Thick Girl Blues (Spanx Not Included!)

Me in 2008 and me in 2018…crazy right!

In the past, I’ve had writer’s block and I always used the excuse of not having anything going on in my life to write about. I realized that the issue wasn’t that I had run out of things to write about  but the real issue was because I put restrictions on my writing. I wanted my posts to focus on triumph and overcoming obstacles without actually discussing the process. For example, I wanted to post about having a healthier lifestyle without actually discussing where I am health wise now and what occurred in my  life to get to this point. Even though I am anxious to get to the finish line, I have to acknowledge what is happening in the present and be completely honest with my readers and most importantly, myself.

I’ve been considered “thin” ever since I could remember. I could eat what I wanted without gaining weight and although I didn’t have a super flat stomach, it was flat enough for me not to have to suck it in while putting on jeans and I could wear tight clothes without having the appearance of a pudge. Although I always wanted to be a bit thicker especially when I was younger and was teased for being skinny, I eventually came to terms that I would never be super curvaceous and I was okay with that for the most part. When I turned 30 though, things started to change.

I started gaining weight slowly but surely. It wasn’t that noticeable to anyone but I could see the difference. My clothes started to fit a bit tighter and I went up a bra size but it was still manageable and because I was still technically thin, it wasn’t a big deal. However, between the Summer/Fall of 2017 and Winter 2018, it’s like my body went through a crazy change and I put on an extra 15 pounds which hit my boobs, stomach and thighs the hardest. Leggings didn’t look as good on me anymore in a size small and although my favorite pair of jeans still fit because they were super stretchy, holes developed in the thigh area from rubbing together. I came to find out that a lot of thicker women have this problem but I always had a thigh gap so I was oblivious to this issue. My boobs went up another size and although I’m still small compared to a lot of my friends, I’m definitely not flat chested like I was in my younger years. This new body that felt like it came out of nowhere was foreign to me and I wasn’t completely comfortable in my own skin anymore. I had to buy new jeans, bras and even a pair of Spanx because with the new weight in my boobs and thighs came an unwanted present in my stomach area in the form of a pudge/gut whatever you want to call it!  I know that a lot of women gain weight as they get older but my mother was always small and so are many of the women in my family so I felt like an oddball of sorts. I can’t say that anyone made me feel bad about my weight because I’ve received a lot of compliments on how good the weight gain looked on me and when I did the 10 year challenge (as seen in the pic above) I realized that the extra weight makes me look more mature and womanly. Even though most of my old clothes don’ fit me anymore, I do like the fact that the new clothes I’ve bought enhance my curves and make me feel sexy/cute/mature etc. depending on what I’m wearing. With that being said, although I don’t want to go back to the size that I was in my 20’s, I do want to be fit and more toned and for that to happen, I have to eat better and exercise more. I walk a lot but I eat terribly (dairy, pasta, bread and rice are my weaknesses!) and I don’t drink enough water (can’t stand the taste or lack thereof!) I’ve been on diets, cleanses and changed my eating habits but usually around the 2 week mark, I give up. I know it’s mind over matter but I haven’t been completely ready mentally yet to let go of comfort foods and bad habits in order to get to my goal of being slim/thick lol

This post is definitely not a pity party cause I do work with what I have and I like what I see for the most part when I look in the mirror at my shape. I am not at the love stage yet and I know that diet and exercise aren’t the only things that have to change for me to completely embrace the new me. I have to stop comparing myself to others (especially on social media) and while it is good to always work on yourself, being overly critical will keep negative energy around me and I definitely don’t need that. I always say that I am a work in progress and when I get this whole healthy lifestyle journey together, I will definitely share it with you guys! If you have any suggestions on what has worked for you, let me know in the comments:)

I’ll be back on Friday with a new post but until then be sure to love and live luxuriously!

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My Healthy Lifestyle Journey: Part Deux

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My goal is to look like this give or take 5 pounds!

Good Morning! I told myself that 2016 would be the year where I would give 100% to everything that I set out to do. Like the saying goes: Go big or go home and that’s what I intend on doing. I told myself that instead of waiting around for jobs to call me back for positions that I really don’t have the passion for, I’d do freelance work and control my schedule by working from home. I decided to do social media consulting from the luxury of mi casa and I work as director at the daycare center for a few hours in the morning and afternoon. I told myself that I would abstain from any sexual activity until I was in a committed relationship and I’ve been celibate for a few months now so I’m proud of myself. After I started getting my mind right and my finances in order, I knew I had to start working on my physical health and I could afford to do so since I have more time and a bit more $$$ in my pocket!

Yesterday marked the first day that I started working out and eating healthier. I started the PiYo Workout DVD from Beachbody. It is a workout that combines Pilates and Yoga techniques and I love both forms of exercise so I figured I’d try it out. The first workout I did yesterday was a bit intense but rewarding so I’m looking forward to the workout challenges that will come. As far as eating goes, I wasn’t really hungry so I didn’t eat much but the little that I did eat was healthy for the most part. I told myself that today would be better and I vow to keep that promise. My goal is to have a leaner and toned figure by my 30th birthday on May 31st. I’m going on a cruise to the Bahamas so my goal is to look right in my bikini!

I’ve realized that I have to think about the result instead of my current situation for me to stay determined and motivated. This goes for my fitness regimen but also applies to all of my personal and professional goals. When all is said and done. I want to live the best life possible and that will only happen if I push myself and stop creating limitations. Anything is possible and I intend for my life to be a shining example of that.

 

I will update you all on my healthy lifestyle journey and plan on showing you guys a before and after picture on my birthday so make sure you keep checking back to see my progress!

 

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!

Getting My Body (and mind) Right!

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Happy Labor Day everyone! While most of us are off from work/school and enjoying the day out at barbeques, parades and festivals, I’ll be at home focused on eating right and exercising. Why you ask? I chose today to start off my new fitness routine which includes eating things like egg whites, almond butter and oatmeal (not the kind with all the sugar in the instant packets but the plain oats lol) and doing an at home workout plan that consists of crunches, sit ups and squats. I am not really big on cookout food so I don’t miss not eating burgers and hot dogs but pasta and white bread are my weaknesses so I am going to miss my baked ziti and buttered rolls for dinner once a week lol. I decided that even though most of the foods I like taste really good, they aren’t good for you. Last summer, I was having really bad stomach issues. I was bloated, constipated and in pain for most of July 2014 and taking laxatives didn’t help much. Things eventually went back to normal but I didn’t understand why I felt so terrible. I ended up telling the doctor about my past issues at my last checkup and she told me that it was because of my diet. The bread and cheese weren’t digesting properly and I wasn’t drinking enough water to cleanse my system out so I became backed up. She suggested that I incorporate more fruits and veggies in my diet and eat pasta and bread in moderation. I knew she was right but I wasn’t sure where to start. Then I saw a pic of my friend on Instagram that changed everything for me.

My childhood friend Nedeline and I  lost touch after she moved away in 3rd grade. Fast forward to about 20 years later through the magic of Facebook, we were able to reconnect. The little girl I remembered had changed drastically. While my friend was always thin, she wasn’t the fit and fabulous woman who I see today. I couldn’t believe that she was in such amazing shape. She looked like one of those women that I see on commercials for workout dvds. I was blown away and I wanted to know exactly how she did it. It turns out that she is a “fitness entrepreneur” who has her own company called “Hardgirlz”.  She’s entered fitness competitions and through “Hardgirlz”,  helps people with their own fitness journeys. I started making a lot of changes in my life that were good for the mind and soul but along the way, I stopped focusing so much on my body. Seeing a pic of her on my Instagram feed was a sign that I needed to make a major change that would not only help me to become a healthier and more active person but would allow me to take back the control that I let food have over me. My family has a history of heart disease and for me to have a better chance at a longer life, I need to improve my eating and exercise habits now while I am still young so my body will thank me later. With Nedeline’s help, I feel that I will be very successful in maintaining this new lifestyle. I will be updating you all on my journey so you will see pics and all of that as the weeks progress so stay tuned!

Follow Hardgirlz on Instagram (@_hardgirlz) for inspiring pics and how to start your own fitness journey!

 

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!

The Power of Positive Thinking

Positive thinking 1Every year, I tell myself that things will be different as far as the way I look at situations. I would always say the Maya Angelou quote “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude” to myself and live life through that perspective. I realize that it is easier said than done and when things go badly, I am quick to resort to the old patterns and behaviors. I tend to let negative situations consume me and while I end up getting out of the rut eventually, I end up feeling emotionally drained and have to work harder to put the pieces back together. Two of my goals at the beginning of the year were to start working out and start meditating so I would be able to strengthen my physical and mental state of being. I worked out at home at the beginning of January and went to 2 yoga classes in April before I lost interest in each activity. I knew why I lost interest in working out (I wasn’t ready mentally) but yoga was something that was supposed to help the mind, body and soul and I enjoyed the classes I went to but that spark that I had at the beginning of the sessions faded away as weeks went by. I let other issues caused by things out of my control bring me down and take away my passion for Yoga and anything else that would be a positive influence or change in my life.

I had an epiphany last night while thinking about what to write today and wanted to share it with all of you. As much as I want to work out and be fit, I first need to work on my mental and spiritual state and I want to start by reading books that will motivate, enlighten and encourage me. I plan on reading “Super Rich” by Russell Simmons( which I have had for years now and never got around to reading it) and finish reading “The Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene.  I will also look to others who have faced adversity and come out on top. I feel that Oprah is definitely one of those people who have been a positive influence on my life. I am so excited about going to her  “The Life You Want” tour in September because I feel that being around like-minded people and hearing one of my inspirations speak about bringing positive energy into your  life will uplift my spirits. I also promised myself that I would continue with Yoga because I felt better about myself and my life after leaving the classes and I won’t let anyone or anything get in the way of that. Last but not least, I want to speak positive quotes and affirmations into my life every day especially when I am feeling down and out. I feel that these things will improve my mental and spiritual state and when you feel good internally, I feel that the external will follow. If you have any quotes, affirmations or tips on positive thinking, post them here and I’ll share some of mine throughout the week. Much love and happiness to all of you!

Remember to Love and Live Luxuriously!