YouTube Rant: Emotional Manipulation and Lack of Self-Respect

Good Morning! I decided that I wanted to do a vlog of sorts today and was inspired by the conversations I overheard from a couple who were having relationship issues. I found out a lot of information from the 2 conversations (some may say TMI because they were shouting all of their personal business freely for the world to hear lol) but most importantly, I started thinking about the honest and heartfelt advice I’d want to hear if I was in a similar position. I know it is easy to comment from the outside looking it but sometimes it takes an outside, objective perspective to see things for what they really are instead of what you imagined they would be. Watch the video below to find out the backstory behind my rant and my thoughts on what happened.

Sound off in the comments below because I’d really love to hear everyone’s take on this situation. If you have any ideas for topics I should discuss in future rants, let me know! I’ll be back on Wednesday with another post. I hope everyone has an amazing week and always be sure to love and live luxuriously!

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Fearless Friday: My Blind Dating Experience

Good Morning! I had another idea for a post that I plan on discussing in the future but as soon as I saw the video of a project I was involved in on YouTube, everything changed! Last summer, I decided to step outside of my comfort zone (see what I did there!) and go out on a blind date. Simone and her co-producers created a dating docuseries called “Date to Date” and interviewed a group of people (including myself) in their 20’s and 30’s in the NYC area and asked about our dating preferences. After recording the information, they matched us up with people who they felt fit the desired traits that we mentioned previously and set up 2 dates with the chosen person in hopes that we would get to know each other a bit better and possibly connect on a deeper level. And they would be there to capture it all on film! I was matched with a really sweet guy named Wesley. Our first date consisted of us talking and creating our own salads. Simple enough right! We discussed our dream vacation spots, qualities we like in the opposite sex and a bit about our past relationships. You can view highlights from our date by watching the episode below (I have it cued to where my part starts bur I encourage you to watch the entire episode because its really good!)

 

I know you guys want to know what happened after our date and if I made a love connection. If you know me personally, you already know the deal but if you don’t you can check out today’s posts on my IG (@amoreluxe_) and FB (Angela Cherai) to find out the answer;) Special thanks to Simone, Essence and Malcolm of For Art’s Sake 125 for this interesting experience! New post coming Monday so be on the lookout for that! Until then, have an amazing weekend and be sure to love and live luxuriously.

Confidence Is Series Episode 1: Andrea Leilani

Good Morning! When I was thinking about what I wanted “Amore Luxe” to become after changing the name and rebranding back in 2014, I thought about all of the things that I struggled with growing up and how those issues affected me into adulthood. Self-confidence is something that I always had an issue with especially when if felt like everyone else had it all together. Social media only added to my insecurities especially when so many of us only show the good side of our lives and leaving the pain, frustration and doubt out. I wanted to create a “safe space” where women could talk freely about what was going on in their lives without judgment and I would be transparent about my journey and process to becoming the best version of myself. It took some time to figure out exactly how I wanted to implement all of the ideas in my head (5 long years to be exact) but I finally got it together! One of the ideas was what I call “Confidence Is…” Series where I interview women who have overcome various adversities both seen and unseen to become the strong, powerful ladies we see today. These women would share their stories and what they had to go through in order to get to a place where they were happy with who they are regardless of the opinions of others. I had 3 women in mind that I wanted to start this series off with and I am so happy that I was able to get one of them for the first episode which was released on YouTube in June. Andrea Leilani is an amazing woman who struggled with her identity and confidence but once she decided to be true to herself and who she was, she was able to find happiness and radiate positivity and light to others.

You can view my interview with Andrea Leilani by clicking below and be sure to like/comment/share. Working on getting the 2nd episode together as we speak so be on the lookout for that. If someone you know would has an interesting/unique story on how they were able to become the best version of themselves, email me at angelacherai@gmail.com so I can share their story! Hope everyone has an amazing week and until next time, always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

Is Social Media Helpful or Harmful When It Comes To Dating?

Good Morning! I know I said I was going to post on Monday but I have had the hardest time trying to think of things to write. Same ish different day basically but I was talking to my therapist about needing things to talk about and she suggested that I discuss how social media has affected dating in modern times. As a social media marketer, I know how important social media is as far as promoting businesses and services as well as staying connected to family and friends that you may not get to see often. As far as dating goes though, I never thought about the effect it may have on relationships especially since the last guy I was seeing didn’t have any social media pages (or so he says lol) so that was never an issue for me. I started thinking about the pros and cons of social media as it relates to dating and while social media has been beneficial in building friendships and professional relationships, I think it has done more harm than good on the dating front.  I’ve seen my fair share of drama on social media and sad to say, the majority of the drama was relationship related.

One of the reasons why I think social media has been a hinderance on dating is because you lose a lot of the excitement of getting to know someone without checking their Instagram or Facebook page to get a feel of who they are. I feel that social media isn’t a true reflection of a person but instead, a calculated and curated image of how he or she wants to be perceived. Perception doesn’t always equal reality so instead of trying to decipher what certain quotes mean or falling in lust over a heavily filtered image, step away from your computer or phone and allow yourself to get to know someone without any preconceived notions based on their profiles.

Another problem with dating while on social media is that many people use likes, comments and statuses as validation. If a guy/girl doesn’t change their relationship status publicly or post pics on social media of them being in a relationship, suddenly there’s an issue because the other person is looking for social media acceptance and/or approval. Your relationship isn’t “real” unless everyone knows about it. Facebook/Instagram/Twitter should not be the deciding factor on whether your love is real or feelings are mutual. Now I’m not saying that it’s okay for your significant other to intentionally not post pics or follow you because he/she doesn’t want anyone to know that they are involved but it should be a natural progression and based on the person’s comfort level. There are people who aren’t into posting their daily lives on social media because it is outside their comfort zone and that should be respected. Navigating the social media space can be tricky but how a relationship should be shared should be decided between two people not the world-wide web.

The biggest issue I have with social media and dating is the disconnect that comes when people become dependent on social media interactions instead of face to face connections. Personally, I don’t want Facebook messages or dms on Instagram to become a main form of communication when getting to know someone. If you are interested in me, show it by asking me for my number and talking to me on the phone so we can set up a real date. Liking my pics or commenting with heart emojis don’t mean as much as sending flowers and notes. It’s the thought and effort that counts and social media interactions require little thought and effort but actions speak volumes. Even if the connection may start online, the face to face interactions are what will build and strengthen the connection that will hopefully last beyond the confines of cyberspace.

I don’t know of any instances where relationships built off of social media input and suggestions have stood the test of time but I could be wrong. I just don’t think that creating a potential reality show or melodrama for your social media followers is the way to longevity in a relationship. There should be balance and everyone including myself( in my next relationship!) have to find that social media/real-life balance that works for them and their relationship. Have you had social media drama that came at the expense of your relationship? Let me know in the comments below (yup I’m nosy lol). I’ll be back on Friday with another dating related post so stay tuned! As always, remember to love and live luxuriously!