I’ve had turning points for different facets of my life. At the end of 2015, I told myself that I wouldn’t have sex unless I was in a committed relationship and I’ve kept that promise no matter how tempting it may have been to fall back into my old ways of doing what was expected and being passive in a relationship. In 2016, I told myself that I would be more financially responsible and pay off my loans and bills. Now I am in 2017 and I am still unattached and still in debt and I wanted to get my life together before I started blogging again so I could be a good example of what being the best version of yourself gets you. It took me a minute to realize that being the best version of myself means that I have to be honest with myself and understand that no one is perfect. I know that to get to where I want to be in all aspects of my life, I have to put it all out there and show the ugliness and bare my soul sort to speak to find the beauty, love and happiness I desire.  Being uncomfortable means that I am allowing myself to accept that I need to change situations and circumstances in my life and gets me out of being in denial or accepting that this is the way that things will be. I have always stated that I am a work in progress but for the first time in a long time, I do not have an issue with putting myself out there when I stumble and fall because I know that in the end, I will have everything that I’ve been waiting for.

With all that being said, I am still trying to figure out the exact vision for “Amore Luxe”.  It started out as a love/sex/relationships website under a different name (If you have been here since “The Angielala Experience”, thank you for your support!) then when I renamed the site “Amore Luxe”, I decided switch my direction and discuss confidence related issues. At this point,  I don’t want to have any restrictions on the topics I talk about but I do want to discuss things that I am passionate about whether it be dating outside my race (which I have attempted in the past and am open to doing again!) or the latest Trey Songz album, (which has turned out to be one of my faves especially after seeing him perform the songs live!) I don’t want to be restricted because I strayed away from the main theme of the site was so as of now, “Amore Luxe will be about love, life and everything in between! I plan on revamping the site in the coming months so be patient with me cause I am an impulsive person by nature which isn’t always good because when I am adamant about things, I tend to rush. When you want to create something meaningful and lasting, these things take time so I wanna pace myself this go around but I promise you will love the result!  Any comments, suggestions or critiques are always welcome and if you don’t feel like sharing publicly in the comments section below, feel free to email me at angelacherai@amoreluxe.com 🙂 I even know what my next post will be about so stay tuned for that topic!

Thanks for reading all of that lol and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

 

 

 

The 2017 Switch Up!

2017Happy Holidays everyone! I wanted to make 1 last post for 2016 before I decided to introduce a few of the changes I have in store for 2017. A lot of my friends and followers have been asking me why the posts on the site have been few and far in between and I would tell them that I was lacking inspiration which was true but there was more behind that statement.

Even though the issue was that I couldn’t think of anything to write about, I really didn’t want to write period. I feel that I can articulate myself better when I am talking to others whether it be through videos or face to face conversations. Writing is just something that I felt obligated to do because I have a blog site and written content is what’s expected so I tried to deliver to the best of my ability. The issue with that was that I wasn’t satisfied with most of my posts. I wanted to get back to doing what I love which is the videos/public speaking/discussions/hosting part of my life. Now my original issue which was the lack of inspiration comes into play.

I feel like talking about myself has become redundant and boring especially since I am still trying to figure a lot of things out and although so many people (including myself) like celeb gossip blogs, that was never the direction I wanted to go in with “Amore Luxe” so I kept wracking my brain trying to figure out what I could talk about that would be entertaining and intriguing without compromising my vision and I think I’ve finally got it! Stay tuned to see what I’ve come up with when I make my first post of 2017 next week 😉 Continue reading

#MotivationMonday: Let go of what you cannot change

36e661fbc9b8f77232c494a807681139Good Afternoon! I know I haven’t posted in a week and to be honest, I didn’t feel up to it. I’ve been really bummed out lately and up until today, my anxiety was going into overdrive. I had a hard time falling asleep and when I finally did, I kept having weird dreams that I’m still trying to decipher. On top of all that, my chest felt tight and I knew I was worried/anxious but I wasn’t sure why. It took spending time with my grandmother yesterday for the light bulb to go off in my head and the conversation we had helped me get to the root of my anxiety which helped me to move forward.

My grandmother has soooooo many pictures from the time she graduated high school until now and as I mentioned in an earlier post “Photograph”, (https://amoreluxe.com/2016/10/12/photograph/) I love looking at them and hearing all the stories behind the pictures. As we came across a picture of my father who passed in 2014, we both started feeling melancholy and my grandma said “A mother isn’t supposed to outlive her child” and how she usually understands that everything happens for a reason but my father’s passing was something that she could never fully comprehend. I told her that some things just aren’t meant to be understood but that you have to accept it and find peace in knowing that things happen the way they are supposed to. Call it destiny, fate or whatever but what is meant to be will be. In that moment, I realized that most of my anxiety stemmed from the fact that I was worried about things that I could not change or control. I would ask myself questions like “Why did I slack off in my late teens-early 20’s at the first college I attended?” “Why did I waste so much time being involved with men who weren’t ready to commit?” and the one that I kept wasting energy on was “Why does it feel like I’m so behind in life compared to everyone else?” The answer to all of my questions was the same: Since it cannot be changed, I need to find peace with it and move on.  I can’t change the past so why do I continue to focus on the mistakes I’ve made as it relates to school or relationships?  I can only focus on the present and future and learn from those mistakes to make better choices that will bring happiness and success in my life. When it comes to worrying about others, it’s pointless because as I’ve stated many times before, everyone has their own journey and comparing my life to others doesn’t help me in my journey especially since I may not know what they went through to get to where they are today. Everyone has their own story and while I encourage others to go after their goals and dreams and live up to their potential, I only have control over my life and I need to direct my thoughts and energy on getting to where I want to be and look at positive examples and use that to fuel my motivation instead of allowing it to drain the passion that burns within me. I would say the “Serenity Prayer” every night before going to bed but last night was the first time in a long time that I said it and believed in the words I whispered to myself. For those of you who don’t know the “Serenity Prayer”, here it goes:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.

I know that the battle within myself isn’t  over yet but I am in a better mental space today and I am glad I am able to share all the craziness inside this head of mine with you! Let me know what you think and like/share this post if you were able to learn something from it 🙂 Check back on Wednesday for my next post which will probably be about what helps me to de-stress because I’ve tried any and everything to relax and stay focused so stay tuned for that!

 

Much love to you all and always remember to love and live luxuriously!