Is Online Dating Worth The Hassle?


Hey lovelies! I told myself that I was going to be completely honest with you guys about what’s going on in my life this time around so I decided to share something that I was kind of embarrassed about. Then I said eff it and decided to share my dating struggles. I’ve talked about the issues with the last guy I was seeing back in March (here’s the link to that post! https://amoreluxe.com/2018/03/14/shattering-my-rose-colored-glasses/) and that situation is dead lol but I wanted to step back out into the dating world but had difficulty because I don’t meet different types of guys in my neighborhood. At my last job, I only dealt with kids, staff and parents (and I’ve never gotten involved with a parent lol) and don’t frequent the types of places where I can meet different types of men so my only option was to resort to online dating. I’ve tried online dating in the past and even started seeing a guy that I met online but things did not work out. (Check out this post for details on that situation! https://amoreluxe.com/2016/10/14/forgiveness/) I was very hesitant to try it again but my bff Krystal suggested I try it again to see if things would be different the second time around. She told me to have an open mind but to always go with my gut because ignoring it could lead to serious consequences. If something doesn’t seem right about a guy when talking to him, don’t ignore that feeling and end it if things are being said or done that makes you feel super uncomfortable or seems suspect. I am not anxious to jump in a relationship or commit to anything serious at this moment but if I meet someone and we click, I won’t reject it out of fear either. With all of that being said,I felt like I was ready to try again so I decided to reactivate my account for “OkCupid”. I also signed up for a dating app called “Coffee Meets Bagel” and a site I’ve never heard of called “Hinge”. Here’s my thoughts and ratings on the sites/apps:

 

OkCupid

I joined OkCupid back in 2014 and liked it alright but I am very selective with who I choose to talk to so I ended up talking to a few guys but only had a real connection with 2 of them. I am still friends with one of them to this day (you know who you are ūüėČ)¬†and I am so happy that him and I support each other in our endeavors.¬†The other guy who I ended up meeting in person and attempted to build something exhibited narcissistic tendencies and shady behavior and the latter was the main reason our situation ended. Needless to say, he was the reason that I was hesitant about reactivating my account but I told myself that I am wiser and that finding someone would be the icing on the cake and not the cake itself. Since there is no pressure, I could go into this with an open mind and just have fun! I realized that I’m just as picky as I was before but not just when it comes to looks. Most of the men I find attractive on the site seem to lack conversation and besides a “Hey what’s up?” and “What are you doing?”, it’s like pulling teeth to get them to say anything even though their profiles seem to have substance to them. One guy even hit me up after midnight when we hadn’t talked all day and tried to steer the conversation into a sexual direction so I had to shut that down quick! I’m not going to delete the app just yet but I am wary about the men that send me messages on there. This app gets a 2 out of 5 stars for now but hopefully I’ll meet a man who will change my mind.

Coffee Meets Bagel

Coffee Meets Bagel is different from OkCupid as far as the type of guys that frequent the site. I’ve noticed that more professional types (businessmen, doctors, lawyers) frequent this site than on OkCupid. These men also seem to be looking for something serious in contrast to OkCupid where many of the guys are looking for hookups and casual types of situations. Coffee Meets Bagel doesn’t let you browse through a large number of guys unless you pay for additional points or beans as they are called on the app. I REFUSE to pay for dating services of any kind so I deal with the limitations of the free services. I have begun conversations with a coupled of the guys I matched with but so far, nothing has materialized. The conversations only stay open for a couple of weeks unless you reopen it for 30 days so I’m guessing they expect you to make connections quickly and connect outside the app which I have yet to do. I will give this app 3.5/5 stars because I see it’s potential and I feel that some good prospects are out there just waiting for me lol

Hinge


Now this is a site/app I’ve never heard of until my therapist suggested it to me. This app is different from OkCupid and Coffee Meets Bagel in its simplicity. You only have to answer 3 random questions and connect your account to Instagram to create a profile. Even though there’s only 3 questions on the profile, they are interesting and the answers I’ve read have given me a bit of insight into what the guy is like. Like Coffee Meets Bagel, the guys on this app seem to be looking for something serious and the guys I’ve had conversations with so far seem have intrigued me. Not to mention that I am more attracted to the guys on this app as a whole¬†compared to the other two! I haven’t made a real connection yet but I just downloaded it last week so there’s no rush. I am giving this app 4/5 stars and if I meet someone and it leads to something, I’ll be the first to promote this app all over my social media ūüėā

 

 

Have you tried online dating? What have been your experiences? And for the fellas, have you had similar experiences with women on these apps? I wanna know ALL the tea ūüėõ

Sound off in the comments section and be sure to like and share this post!

 

Stay tuned for a new post either on Friday or Monday depending on how my week goes lol…until then be sure to love and live luxuriously!

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Blink of an Eye

blinkofaneye

I know its been a couple of weeks since my last post but for once, I have a valid reason for my lack of inspiration. Two weeks ago, my father ended up in a coma caused by a stroke, The doctors said the damage was so severe that it was unlikely that he would recover and if he were to wake up, he would most likely be blind and not able to speak. When I heard that news, it felt like my world had shattered into pieces. Since my father was staying in Florida with my grandmother, I couldn’t rush to the hospital and my mom had to fly down to handle things but I had to stay with my brother because he is autistic and needs someone to be with him . In my mind, nothing would ever be the same after that and I felt guilty because although my dad and I were talking to each other and I wasn’t mad at him at the time, I felt as if I would never get the chance to tell him that in spite of all of our arguments and bad times, that I always have and always will love him. Regardless of the issues that him and my mother had, he was always present in my life and everyone kept telling me how proud he was of me and how much he gushed about me and wanted me to be happy and safe. Hearing those words from others made me cry even more because I felt that I didn’t appreciate him enough. When my grandmother called to tell me and my mom what happened, I assumed it was my father calling and I was slightly annoyed because he called and always needed me to do something. ¬†Now when he really needs help the most, I feel helpless. Everyone keeps telling me to pray and I have and he’s defying the odds because he said a few words to my mother and grandmother and he may have vision in one eye so we all are remaining hopeful.

As all of this was going on with my father, I had events and previous¬†hosting engagements to attend and since I couldn’t be there with him in Florida, I wanted to follow through on all of my¬†¬†plans and make something of myself so I could feel deserving of the positive things he said about me to others. My father’s current predicament has made me realize that we have to treasure every moment we have and not take anything or anyone for granted. I am not sure what the future holds but I promised myself that I would give my all in whatever it is I set out to do and to let go of any negative energy holding me back. If I get a chance to have a real conversation with my father, I would tell him that he is why¬†I am starting to realize how precious life really is and I won’t take anyone, especially him for granted anymore. ¬†We are forever connected and even if we aren’t able to speak with our words, I know that our love is strong enough¬†to transcend space and time.

Much love to all of you and remember to

love.laugh.live.life