Random Thoughts Part I

Good Morning! I know that I was supposed to post on Wednesday but I literally could not think of anything to write about. Between work and my clients for my side hustle, I was mentally drained. I feel like I’m playing catch up after being stagnant for so long and it finally caught up with me. I know I was adamant about not having any excuses but I also don’t want to appear as if I am going back to my old ways especially after finally finding my groove. After going through my list of topics that were previously written and not feeling inspired, I figured I would just discuss exactly what is going on with me. I usually do this in the form of a voice note but since I figured that being completely transparent is what I promised I would do, why not fill my readers in with what’s going on in this crazy mind of mine and just maybe someone out there can relate! Here goes!

I am back at the daycare center as the director. My biggest fear with going back was feeling how I felt back at the end of 2017 right before I decided to leave. I felt stuck and stagnant in a place that didn’t fulfill me and although the job was fairly easy and convenient, I wanted a change. After leaving, the feeling of dread and depression temporarily lifted but because I didn’t put in the effort to find a new job after leaving my old one, I started feeling stuck again but I also was broke which made a bad situation even worse. After over a year of feeling blah and doing nothing about it, this past summer, the spark of inspiration that I was craving came in the form of a podcast that my friend DJ and I started. Working on the podcast gave me motivation to come back to the site and to get my life back on track. When I made the decision to live my best life, things started falling into place. I started gaining more clients for my writing composition services and the director job was offered to me again but I was able to choose my own hours and work on my own terms which gave me the freedom I needed to do other things. I am still looking for something that is more fulfilling and that pays better but for now, the daycare and my side hustle are helping me get my finances and my life back on track.

As far as my personal life is concerned, the last guy I was seeing went MIA and I think its because he’s got a baby on the way. Since we have history and had gotten to a point where we were being really open with each other, I thought that things would be different this time around but if the baby story is true, then his distance makes sense. I am not even mad at him (which is really big for me because he’s pissed me off in the past by doing way less) but I am disappointed in the way that things have gone down and the fact that we haven’t spoken and regardless of whatever is going on, I thought our friendship would always remain intact. Now I am not so sure but instead of stressing about it, I’m letting go because the truth will come to light eventually and I’ll know everything I need to know when it does. Needless to say, I’ve decided to invest my time and energy into other areas of my life instead of worrying about finding the one. I’ve been dabbling in the online dating sites (including the Facebook Dating app which hasn’t shown any real prospects so far) but mainly out of boredom and curiosity. I am definitely not going back to anyone in my past so the next man that comes in my life will be someone completely new. There is someone I am interested in but I’m not ready for a man like him in my life and he is end game but until then, I am going to live my best(solo) life and have hella fun while doing it:)

Yup I think that about covers it! Not sure what next week’s posts will be about but I’ll come up with something! If you have any topics you want me to discuss, hit me up on IG @amoreluxe_ and let me know! Until then, have an amazing weekend and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

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Wisdom Wednesday: Believe In Yourself

believeinyourselfGood Morning! It’s been almost 3 weeks since my last post and I told myself that I couldn’t keep going weeks without posting but it’s been tough. I’ve got so much on my mind and I feel like I’m being repetitive if I keep talking about the same issues over and over. I wanted to make a post when something interesting/exciting happened but my life feels like it’s been at a standstill just going through the motions instead of living life to the fullest. I knew that the only person stopping me was me but I have tried to figure out what my problem is and I’ve realized that it’s my outlook on life. If I am in a positive state of mind, I’m going to attract positive energy. The same goes for being negative. It’s difficult to think positive when it seems like nothing is going right but sometimes, that’s all you’ve got!

I’m learning that in order for me to get to where I need to be, I have to convince myself that no matter what happens, as long as I’m persistent and consistent, I will get to where I want to be. Trying to force or convince others to feel a certain way about me or what I’m trying to accomplish is pointless because it’s saying that my belief in myself isn’t strong enough to withstand criticism or judgment. When you believe in something enough, no one can tell you otherwise and before I can go after all of my goals and dreams full force, I’ve got to use that positive energy and start truly believing in myself and my gifts/abilities. Once I master that, I will be unstoppable:)

I’ve got a few things that I want to do before the end of the year and I’ll be sure to let everyone know about them when the time is right. Much love and happiness to everyone and I’ll talk to you guys soon!
Always remember to love and live luxuriously!

What Is Love?

What is love if you’re not here with me?
What is love if it’s not guaranteed?
What is love if you just have to leave?
What is love?

Good Morning! I was watching Fox’s newest series “Empire” Wednesday night and I couldn’t get this song (sung beautifully by Veronika Bozeman) out of my head. Her character had to keep singing the song over because the head of the label Lucious Lyon (played by Terrence Howard) wasn’t satisfied with her performance. He went into the recording booth and told her to think about when her brother was shot and she had to identify his body. Something clicked and she gave a heartbreaking but beautiful performance.

After listening to the lyrics, I realized that the song could be about the typical man/woman choosing to leave because they weren’t satisfied but I could also see it from another perspective. The lyrics could be asking what is the point of loving someone with everything you have if they are going to leave your life whether it’s by choice or not. I thought about my father and how I didn’t say I love you to him as much as I should have. I took our time for granted and now it feels like it’s too late.

Being vulnerable and exposing yourself only to be left with disappointment seems pointless but what other choice do we have? Living a life without giving and receiving love is not only lonely but it’s draining to the soul. Nothing lasts forever but to be the best version of yourself and to live completely and freely will ensure that you have a fulfilling life. I intend to love everyone and everything that matters to me with all my heart and give all I have to offer and if they happen to slip away, I won’t have any regrets because I gave them the best of me and hopefully made their lives better with my presence. I hope my father would be able to say the same:)

Make sure you come back on Monday because I plan on making an announcement!

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!

My inspiration

Looking for some inspiration can you be my muse…promise to give you all of myself because I have nothing left to lose

I think that a writer’s biggest challenge is figuring out what exactly it is that they want to write about. There are so many topics that have been covered but a writer must find their own voice when speaking about various topics and make their ideas and opinions clear and concise so that people can understand. Whenever I post a blog entry, I want people to be able to understand where I am coming from but most importantly, relate to me on some level. Even if the reader hasn’t been through that particular experience that I’m discussing, they can empathize and relate to the feelings that came from said experience. I think that I am a decent writer but in the past few years, public speaking has been my preferred source of speaking my mind. I feel that reading the words I write doesn’t give off that same spark of energy that I want to release to the world and I love direct dialogue that often doesn’t come when posting on a blog. Most importantly. i love the interaction and verbal and non-verbal communication that occurs when I am giving a speech or being featured on a panel. My biggest inspiration comes from others stories and experiences and although talking is my preferred method of communication, I can’t reach out and talk to everyone so writing is the best way to interact with others no matter where they are in the world.

I love watching YouTube clips of inspirational people. Ellen’s talk show is the first YouTube page I go to when I want to watch everyday people be selfless for the safety and well-being of others. I created “The Angielala Experience” as a way to help uplift and inspire others by sharing my experiences in love and life. Along the way, I lost sight of my purpose and passion but talking to my friends and complete strangers who email me and tell me that they love what I do and the messages I share gives me so much joy and hope and I know that no matter what happens, I have people who believe in me and what I do and you all are my biggest inspiration.

Much love to you and remember to love.laugh.live.life