Snow Day Revelations/Going on Hiatus

Hey everyone! It’s the first full week of February and I can’t believe that this is my first post of 2017. I didn’t plan on things being this way but the same old issues keep coming up mainly my lack of inspiration and motivation. I am off from work for the first time since Christmas break because of the snow and while I was having a lazy day in bed, I was finally inspired to write something! I told myself in 2017 there would be no more “woe is me” posts and I intend on keeping it that way but I also need to be honest with myself and my readers: I am not feeling the direction that I’ve taken with the site over the past couple of years, well more the execution of my ideas because it has brought me to the point where 6+ years into blogging/vlogging, I still feel like I haven’t really gotten into the swing of things and I’ve realized that is because I am still trying to figure out what I want for myself and for my life.

c83e4e9f3e567602e964d7d9d9c77ff7My behind the scenes team is always changing and the lack of consistency with that has hindered me greatly. I felt like if I didn’t have the team behind me that believed in me and my vision, maybe there was something wrong with what I was doing. What I failed to realize is that I was the foundation that everything else is built upon. If I didn’t believe in myself or my vision, it didn’t matter who was on my team, the vision would never come to life because of the shaky foundation that I erected.  When I came to the realization that my foundation wasn’t solid because of  the issues I was dealing with in my life up until that point, I knew that before I could build an empire or go after my dream of being the “Internet Oprah”, I had to work on becoming the best version of myself outside of the internet. I have a friend that is also a health/wellness coach that has helped me create the version of myself that I’ve always desired. I am working on having a healthier lifestyle (sooooo hard for someone who loves pasta and dairy foods!) but most importantly, I am learning that every day is a new day and instead of living in the past, I have to live in the present and plan for the future so I can get to where I want to be. Life is not a race and the only person I am competing with is the woman in the mirror so as long as I uplift myself and bring positive energy into everything I did, I will attract what it is that I want. Seems so simple right! It’s harder than any physical workout though because I have to change my way of thinking and way I view myself. I always say I am a work in progress and 2017 is when the world will see the fruits of all my hard work and labor so watch out!

With all that being said, I don’t know exactly when my next post will be. I am not giving up on the site but I am taking a hiatus so I can figure out what I want to do and how to execute it flawlessly. I plan on coming back after my mini vacation in March with updates on my progress and how I plan to switch things up with the “Amore Luxe” brand. Thank you for you love, patience and support and I will be back before you know it! 

 

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!

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#MotivationMonday: Every day is a new beginning

every-new-day-is-a-chance-to-change-your-life-20130809592Good Afternoon! I spent all weekend trying to think of what to write and was hesitant to talk about the topic I came up with initially because it wasn’t truly authentic to what was going on in my life. It felt like a filler post and I told myself I didn’t want to do those type of posts just to have something up so I was going to wait until Wednesday to post until I saw my friend’s Facebook post. My homie Issac is someone I can always count on for inspiring/motivational posts and today was no different. In his FB post from this morning, he said “One of our most powerful abilities: The ability to change our minds..and don’t forget: you can always do it.” and that one statement was a catalyst in writing this post.

I realized that I was so focused on what I had done in the past and felt stuck in many ways in my present predicament. Even though I know that most of what I am going through is mental, it wasn’t until I read his post that I really understood that I am the one that can enact change in my life and that changing my mind or my perspective doesn’t mean I am wishy-washy but shows that I am being true to who I am. Now I am not saying that you should change your mind on everything every day, but use each day as a new beginning to right the wrongs from the past and to create/refine your vision for the future. We may not know what tomorrow will bring but if we can start and end each day with passion and purpose and the things we want are within our reach. I can’t speak for others but I have a lot to work on but instead of locking myself to specific times and dates for goals, I feel that taking things one step at a time and working on being positive and believing in myself and everything I want to achieve. Most importantly, I have to remember that every day is a new beginning and another chance to make things right:)

 

I think I am going to make an end of the year vision board that will be a starting point for everything I want to accomplish in 2017. Who’s with me??? If you’re down, make sure you like/comment/share because I would love to see what ideas you all come up with!

 

I hope everyone has a positive and productive week and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

Do Better

71-2Good Afternoon everyone! I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend. I really didn’t do much besides watch tv and surf the internet and lurked a bit on social media. In fact, a Facebook conversation I had with my ex inspired me to write this post. It wasn’t drama filled really but I had an epiphany moment that I wanted to share with you all in hopes that you can gain just as much insight as I did.

Here is a bit of our back story before I get into last night’s Facebook conversation: My ex who shall remain nameless was my first everything: first love, first person I was intimate with and the first person who broke me down before he broke my heart. I was 19 when we met and was an insecure college student with no direction or purpose. I was living in Atlanta with my then friend from college and I wanted something new and exciting to happen to me like I saw on tv and in the movies. As I was leaving Wal-Mart on Labor Day in 2005, I saw this guy who was just too cute for words. He had the trendy attire on for that time (oversized white tee and baggy shorts), strategically placed tats on his arms and a fitted that completed the look. This insanely cute guy was right there in the middle of Wal-Mart’s parking lot and he was giving me the same lustful look that I was giving him. “How could this be?” I’m thinking to myself. I’m still skinny with braces and although I ditched the glasses for contacts by this time, I am still just as awkward as I was in high school so he couldn’t be remotely interested in me but indeed he was. We exchanged numbers and that was the beginning of a very stressful, emotionally volatile relationship. He knew about my insecurities because I was open and honest about my past and how I felt about myself. He used my weaknesses to manipulate me and would threaten to break up with me over petty things that he didn’t like. This happened for about 9 months and then when tragedy struck in my life right before my 20th birthday, he was cold and distant and it was then that I knew that I couldn’t be with him anymore. I had already had a lot of drama in my life from having to move 3 times to being low on funds in a place where I had almost no family and the one person I depended on, the one person who meant so much to me was emotionally (and physically) MIA. That’s when I knew that this wasn’t the man I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. As much as I loved him, I had to love myself more.

Surprisingly, we kept in touch over the years. I would see him from time to time when I would go back to Atlanta and he visited me a few times up in Jersey but I never let myself get emotionally attached like I had previously. He apologized for the way he treated me when we were together but his actions and attitude hadn’t changed. My biggest fear was getting sucked back in to the drama and messiness that existed 10 years ago so I attempted to have boundaries in place so I wouldn’t make the same mistakes. I still wanted to stay cool with him (big mistake) so I’d entertain conversations but last night’s conversation was the nail in the coffin that really cemented the ending of any relationship that ever existed between us.

For the past year, I have been adamant about not settling for any type of non-committed relationship. In other words, I am not trying to have a friend with benefits, f*ck buddy, or be involved in a “situationship”. The next relationship I will enter will be a monogamous and committed one and we will both be on the same page as it relates to what we want from each other. Until that happens, I’ve vowed to be celibate. When I tried to explain this to my ex, he accused me of being “stuck up” and acting like I was better than him. In the past, I was guilty of fooling around with him when I wasn’t involved with anyone but once I told him that this was no longer an option, he became irate. The angry and manipulative person that I was used to seeing showed up once again and instead of continuing to explain myself to someone who never added anything positive to my life, I decided to end the conversation and wished him well. I’ve realized that to be a better person, you have to do better for yourself. Engaging in a war of words with him was not only pointless but brought me down to his level. Actions speak louder than words so instead of talking about what I want and what I will and will not tolerate, I will let my actions speak for themselves. I have nothing to prove to him or anyone else so my goal is to no longer invest time or energy into people or things that won’t benefit me physically, mentally or spiritually in the long run. Even though things between my ex and I didn’t work out, he taught me a lot about myself and helped me to see that a shared past and mutual attraction are not enough to build and sustain a meaningful and beneficial relationship. Every lesson is a blessing and I’ve learned a lot from my ex and now know that I need to let the past stay in the past.

Have you ever been in a similar situation with an ex? How did you handle it? Let me know in the comments section below! Also, be sure to like and share this post if you enjoyed reading! Check back on Wednesday for my next post 🙂

 

Until then, always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

 

Insecure

Yup, that's me with the poofy hair and glasses lol

Yup, that’s me with the poofy hair and glasses :p

Hey everyone! Before I get into today’s topic, I just want to let everyone know that I will be live on Facebook a week from today on the 26th. The topic is “Eliminating Limitations” and I will be discussing how I am trying to eliminate all the limitations that have stood in my way. I want to hear your thoughts on the subject so hit me up and I will share them on air next Wednesday! Now back to today’s topic! I am OBSESSED with YouTube vlogger and now TV star Issa Rae and her new show “Insecure” If you haven’t seen it, here’s a summary of what the show is about:

Created by Issa Rae and Larry Wilmore, the comedy series Insecure explores the black female experience. Rae stars as Issa and Yvonne Orji stars as Molly. Over the course of the season, Issa attempts to figure out what she wants out of life and how to take control of it, while fumbling her way through this journey. Molly, a corporate attorney who appears to have everything together professionally, struggles inside as she looks for external ways to fix her life.

Meanwhile, Issa’s boyfriend, Lawrence (Jay Ellis), who has fallen victim to complacency, works to get his own act together. Frieda (Lisa Joyce), Issa’s overeager white co-worker, whose enthusiasm is both annoying and endearing, is at the crux of Issa’s racial frustrations at work. 

Issa Rae wrote the New York Times bestseller The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl, which was published in 2015. Her web content has garnered more than 25 million views and over 200,000 subscribers on YouTube. In addition to making the Forbes 30 Under 30 list twice and winning the 2012 Shorty Award for Best Web Show for her hit series Awkward Black Girl, she has worked on web content for Pharrell Williams, Tracey Edmonds and numerous others.

Insecure was created by Issa Rae and Larry Wilmore; executive produced by Issa Rae, Prentice Penny, Melina Matsoukas, Michael Rotenberg, Dave Becky and Jonathan Berry. (courtesy of hbo.com)

 

I watched the premiere episode last month on demand and I was instantly intrigued. It’s rare that I find characters that I can relate to on television especially ones that put their insecurities on display. As a teen in the late 90’s/early 2000’s, I grew up watching shows like Family Matters, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, 90210 and Boy Meets World among others. Even though there was teenage angst, the teens on these shows always solved their issues in one episode and looked flawless while doing so. If only real life were that easy! Their insecurities seemed so insignificant compared to mine and being young and naive, I thought that I was the only one that had issues with my looks and overall demeanor. Like Issa, I was an “awkward black girl”  but my awkwardness consisted of a skinny frame, glasses and braces. If I was cast on a tv show, I’d be the quintessential geek that always seemed to fade into the background. The geek on tv wasn’t the one that had the attention of the opposite sex so she usually just stayed to herself and buried herself in her books (or in my case my Usher VHS tapes and magazines). In my mind, no one could relate to what I was going through so especially since all the black girls on tv were beautiful and cool I kept my struggles to myself. Then a few years later when I was in my early 20’s, blogging and social media sites became mainstream and my life changed forever. Through blogging, I was able to share my stories and connect with others who had been through similar experiences. I could spread the word through sites such as Twitter and Facebook and I could even stream live and post videos on YouTube. This took the Internet to a whole new level and I had the opportunity to meet people who I would never come in contact with under normal circumstances and was able to express my thoughts and feelings as well as enjoy others forms of expressions. Now this is where Issa Rae comes in!

I was familiar with Issa’s YouTube series “The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl” but didn’t really pay attention until I heard about her semi-autobiographical series “Insecure” being picked up on HBO. I thought to myself “Who is this woman and how did she get a series deal with HBO?” I just had to investigate and find out more. Through my investigation, I found a woman who was perfectly imperfect. She was quirky and weird but it worked for her. I admired her honesty and transparency and although it was content created for YouTube and television, it was authentic and most importantly, I could relate to all of it. I too tend to talk to myself when I need to vent. I also feel like everyone is doing better in life than me and as far as relationships go, I’ve had bad luck with men just like Issa (that’s why I’m abstaining from all things related to the opposite sex for now lol) Finally, I found someone who gets it, who gets me and even though I can only see her through my laptop/phone/tv screen, I know she is speaking to me and other women like myself who embrace our quirks, awkwardness and even our insecurities and not let these things hold us back from feeling confident, beautiful and successful. Issa is a prime example of how being who you are and not fitting any particular mold is the right way to go in all aspects of life! One of my goals is to tell her all of this in person so stay tuned for that epic moment 😀 Dream big or not at all!

 

You can view the trailer for Issa’s new HBO series “Insecure” below  and check back on Friday for my next post! Much love to you all and always remember to love and live luxuriously!