No More Excuses

Excuses_1680x1050Good Morning everyone! I went MIA for the last 4 weeks because I was in dire need of inspiration. I let things in my life get the best of me and I started to settle instead of going after everything I always wanted. Yesterday on my way to church, I had an epiphany of sorts. I realized that when I really wanted something. I was always able to achieve it and when I didn’t want it bad enough, I made excuses for my actions instead of accepting the fact that things that are really worth it aren’t going to come as easily. My biggest obstacles are finding a job that will allow me to make a real living and give me the flexibility to do things that are my passion such as working on things related to the site and to get my driver’s license. I have a fear of driving that I have tried to overcome for a very long time and instead of dealing with it head on, I put it to the side and “plan”on dealing with it later. It’s embarrassing to talk about but I realized that maybe the embarrassment will help me deal with the fear. Feeling like something is stopping me from reaching my full potential is far worse than worrying about what others think of me. My journey is my own and being scared/embarrassed/hesitant will only continue to hold me back. Those are just excuses that I attempted to use as a crutch but instead it became a heavy weight that I’ve dragged around for too long. Greatness takes time and we all are a work in progress but I have to be consistent and put in the work if I plan on seeing any results.  I know now that excuses are temporary bandages that only hide what still lies beneath. Handling issues head on may hurt at the beginning but the pain ans struggle will be worth it when my goals are achieved and my dreams are coming true before my eyes.

Much love to you all and thank you for coming along this journey with me. There is so much in store so stay tuned!

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!

Meant To Be

post-4023-What-s-meant-to-be-will-always-qNIPHey everyone! It’s been a few weeks since my last post and part of the reason was technical issue with the site but the main reason I haven’t been posting is because I struggled both personally and professionally. I have talked about me being frustrated as far as where I am in love and in life as a whole but for the past week, the frustration has built and brought about anxiety and tension. I know that change starts in the mind and that you have to conceive something for it to be achieved but somewhere along the way, self-pity and doubt creeped in and lingered throughout my day. Talking about these feelings help somewhat but when I am alone once again, I start thinking and wishing that things were different.

The worst habit that I have is that I compare my life and current situation to that of my peers who I feel are more successful in their love life, career or both in some cases. I will be 29 in 11 days and I always thought that I would have it all together by the time I was approaching 30. I thought I would have a successful marketing career and have the site bring me closer to my dreams of being the “Internet Oprah”.As far as my love life, I thought I would be in a committed relationship on the road to marriage. I want children someday but as long as my career and love life were on track, I figured having 2 kids would fall into place sometime in  my early 30’s. My reality is far different from my earlier expectations. I am working 2 part-time jobs, one which I can’t stand (retail) and the other which I like (tutoring) but isn’t my passion or purpose. I am attempting to date but it has been hard to let go of my old habits and feelings towards the opposite sex and how I view myself. I know that I have to work on myself before I can be in a successful relationship but I also want to date and relax without the pressure of always expecting more especially when I can tell that things aren’t headed in that direction. Most importantly, I want to stop comparing myself to others because I know that my journey is my own and my story is not the same as everyone else. I may want different things out of life and have different ideas on what success is so for me to compare my life to others is doing a disservice to myself. What is meant to be will be and I need to take charge and focus on changing the things I can and learning how to leave everything else in God’s hands. Acknowledgement of my issues is the first step and sharing these issues with you all is a form of therapy for me. I hope that my journey will be helpful to others especially if you are going through a similar situation. Life can be  unpredictable and overwhelming but can also amazing as long as you can be the best version of yourself, give your all when you really want something, and most importantly, have no regrets.

I never considered myself to be an expert of any kind because I am learning day by day on how to live the best life for myself. Life is the greatest teacher and has made me realize how strong I am, how much I have grown and how far I have come from the person I was a decade ago. The right amount of pressure makes diamonds so please be patient with me because I am going to work hard on “Amore Luxe” and on being the person I want to be so I can shine and spread my inner light with others in hopes that they can do the same.

 

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

Falling In Love With Myself

fallinginlovewithmeeditGood Morning everyone! Over the weekend, I was reflecting on my life in the (almost) 29 years I have been on this earth and how every decision has brought me to this epiphany I’ve had over the last couple of days. Even though the bad times and situations have felt like stumbling blocks, they have taught me a lot about myself and life. I thought about the person I was 10 years ago and how much I have changed and because of those changes, I view life and the people who enter it differently. I have grown a lot since I entered my first relationship 10 years ago when I was 19 and very naive when it came to love and the opposite sex. I thought that if you did everything to please your partner and showed that you were a loyal and trustworthy person, he/she would be the same way and  love would “conquer all” as the saying goes.  After dealing with emotional abuse as well as infidelity, I realized that even though being faithful and genuine wasn’t enough to save that relationship or any relationship since, love can conquer all but this only counts when the person I am in love with is myself.

For so long, I put others’ opinions and feelings before my own and would live in fear that I wouldn’t be pretty/thick/experienced/sexy enough for someone’s love and affection. I would always be the timid geeky little girl that I was growing up that was seen as smart but not confident enough to get out of her own way and try new things. I was so worried about impressing others and becoming this new and improved version of myself that I didn’t realize that I had to stop falling in love with other people and exaggerated expectations and start falling in love with myself for anything in my life to change and go in a positive direction.

Falling in love with myself isn’t an easy task. I knew that the first step required me to be brutally honest with myself. I have to work on fixing the internal mess that is going on versus trying to fix the external trying to please others. A person that truly loves themselves doesn’t settle for less than they deserve. When you love yourself, along with that love comes self-respect and when it comes to all of your relationships, you realize that anyone you are involved is a reflection of the type of person you are and the decisions you have made. I realize that after my first failed relationship, a string of other failures followed because I settled for living in undefined gray areas instead of being specific and clear about what I wanted out of the relationship from the beginning. Even though I knew that the men I was dealing with weren’t ready to commit, I settled hoping that things would change (specifically me trying to change them) instead of seeing things as they were instead of what I wanted them to be. Maya Angelou once said “When someone shows you who they are, believe them” but instead, I chose to live in an ongoing state of denial because I was afraid of being alone. This denial not only hindered me from being in a productive, balanced relationship but it also hindered me from truly loving the person that I had to face the person in the reflection staring back at me.

I am at a point now where I am not actively looking for someone to be with. I know that what is meant to be will be and if “Mr. Right for me” happens to come along, I will embrace it but my priority is to start giving “Angela Cherai” the time and attention she deserves. I say the Serenity Prayer daily asking God to grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference and in doing so, I have found clarity that has opened my eyes to a world of possibilities that I didn’t know were there. One of my goals is to be a living example of someone who can inspire others to want the best for themselves. I know now that a person can’t find happiness, success and positive self-worth in other people or things. He/she has to find these attributes from within and loving yourself is the foundation that everything positive is built upon. It isn’t an overnight process but everyday I am a step closer to where I need to be and my goal is for the person reading this to be where you need to be as well:)

The 1st anniversary for “Amore Luxe” is approaching (as well as my 29th birthday) so stay tuned for the month-long celebration and all the “confidence talks” to go along with it!

And as always, remember to love and live luxuriously!

Day 7 Confidence Challenge: No Gossiping!

gossipGood Morning! Last night as I was deciding  what I wanted today’s challenge to be, I started thinking about the negative traits that I wanted to change about myself and one of them was gossiping. I am not as bad as some of my friends and family members but I still do indulge in gossip from time to time and that says more about my character than the person or people who I am speaking of. I can’t pretend that I like everything someone says or does but instead of focusing on the things that aren’t appealing or of interest of me when it comes to their appearance, behavior or overall personality, I could use that same time and effort into working on my life and the person I want to become. Gossip comes from a negative place and even though not all of it is meant to be malicious and hurtful (think about the funny and entertaining gossip blogs many of you read on a daily basis), it still demonstrates anger, envy, jealousy and other characteristics that are harmful to one’s mental well-being. They say misery loves company and a bunch of gossipers can spread misery and negative energy wherever they go.

I know how difficult it can be to stay away from gossip especially when your coworkers are talking about how much they can’t stand their boss or you turn on the television and watch yet another celebrity get bashed on TMZ but  today, try your hardest to refrain from engaging in the chatter. Change the subject or walk away once someone attempts to bring you into the negative conversation. Turn the channel on the television or close out of the window of the site that is feeding negative energy about someone. Engage in other activities that are uplifting to yourself and others and you will feel better about yourself and life in general. Instead of the possibility of guilt or remorse after bashing someone, your confidence will rise because you didn’t have to put someone down to feel better about yourself and that is what this challenge and overall campaign is about. Affecting others in a favorable way will bring about good energy in your own life and will be clear to anyone who encounters you.

I made a conscious decision not to post challenges everyday because I don’t want this challenge to feel like work. On the “off” days, I want everyone to reflect on their progress so far and create goals that will bring them into a more confident frame of mind. I want to thank everyone who made it through week one of the “30 Day Confidence Challenge” and for those who are just starting, here’s a recap of the challenges so far:

Day 1: Finding “Me Time” https://amoreluxe.com/2015/04/09/day-1-confidence-challenge-treat-yourself-to-some-me-time/

Day 2: “Smile” https://amoreluxe.com/2015/04/10/day-2-confidence-challenge-smile/

Day 3 and Day 4: Challenge Break to work on “Confidence Goals”

Day 5: “Think Positive” https://amoreluxe.com/2015/04/13/day-5-confidence-challenge-think-positive/

Day 6- Reflection on Confidence Progress so far

Sharing is caring! Share these posts on your social media pages (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram) and use the hashtags #confidencechallenge and #confidencecampaign while posting! I want to know how you guys feel about the campaign and the challenges that you are facing in your life as well so make sure you comment and keep me updated. I have so many things in store for “Amore Luxe” and the “Confidence Campaign” in the months ahead so stay tuned:)

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!