The “B” word

 

thebwordGood Morning! I was trying to think of an interesting topic for today’s post and I started thinking about anything interesting that happened this week and one incident in particular came to mind. One of my guy friends from elementary school gave a back-handed compliment on an Instagram post of mine and when another friend said something about his comment, he called her a bitch or as I refer to it, the “B” word. A few women  I know use the “B” word as a term of endearment when greeting or referring to one another ( “Hey btch”, “That’s my btch”) but when it is used to insult someone like the way my guy friend used it, tempers flare and the “B” word takes on a different meaning. The same can be said for the “N” word. Depending on who is using the term and in what context, it can be a sign of love or mutual respect or the highest insult to the African-American race.

 

I have talked about my disdain for the “B” word in the past in a YouTube rant (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCk3Hx1GMqI) but I am going to break it down once again so everyone understands why I don’t like using the term in a positive way. When you look up the “B” word in the Merriam-Webster dictionary, it gives you these 3 definitions:
1: the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals
2  a : a lewd or immoral woman
    b : a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman —sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse
3: something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant

Now I don’t know about the rest of the female population but I’m not a dog, don’t consider myself a lewd or immoral woman, and I’m not malicious,spiteful overbearing unpleasant etc. ALL of the definitions of the “B” word describe negative traits in a woman and so many of us use the word so casually like it doesn’t mean anything. Words have power and I know there’s this “Bad B*tch” movement going on that is supposed to empower women and I am all about empowerment but there are other ways we can describe strong, independent and confident women without resorting to using the “B” word. I think we should start movements and used words that emphasize those positive qualities and not the one that is used for shock value.

I am guilty of using the “B” word occasionally but it’s always used as an insult out of anger and frustration. I feel that I was out of line in those moments and I attempt to use less explicit terms when I speak about or to someone who I am upset with but I do not use the term in a positive way. I have so many amazing women in my life from the ones in my family. my friends co-workers and people who I just associate with and to call them a “b” word is diminishing their worth as a woman and a human being. We are more than that and to the men that call the women in their lives the “B” word, let’s set a better examples for the younger generation and not feed in to the sexist stereotypes that the “B” word has created.

 

Okay I am done ranting for today lol…Let me know what you think about the “B” word in the comments section below and stay tuned for the “New Year, New Me” makeover recap coming soon!

 

Always remember to love and live luxuriously! 

 

 

 

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YouTube Vlogger Spotlight: Chescaleigh

Good Morning! I strive to be completely honest with my readers about all the issues/struggles that I am dealing with in my life. With that being said, I have a confession to make: I am a YouTube addict. Seriously though! I can spend hours and hours looking and various YouTube content. Some of it is substance material, some of it is fluff but I keep telling myself that I need to stop watching and start creating. That works for like a day or so and then I go to my recommended video list on the main page and I see content that changes the way I look at life and I become hooked once again. This is exactly what happened when I stumbled across YouTube Vlogger Chescaleigh’s YouTube page. She had this video called “Shit White Girls Say To Black Girls” and I couldn’t stop laughing while watching but it wasn’t solely because the content was funny and entertaining.  She was able to show how white people say racist things to people of color about everything from their appearance to their culture but thought because they phrased it in a certain way or because they were cool with that person, the racist comments/questions were acceptable. I have heard a few of the questions myself especially the ones related to my hair so it was refreshing to have someone turn a mirror and show people how silly/stupid/ignorant their comments and questions really are and hopefully will teach them to think before they speak and allow us to have more honest and open dialogues when it comes to racism and prejudice.

Chesca now works with MTV and creates entertaining and thought-provoking videos along the same lines as her own channel’s content. I am so happy that there is someone like her out there that is so creative and is able to articulate our thoughts and ideas in a way that people can actually get it. I strive to be just as creative when I do my own videos. Make sure you check out her page on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/user/chescaleigh)  and watch the video “Shit White Girls Say To Black Girls” below and let me know who your fave YouTube vloggers are!

 

 

Don’t forget about my live web chat next Wednesday at 9Pm est. Looking forward to chatting with you guys!

 

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

 

 

A New Beginning

newbeginning2Good Morning everyone! After a 2 week hiatus, I am back in action! I decided to use the time off to reevaluate my life and the decisions I have made that brought me to this point. I realized that one of the things that was holding me back from being the best version of myself was that I was in a “situationship” that was going nowhere. Deep down, I knew this for a while but I  was reluctant to let go completely out of fear. There was the fear that the pain of not seeing him anymore would be unbearable and that settling for pieces of him would be better than having nothing at all. These were  all excuses holding me back and it took a friend’s advice for me to really get that. My friend pointed out to me that by not letting go of something that isn’t beneficial to you, you are also standing in the way of all the good that could come your way. I let this situation go on for too long and as a result, I was missing opportunities to meet others and to have growing thriving relationships that would lift me up instead of tear me down.

I found the courage to say that I deserve better and that I couldn’t keep settling no matter how strong my feelings were. It was difficult but learning how to let go was the push I needed to start fresh.  I’ve decided to take a break from dating for a bit and focus on the things I  need to do personally and professionally to get to where I need to be. The first thing I want to do is get on my vlogging grind more. I plan on doing 2-3 YouTube videos a week as well as a monthly web chat with the first one being in August. I have a few topics in mind so I might do a poll to see what you guys want to hear! I am also working on a “Confidence Interview Series” that will feature everyday women doing extraordinary things in the face of adversity. I get a lot of likes/comments on the quotes I post on Facebook and Instagram so I will be sure to keep those coming as well:)

It’s been 5 years since I started  this site (under the name “The Angielala Experience”) and although I’ve changed a lot of things such as the name, and switched the focus from love, sex and relationships to confidence, the one thing that remains the same is that I want my experiences to empower women from all walks of life. Sharing the good, bad and all that is in between is not only a lesson to others but is also very therapeutic for me. Life is the greatest teacher and I want the life experiences to help in any way possible so that we all can be the best versions of ourselves and inspire great change in the world. I know that is it a daunting task but I’m learning that everything is a process and that greatness takes time. Instead of feeling overwhelmed and discouraged because I am not where I want to be, I feel determined and motivated because I have already come so far. It’s all about your  mindset and I am going to make sure that I am thinking and acting positively so that I can attract that back to the world:)

 

Until tomorrow, make sure to love and live luxuriously!

No More Excuses

Excuses_1680x1050Good Morning everyone! I went MIA for the last 4 weeks because I was in dire need of inspiration. I let things in my life get the best of me and I started to settle instead of going after everything I always wanted. Yesterday on my way to church, I had an epiphany of sorts. I realized that when I really wanted something. I was always able to achieve it and when I didn’t want it bad enough, I made excuses for my actions instead of accepting the fact that things that are really worth it aren’t going to come as easily. My biggest obstacles are finding a job that will allow me to make a real living and give me the flexibility to do things that are my passion such as working on things related to the site and to get my driver’s license. I have a fear of driving that I have tried to overcome for a very long time and instead of dealing with it head on, I put it to the side and “plan”on dealing with it later. It’s embarrassing to talk about but I realized that maybe the embarrassment will help me deal with the fear. Feeling like something is stopping me from reaching my full potential is far worse than worrying about what others think of me. My journey is my own and being scared/embarrassed/hesitant will only continue to hold me back. Those are just excuses that I attempted to use as a crutch but instead it became a heavy weight that I’ve dragged around for too long. Greatness takes time and we all are a work in progress but I have to be consistent and put in the work if I plan on seeing any results.  I know now that excuses are temporary bandages that only hide what still lies beneath. Handling issues head on may hurt at the beginning but the pain ans struggle will be worth it when my goals are achieved and my dreams are coming true before my eyes.

Much love to you all and thank you for coming along this journey with me. There is so much in store so stay tuned!

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!