The 2017 Switch Up!

2017Happy Holidays everyone! I wanted to make 1 last post for 2016 before I decided to introduce a few of the changes I have in store for 2017. A lot of my friends and followers have been asking me why the posts on the site have been few and far in between and I would tell them that I was lacking inspiration which was true but there was more behind that statement.

Even though the issue was that I couldn’t think of anything to write about, I really didn’t want to write period. I feel that I can articulate myself better when I am talking to others whether it be through videos or face to face conversations. Writing is just something that I felt obligated to do because I have a blog site and written content is what’s expected so I tried to deliver to the best of my ability. The issue with that was that I wasn’t satisfied with most of my posts. I wanted to get back to doing what I love which is the videos/public speaking/discussions/hosting part of my life. Now my original issue which was the lack of inspiration comes into play.

I feel like talking about myself has become redundant and boring especially since I am still trying to figure a lot of things out and although so many people (including myself) like celeb gossip blogs, that was never the direction I wanted to go in with “Amore Luxe” so I kept wracking my brain trying to figure out what I could talk about that would be entertaining and intriguing without compromising my vision and I think I’ve finally got it! Stay tuned to see what I’ve come up with when I make my first post of 2017 next week ūüėČ Continue reading

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#MotivationMonday: Let go of what you cannot change

36e661fbc9b8f77232c494a807681139Good Afternoon! I know I haven’t posted in a week and to be honest, I didn’t feel up to it. I’ve been really bummed out lately and up until today, my anxiety was going into overdrive. I had a hard time falling asleep and when I finally did, I kept having weird dreams that I’m still trying to decipher. On top of all that, my chest felt tight and I knew I was worried/anxious but I wasn’t sure why. It took spending time with my grandmother yesterday for the light bulb to go off in my head and the conversation we had helped me get to the root of my anxiety which helped me to move forward.

My grandmother has soooooo many pictures from the time she graduated high school until now and as I mentioned in an earlier post “Photograph”, (https://amoreluxe.com/2016/10/12/photograph/) I love looking at them and hearing all the stories behind the pictures. As we came across a picture of my father who passed in 2014, we both started feeling melancholy and my grandma said “A mother isn’t supposed to outlive her child” and how she usually understands that everything happens for a reason but my father’s passing was something that she could never fully comprehend. I told her that some things just aren’t meant to be understood but that you have to accept it and find peace in knowing that things happen the way they are supposed to. Call it destiny, fate or whatever but what is meant to be will be. In that moment, I realized that most of my anxiety stemmed from the fact that I was worried about things that I could not change or control. I would ask myself questions like “Why did I slack off in my late teens-early 20’s at the first college I attended?” “Why did I waste so much time being involved with men who weren’t ready to commit?” and the one that I kept wasting energy on was “Why does it feel like I’m so behind in life compared to everyone else?” The answer to all of my questions was the same: Since it cannot be changed, I need to find peace with it and move on. ¬†I can’t change the past so why do I continue to focus on the mistakes I’ve made as it relates to school or relationships? ¬†I can only focus on the present and future and learn from those mistakes to make better choices that will bring happiness and success in my life. When it comes to worrying about others, it’s pointless because as I’ve stated many times before, everyone has their own journey and comparing my life to others doesn’t help me in my journey especially since I may not know what they went through to get to where they are today. Everyone has their own story and while I encourage others to go after their goals and dreams and live up to their potential, I only have control over my life and I need to direct my thoughts and energy on getting to where I want to be and look at positive examples and use that to fuel my motivation instead of allowing it to drain the passion that burns within me. I would say the “Serenity Prayer” every night before going to bed but last night was the first time in a long time that I said it and believed in the words I whispered to myself. For those of you who don’t know the “Serenity Prayer”, here it goes:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.

I know that the battle within myself isn’t ¬†over yet but I am in a better mental space today and I am glad I am able to share all the craziness inside this head of mine with you! Let me know what you think and like/share this post if you were able to learn something from it ūüôā Check back on Wednesday for my next post which will probably be about what helps me to de-stress because I’ve tried any and everything to relax and stay focused so stay tuned for that!

 

Much love to you all and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

 

Motivation Monday: Setbacks to Comebacks

tumblr_mle4lt1siv1qm99efo1_500Happy Monday! I was thinking about my life and how things aren’t the way I thought they would be. By 30, I figured that I would be a successful love and relationship blogger/vlogger with thousands of views. I just knew that I would be in a committed relationship on the road to marriage and that for the first time in a long time, everything would start to make sense. ¬†Instead, I’m rebuilding my website that focuses on confidence related issues and trying to entice readers and viewers with content that will entertain and inspire. As far as my love life is concerned, I just ended a 4 year situationship and vowed to stay celibate until I find a man who wants the same things I want out of a relationship. Needless to say, I’m still single! I can’t act like I am not partly at fault for the way things are but I wondered why everyone else seemed to be ahead of me in life. I know things could be much worse and I am grateful for what I have but why couldn’t things be better? Why when it feels like I am getting to where I need to be, life throws another curveball. Why am I not attracting the right kind of people into my space instead of the commitment phobic men that keep creeping up? It took me awhile to understand but I think that all the challenges are preparing me for something bigger, something greater than I could ever imagine.

I have to go through trials and tribulations to find the light at the end of the tunnel. I had to see what I didn’t want from a man and out of a relationship to appreciate the qualities that I should be looking for in a partner. I have to know what it feels like to fail to truly appreciate the feeling of success. The struggle is my motivation because I know that I don’t want to stay in the place I am in so I have to push past all the obstacles that are in my way to get to where I need to be. Setbacks lead to comebacks as long as you keep moving forward. It is easier said than done but I know that I am destined for greatness so while the past is a great teacher that will help me in my future, I can’t let it define me. One day at a time:)

I will be live on Facebook on Wednesday night at 8pm EST. The topic is “Eliminating Limitations” and I have lots to say so make sure you tune in! Check back here for my next post on Wednesday as well.

 

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!

Insecure

Yup, that's me with the poofy hair and glasses lol

Yup, that’s me with the poofy hair and glasses :p

Hey everyone! Before I get into today’s topic, I just want to let everyone know that I will be live on Facebook a week from today on the 26th. The topic is “Eliminating Limitations” and I will be discussing how I am trying to eliminate all the limitations that have stood in my way. I want to hear your thoughts on the subject so hit me up and I will share them on air next Wednesday! Now back to today’s topic! I am OBSESSED with YouTube vlogger and now TV star Issa Rae and her new show “Insecure” If you haven’t seen it, here’s a summary of what the show is about:

Created by Issa Rae and Larry Wilmore, the comedy series Insecure explores the black female experience. Rae stars as Issa and Yvonne Orji stars as Molly. Over the course of the season, Issa attempts to figure out what she wants out of life and how to take control of it, while fumbling her way through this journey. Molly, a corporate attorney who appears to have everything together professionally, struggles inside as she looks for external ways to fix her life.

Meanwhile, Issa’s boyfriend, Lawrence (Jay Ellis), who has fallen victim to complacency, works to get his own act together. Frieda (Lisa Joyce), Issa’s overeager white co-worker, whose enthusiasm is both annoying and endearing, is at the crux of Issa’s racial frustrations at work. 

Issa Rae wrote the New York Times bestseller The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl, which was published in 2015. Her web content has garnered more than 25 million views and over 200,000 subscribers on YouTube. In addition to making the Forbes 30 Under 30 list twice and winning the 2012 Shorty Award for Best Web Show for her hit series Awkward Black Girl, she has worked on web content for Pharrell Williams, Tracey Edmonds and numerous others.

Insecure was created by Issa Rae and Larry Wilmore; executive produced by Issa Rae, Prentice Penny, Melina Matsoukas, Michael Rotenberg, Dave Becky and Jonathan Berry. (courtesy of hbo.com)

 

I watched the premiere episode last month on demand and I was instantly intrigued. It’s rare that I find characters that I can relate to on television especially ones that put their insecurities on display. As a teen in the late 90’s/early 2000’s, I grew up watching shows like Family Matters, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, 90210 and Boy Meets World among others. Even though there was teenage angst, the teens on these shows always solved their issues in one episode and looked flawless while doing so. If only real life were that easy! Their insecurities seemed so insignificant compared to mine and being young and naive, I thought that I was the only one that had issues with my looks and overall demeanor. Like Issa, I was an “awkward black girl” ¬†but my awkwardness consisted of a skinny frame, glasses and braces. If I was cast on a tv show, I’d be the quintessential geek that always seemed to fade into the background. The geek on tv wasn’t the one that had the attention of the opposite sex so she usually just stayed to herself and buried herself in her books (or in my case my Usher VHS tapes and magazines). In my mind, no one could relate to what I was going through so especially since all the black girls on tv were beautiful and cool I kept my struggles to myself. Then a few years later when I was in my early 20’s, blogging and social media sites became mainstream and my life changed forever. Through blogging, I was able to share my stories and connect with¬†others who had been through similar experiences. I could spread the word through sites such as Twitter and Facebook and I could even stream live and post videos on YouTube. This took the Internet to a whole new level and I had the opportunity to meet people who I would never come in contact with under normal circumstances and was able to express my thoughts and feelings as well as enjoy others forms of expressions. Now this is where Issa Rae comes in!

I was familiar with Issa’s YouTube series “The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl” but didn’t really pay attention until I heard about her semi-autobiographical series “Insecure” being picked up on HBO. I thought to myself “Who is this woman and how did she get a series deal with HBO?” I just had to investigate and find out more. Through my investigation, I found a woman who was perfectly imperfect. She was quirky and weird but it worked for her. I admired her honesty and transparency and although it was content created for YouTube and television, it was authentic and most importantly, I could relate to all of it. I too tend to talk to myself when I need to vent. I also feel like everyone is doing better in life than me and as far as relationships go, I’ve had bad luck with men just like Issa (that’s why I’m abstaining from all things related to the opposite sex for now lol) Finally, I found someone who gets it, who gets me and even though I can only see her through my laptop/phone/tv screen, I know she is speaking to me and other women like myself who embrace our¬†quirks, awkwardness and even our insecurities and not let these things¬†hold us back from feeling confident, beautiful and successful. Issa is a prime example of how being who you are and not fitting any particular mold is the right way to go in all aspects of life! One of my goals is to tell her all of this in person so stay tuned for that epic moment ūüėÄ Dream big or not at all!

 

You can view¬†the trailer for Issa’s new HBO series “Insecure” below ¬†and check back on Friday for my next post! Much love to you all and always remember to love and live luxuriously!