Being Brutally Honest With Myself

I know it’s been a minute but I had a lot of things to get off my chest so forgive me if this post is a bit all over the place but I wanted it to be read in its purest and rawest form without trying to sound perfect or profound. I’ve been MIA for a lot of reasons mainly because I was feeling uninspired/unmotivated/depressed/down on my luck, etc. I wanted to present the best version of myself and I felt that until I could do that, I was going to stay away from blogging and mainly lurk on social media with the occasional snap or ig flick. As a result, I gained social media envy and just felt like my whole life was a complete failure compared to that of my former classmates, family, friends and influencers. I knew deep down inside that you can’t take everything on social media at face value and that people usually  present the best versions of themselves but I still allowed it to control the way I felt about my life and all the losses that had occurred.  At the end of last year, I started going to therapy after my grandmother died because I was feeling lost and unsettled. My life felt like it was in shambles and I had no control over it. I was at a job that I didn’t like and I felt like I was settling and being complacent. My therapist made me realize that I had to take a leap of faith to see change so I decided the first thing that I had to let go of was the comfort and security of my job.  I left my full-time job to follow my dreams of being an entrepreneur (social media marketing maven/blogger) but those old feelings of inadequacy came creeping back in. Though I was gung-ho at the beginning of the year and initial launch of “Amore Luxe Media”, the energy and steam wore off when I didn’t receive immediate results and the cycle of feeling uninspired and unmotivated started yet again. What made it worse was that I didn’t have a good excuse to not try harder. My closest friends were making moves, taking chances and pushing themselves past their comfort zones. They were living their lives unapologetically and even though sacrifices had to be made, they knew that the result would be worth it. If you watch the hit HBO show, Insecure, I felt like I was Issa and Issa is me. She was the one in the group of her friends that was at a job that didn’t fulfill her and was watching her life spin into chaos while the ones closest to her were living their best lives. I didn’t wanna be the “Issa” of the group so I had to have a brutally honest conversation with myself to figure out what to do to not suck in life lol

 

The “Insecure” scene that changed everything .I REFUSE to be the Issa in my group of friends 😂 😂😂

I came to the conclusion that I need to set out specific goals for myself, attack them ONE at a time and be consistent and persistent. I am the type of person who expects to see instant results instead of being patient and continuing to put the work in even when I may feel like wanting to give up or feel like I am heading towards failure. Between watching Oprah and Will Smith inspirational videos, I’ve learned that failure is inevitable but it is how you handle to  that makes you a true contender in life. I was running away from my challenges in fear of failure and not attempting to give it my all is worse than any feeling that failure brings. I know that it’s a journey and it’s going to have its bumps and battles but giving up can no longer be an option. Excuses no longer cut it and while perfection is ideal, it shouldn’t be the main focus of everything that I set out to do. In order to live, I have to learn and embrace whatever is coming my way. I am strong enough to fight the battles and smart enough to know that failure or rejection isn’t the end but just another challenge I have to overcome to get what it is that I dream of. I have so much that I want to accomplish and normally I would list it all but for now, I’m keeping a few things to myself and will share them with you all as I make them happen.

  “You don’t become what you want, you become what you believe.”

     ― Oprah Winfrey

 

“Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me danger is very real but fear is a choice.”

― Will Smith

 

For those who have supported me since “The Angielala Experience” days, I love you and I appreciate everything from the positive feedback, constructive critiques and every like/share/comment on social media. I am still in the process on what direction I want “Amore Luxe” to go in because I feel like it’s all over the place at the moment but I know that I still want confidence to be the focus and I hope that this post and all that follow it inspire and urge my readers to take chances to make the necessary changes in life.  I know it’s tough but you can do it and I believe in you just as much as you believe in me and going forth, I promise that I will make sure to provide content that will help you be the best you. Let me know what you think about this post by liking/commenting/sharing. Much love to you all and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

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Black Panther Review *Spoilers Included*

Good Morning everyone! I know its been close to two months but I’ve been working on my side hustle “Amore Luxe Media” that I will be discussing within the next few days. Working on that project has taken up most of my time but I said in my last post that I would start posting more content so I’m gonna do better in 2018 I promise! I figured I’d start this year on a high note and what better way to do that than to discuss the year’s most anticipated movie. I am talking about Black Panther of course! I have been dying to see this movie for over a year now and when it was released in theaters 10 days ago, I made sure that I had the perfect seats and that I purchased 3D tickets because I had to experience Wakanda in all its glory and  I am very happy with my decision.  Black Panther was such an amazing film that I ended up seeing it a second time. I wanted to wait at least a week to discuss my favorite parts but I couldn’t wait any longer so if you haven’t seen it, close this tab now because I’m about to tell it all or at least the best parts lmao

 

spoiler alert

First off Wakanda is such a beautiful world.The mountains and waterfalls are what dreams are made of! I wish it was a real place so I could save my coins to go visit! The only thing that competed with the scenery were the people. I loved the different tribes that were represented and their attire and I enjoyed knowing that the beautiful people on the screen with their rich brown skin were being portrayed in a positive light and were a part of the most advanced nation in the WORLD! Now when have Black people ever been associated with anything remotely close to that level of magnificence in mainstream media???NEVER that’s what but seeing them reminded me of how great we are and showed the rest of the word that there is more to Black culture than slaves, maids and gangsters. The fact that the rest of the world underestimated the power and intelligence of Wakanda and thought it was just another third world country made it even better.I like being seen as the underdog because people will never see what’s coming when you finally decide to showcase your talents and abilities!

love their brother/sister relationship…couldn’t find the “What are those?!?” gif so I settled for this one lol

Now onto my fave characters: Princess Shuri is absolutely amazing! She was my favorite character because she was intelligent, witty and funny and black girls usually aren’t portrayed as such in mainstream media. She brought out the playful side of T’Challa who is normally very serious and stoic and made him more likable. She saved the CIA agent’s life (while reminding him that he was a colonizer lol) and ended up being his boss sort of speak when its usually the other way around in most movies. She had heart and hella jokes and even though I’ve never read the comic books, I’m sure Letitia Wright did the character justice.

Now my second fave character is a toss up between Okoye (played by Danai Gurira) and Erik Killmonger (played by Michael B. Jordan) Okoye is the definition of a strong, fierce, loyal bad ass woman. She wasn’t afraid to speak her mind and she didn’t succumb to a man because of love and valued loyalty and honor above all else. And she’s an amazing fighter and dare I say it, better than Black Panther when it comes to pure martial art like skills! I bet he couldn’t beat her without his suit on…I would put money on it :p Now as far as Killmonger goes, this was some of Michael B. Jordan’s best work yet. I was never impressed with him as an actor but he really committed himself to this role and I loved his fire and passion even though Killmonger’s approach was all wrong. The line at the end where he said “Bury me in the ocean with my ancestors who jumped from ships, ‘cause they knew death was better than bondage.” was so profound and prolific all I could do was say “Damn!” Like even while dying, he still remained true to himself and his beliefs and I respect that. M’Baku who was the leader of the Jabari tribe was funny too and really came through in the end as far as saving T’Challa’s life and protecting the throne. T’Challa/Black Panther and Nakia were good too and their relationship was kinda cute but they didn’t stand out as much as I thought they would…there’s always hope for more character development in   the sequel fingers crossed

Okoye in all of her fierceness/badassery!

Okay so I have to talk about the bomb that was dropped on us courtesy of Sterling K. Brown (Randall from This is Us). Now I knew that Sterling was in the movie but I didn’t realize that he would play such a pivotal role as King T’Challa’s uncle Prince N’Jobu. We find out towards the middle of the movie that N’Jobu was killed by T’Challa’s father T’Chaka,  the former king who died in Captain America: Civil War (I only watched the scenes with Black Panther’s character so I could understand the back story better lol). That was crazy enough but then we find out that the “villain” Killmonger is actually N’Jobu’s son who was abandoned so that T’Challa’s father’s secret wouldn’t be discovered…Mind Blown! That made the plot so much more interesting because it went from brother vs. brother to cousin vs. cousin and two points of view as far as how to advance as a nation. T’Challa believed in isolation as a way to protect Wakanda and its people and Killmonger believed in killing and conquering to help Black people who are struggling around the world. Killmonger’s passion along with Nakia’s reasoning influenced T’Challa to abandon the traditional way of thinking and share Wakanda’s resources with the rest of the world. Looking forward to seeing a sequel (if I keep putting it out in the universe, I can will it to happen lol) and how the world responds to the fact that Wakanda is so much more than what it appeared to be.

Killmonger was militant and violent but I still emphasized with him…crazy right!

I hope that seeing a Black Superhero with a majority black cast will show Hollywood that Black led films do well in the states as well as internationally. Black Panther has broken all kinds of records and has grossed more than 500 million worldwide in a weeks time. Now if that isn’t showing how much the world (not just the black people in it) wants to see diversity on their screens, I don’t know what else can be done. I also look forward to seeing what Ryan Coogler (the director of Black Panther) has up his sleeve because he has shown himself to be an amazing director and visionary so I know this is only the beginning for him!

What did you think of the movie? Let me know in the comments below:)

Stay tuned for my “Amore Luxe Media” announcement and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

Fun Friday: My fave video of the moment!

f36c72b540a9677bd0c44b7e07a8b45bGood Afternoon! I’ve had a bit of writer’s block the past few days but I told myself that I would post as long as I felt that it would be inspiring and/or entertaining to my readers. I then remembered what day it was: Friday. It’s the end of a long work/school week and at my job as director/after school program supervisor, Friday becomes “Fun Friday”. It’s all about relaxing and having fun because the kids don’t do homework at the program on Fridays and are able to play with toys, do art projects or play games on their tablets instead. It’s a great way to end the week so I figured I could create a “Fun Friday” of my own on here! Every Friday, I’ll post something or someone who made me stop and smile/laugh in hopes that you will feel the same way!

This week, I was obsessed with watching a little 4-year-old boy dance on “Ellen”. He was dancing to a song called “Juju on That Beat” and while I was shaking my head at the title and lyrics (guess I’m showing my age!), I couldn’t stop smiling because not only could this little boy dance, but you could tell that he really enjoyed himself and would put on the same performance regardless of if anyone was watching. As adults, many of us worry about what others think of us so we are hesitant to say or do things that we feel will get a negative response from others. It’s hard to be true to yourself when you feel like you are always being analyzed and criticized but try to remember a time when you were young and didn’t really care about others opinions because you were happy and in your own little world. I’m not telling you to act like a child but capture the essence of the joy and carefree spirit that kids have and spread it around because it’s contagious. Check out the video below and be sure to share your own videos using the hashtag #funfriday so I can see what make you guys smile!

 

 

New post coming on Monday and I’ll be live on Facebook on Wednesday night at 8pm EST so stay tuned!

Have a great weekend and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

 

YouTube Vlogger Spotlight: Chescaleigh

Good Morning! I strive to be completely honest with my readers about all the issues/struggles that I am dealing with in my life. With that being said, I have a confession to make: I am a YouTube addict. Seriously though! I can spend hours and hours looking and various YouTube content. Some of it is substance material, some of it is fluff but I keep telling myself that I need to stop watching and start creating. That works for like a day or so and then I go to my recommended video list on the main page and I see content that changes the way I look at life and I become hooked once again. This is exactly what happened when I stumbled across YouTube Vlogger Chescaleigh’s YouTube page. She had this video called “Shit White Girls Say To Black Girls” and I couldn’t stop laughing while watching but it wasn’t solely because the content was funny and entertaining.  She was able to show how white people say racist things to people of color about everything from their appearance to their culture but thought because they phrased it in a certain way or because they were cool with that person, the racist comments/questions were acceptable. I have heard a few of the questions myself especially the ones related to my hair so it was refreshing to have someone turn a mirror and show people how silly/stupid/ignorant their comments and questions really are and hopefully will teach them to think before they speak and allow us to have more honest and open dialogues when it comes to racism and prejudice.

Chesca now works with MTV and creates entertaining and thought-provoking videos along the same lines as her own channel’s content. I am so happy that there is someone like her out there that is so creative and is able to articulate our thoughts and ideas in a way that people can actually get it. I strive to be just as creative when I do my own videos. Make sure you check out her page on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/user/chescaleigh)  and watch the video “Shit White Girls Say To Black Girls” below and let me know who your fave YouTube vloggers are!

 

 

Don’t forget about my live web chat next Wednesday at 9Pm est. Looking forward to chatting with you guys!

 

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!