I kept telling myself that I would talk about this fear of mine once I faced it head on but then I kept putting it off because I didn’t want to feel like a failure if I wasn’t able to overcome it. I have had a fear of driving ever since I could remember and combined with my fear of failure, I have been hesitant to take my road test again after failing it the first time 3 years ago. I don’t like the feeling I get when I can’t do something properly and although taking the written test wasn’t hard (had to take it 3 times over the last 6 years after letting my permit expire) when it came to facing the road test, I always pushed back the date because I never felt like I was ready. I tried figuring out why I was so afraid behind the wheel and I have come to the conclusion that although I am afraid of failure, my biggest issue is my fear of death. I am not worried about my demise but being responsible for someone else’s life is a very scary thing and even if I am the most careful driver, things can happen. I know that thinking this way is only holding me back but when I get behind the wheel, I can’t completely relax because of it. I start over thinking every little thing and simple tasks become complicated inside my jumbled mind. I have to get over this to get my license and most importantly. to gain control over my life and my destiny. Fear can be crippling mentally and physically and I don’t like the fact that I am the one that’s standing in my way. So what should I do?
At first I wasn’t sure of what the answer was but after getting to the root of my fears, I know to deal with my fear of driving and fear of failure I have to understand that even though I may have some control over my life, I can’t control outside factors and how others think and act. There is only but so much that I can control and I have believe in myself and God that everything will be alright. Letting go and having faith is one of the hardest things but to face your fears, you have to be ready to deal with the outcome, no matter what it is. Although my fear is of driving, this can apply to any fear or obstacle you may have. My road test is 2 weeks away and I promised myself that I would not cancel no matter what because I need to take it again and even if I do fail, I can always go back in 2 weeks and try again. There is a quote by Thomas Edison that goes, “”I have not failed. I’ve just found 10000 ways that won’t work” and once you look at failure and life from that perspective, it changes everything. Wish me luck:)
Love and live luxuriously!
It’s almost the end of February and I told myself that I would start 2014 off differently. I was going to have a different mindset this time around because change begins in the mind before it can actually be seen with the eyes. I started working out (doing the 30 day ab and squat exercises) eating healthy (and counting calories) and I would post regularly on the site. I was good up until the last week of January lol…I don’t know what happened but I just lost interest in the workouts and started going back to my old eating habits. And as far as the site, well I haven’t posted in weeks until today so you know how that turned out. I started off so gung-ho about everything but then the passion and energy started to evaporate and I ended up in the same place I started. I felt like a failure and anyone that knows me knows that I hate to fail. I understand that failure is apart of life but I hate the feeling that I get when I try something but for whatever reason, things don’t go as expected and I am left feeling defeated and disappointed. I started thinking about why I couldn’t complete the goals I set out to do and I realized that even though I was attempting to do the physical changes, I really didn’t prepare myself mentally for them so when things became too tough, my mental couldn’t take it anymore and I went back to the old way of doing things. I was reading Necole Bitchie’s personal blog last night and she had a post titled “You Will Not Always Win”(iamnecole.com/blog/you-will-not-always-win/). She discussed how the most successful people were rejected and turned away but that in the end, they moved on to something bigger and better. These people knew that failure didn’t mean that they should give up but that instead, try harder or do something different. As long as you are happy and are doing what you love to do, you won’t fail in the end. So today I told myself that I would figure out focusing on what makes me happy and working on goals related to that. I want to be in a better frame of mind and promote positivity and self-love and be a shining example of a person who has overcome the obstacles placed in her way and became the best version of herself that she could be. Only then will I be able to do all the things I want to do and meet all of those goals and handle rejection and failure when it comes my way. Failure is inevitable but it is all how you handle it. I have run away from it but now I know that to get to that next level, I have to face it head on and bounce back. Instead of aiming for perfection, I am working on being happy and honest with myself. We are all a work in progress and everyday is a new day to improve the condition of our lives and the lives around us. I would love to hear more about your journey. How did you overcome the obstacles in your path? What motivates you to get out there and do your very best? Let me know in the comments section below! I look forward to reading your replies!