Playing Catch Up 

catchupGood morning! I was on my way to work yesterday when I started thinking about how I felt like all my life, I felt like I was playing catch up. I didn’t date until college, I didn’t graduate from college until I was 27 and I am not where I want to be in my personal or professional life. I have been blessed with many opportunities but I don’t always take advantage of them and I asked myself “Why does it seem that I haven’t fully gotten the grasp of this “life” thing?” The answer that I received surprised me. I don’t think that anyone has fully gotten the grasp of life because for as many successes that I’ve witnessed from others, there have been just as many failures if not more.

I had a talk with a friend yesterday and she gave me something to think about. She asked me”If everyone posted every moment of their lives on social media, do you think that their lives would look as picture perfect as it seems?” The answer is a resounding “NO”. People post the positive things that are going on not always to seem to be doing better than they are but instead, they want to attract the positive energy that they receive when putting positive vibes in the atmosphere. That is what I try to do but I know that I still have to acknowledge and handle the negative obstacles that come in my way. If everything in life was perfect, there would be nothing to strive for. There cannot be passion and pleasure without pain. I truly do believe that they go hand in hand. I won’t lie and tell you that I want to go through the bad to get to the good but I know it is what has to be done.

Everyone has their own journey that they have to travel to get to where they need to be and maybe my missteps along the way may have felt like they were holding me back from my goals but I’m slowly realizing that everything happens the way it’s supposed to and even if I’m playing catch up, I’ll get to where I need to be soon enough!

Daydreaming

daydream2

Good Morning! As I was at my first job yesterday folding clothes, my  mind started to wander off into la la land…I didn’t space out completely like I do in the privacy of my home but I started thinking about my current situation and how I really wished that I could be anywhere else. Having big dreams isn’t a rarity. We all dream of living the life that we feel is perfect for us but many times, we don’t follow through on those dreams. I have said time and time again that I want to be the internet version of Oprah. I want to inspire and motivate women like she has done and I want to do it through online platforms such as YouTube, Facebook and most importantly “Amore Luxe”. These dreams are as vivid and real to me as the computer screen that I am currently viewing but unfortunately, I am not completely sure what I need to do  achieve my goals. I know that greatness takes time but everyday that I am at my job daydreaming about what I want instead of actually living the life that I’ve always dreamed of, I feel like time is passing by and each moment is wasted doing something that isn’t fulfilling me or pushing me closer to where I need to be.

LL Cool J said something very profound at the Grammys last night. He said “Dreams don’t have deadlines. Believe in yourself” and even though I know that to be true, I don’t want to waste any more moments solely dreaming (or daydreaming) about what I want and not actually taking the necessary steps to make my dreams come true. I told myself that no matter how busy I was, each day, I would do something that will help me get closer to making my dreams come true. Today, I have created this post which I hope will inspire me for days to come. Even something as simple as posting quotes or making that vision board that is constantly on my mind are the little things that will help me reach the bigger milestones in my life. I can’t make other people do what I want them to do or feel a certain way by coercion, manipulation or just giving all of my myself in hopes that I will receive the same. I can only be true to myself, follow my heart and hope that others can relate and be encouraged by the way that I live my life. When it’s all said and done, I want to feel content in knowing that I went hard in chasing my dreams and “daydreaming” was not the beginning  end of the journey but the catalyst that set everything into motion. Sweet daydreams to all of you:)

 

Love and live luxuriously!

Speak Your Mind

drseussquoteGood Morning! After a week of writer’s block, I promised myself that I would post something even if it was a quote because I know that there is someone out there that may help from my posts as random as they can be sometimes! I believe that we are all works in progress and I know that as much as I’ve grown in the past few years, I still have a long way to go. I was looking for quotes online and stumbled across one by one of my favorite authors: Dr. Seuss (lol) that spoke about being true to who you are. Even though many people would consider me to be an outspoken and outgoing person, one of my biggest issues is that even though I know that I should focus on how I feel about myself and the decisions I make, the little girl inside of me still seeks approval and acceptance from her peers. It stems from my childhood and adolescence because I didn’t think that anyone cared about how I felt or what I wanted so I stayed silent on the sidelines. It took me years to really put myself out there and at times, I still have issues when it comes to speaking my mind. I have strong opinions about things but sometimes I hold my tongue because I don’t to sound ignorant or misinformed. Other times, I stay silent because I don’t want to feel like I’m the only one that doesn’t “get it” and I didn’t want to start arguing and end up looking foolish in the end. In instances like these, I don’t want to stand out so being silent seems like the only way to be accepted.

I started to notice that I was reverting back to the old me when I was at my retail job the other day. The managers and a few of the associates are very opinionated and self-assured and I started feeling like I used to when I would stay silent on things that bothered me because I wanted to avoid confrontation . Truth be told, I really don’t care for most of the people I work with and feel like I’m settling when I clock in so I’m polite and mainly focus on doing my job until it’s time for me to go. The thing is, I love talking to people about what’s going on in their lives and sharing stories so we can connect and hopefully heal but I can’t be my true self while interacting with associates and customers because the focus is not about connecting but making the sale. Although I went to school for marketing and understand the nature of business, I feel like this place is sucking the positive energy out of me because it isn’t my passion or my purpose. I know it is a temporary thing and I need to make the best of it but I can’t allow this job to bring me to a mental space where I am not being true to who I am or what I feel. Now I know better than to become loud and angry if someone says or does something that doesn’t sit right with me but I also know that I am not going to put up with disrespect solely because of my position as a sales associate. I am trying to find that balance so I can speak my mind and it doesn’t come off as abrasive or defensive but at the same time, I am respected and seen for who I really am.

One of the things I wanted to do this year was focusing on being a better person starting from within. As I stated in an earlier post, I wanted to start eating healthier even before I attempted to work out because I have been told that the key to staying fit is 70% diet and 30% exercise so I’m gonna work on that 70% now. Working on being a better person also means that I have to be in a positive space mentally and spiritually. I spoke about getting rid of toxic people in a recent post (https://amoreluxe.com/2015/01/16/toxic-people/) but even with positive people surrounding me, I have to find that light from within to truly shine. My friend Kimmy and I are always talking about making our dreams a reality.She is involved in social media marketing and has notable clients under her belt but she wants to go out and try new things in the city of dreams and is actually making it happen! She told me that I should read the book “The Secret” because it talks about the law of attraction to gain the things that you really want in life. I plan on starting it tonight so hopefully by next week, I can give my review on it. Also, I am planning on creating a vision board because she made one and so did my friend, beauty blogger extraordinaire Kiwi of www.kiwithebeauty.com  (love, love, love her site!) These ladies inspire me and have such positive energy surrounding them so if they are opening up their minds and exploring new possibilities by doing these things, I am damn sure going to do it too because this will help me become the woman I want to be!

There is a quote that says “The only true failure is the failure of not trying”so I am going to make sure I continue to give it my all. I am still working on a few things related to the “Confidence Campaign” so make sure you stay tuned for what I have in store because it is definitely worth the wait:) I hope all of you have an amazing day and remember to always love and live luxuriously!

 

 

 

 

 

Light Girls

lightgirlsGood Afternoon! I watched the “Light Girls” documentary on OWN last night and wanted to express all the things that were running through my mind while watching. I didn’t comment on the “Dark Girls” documentary because I didn’t feel like I could completely relate to what the women on the documentary were saying but after watching the “Light Girls” documentary, I realized that I can’t completely relate to the “light-skinned” women and their experiences either. My mom is a beautiful brown-skinned woman who I’ve been told that I favor on countless occasions but my father was very light-skinned. People used to tell him that he favored Smokey Robinson pretty hazel eyes and all!  When I was younger, classmates would ask if he was white because of his light complexion. Most of the relatives on my father’s side of the family were just as light and some could pass for white. I remember one experience when I was with my grandfather at the supermarket and I ran into a coworker of mine who waved when we walked by. When I saw my coworker at work the next day, he asked me who was that “white man” I was with the day before and when I told him that was my grandfather, he didn’t believe me. As a result of growing around people who were considered “light-skinned” in my eyes, I never saw myself as light because many of my family  members had a much  lighter complexion than me. It wasn’t until my young adult life that I was placed in the light-skinned/redbone/yellow complexion category. When I would wear long weaves, people would ask me if I was mixed and the guy that I am currently seeing jokingly calls me “light brite” and “yellow cake” because he swears that I am of a lighter complexion than he is.

Being “light” was never something that I felt I should be proud of. My mom as I stated before is brown-skinned and my maternal grandmother had the most beautiful chocolate complexion that I’ve ever seen. Beauty, in my eyes was how you carried yourself and skin color had nothing to do with it. It bothers me that we are still having this conversation in 2015.  I feel like we can’t even begin to properly deal with racial discrimination until we address the colorism within our own community. Instead of putting people on pedestals or insulting them if they are light or dark, we need to talk about why we are focusing on skin color in the first place. It all stems from racism as far back as slavery and although it has been 150 years since slavery ended, the pain from the emotional wounds still linger. I know it is easier said than done but we must address the real issues that are more than skin deep.

I think we can all start by learning how to truly love ourselves. It is hard to not let appearance be a reason but we need to focus on being the best version of ourselves by changing what is on the inside. Once we learn to love and embrace our differences and accept others’ differences and be happy with what God has blessed us with, we can grow as individuals and as human beings. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. famously said “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” Even though Dr. King was speaking about the judgment outside of the black community, we need to work on the judgment within the black community so we can begin the healing process.

 

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!