Good Morning! Last night as I was deciding what I wanted today’s challenge to be, I started thinking about the negative traits that I wanted to change about myself and one of them was gossiping. I am not as bad as some of my friends and family members but I still do indulge in gossip from time to time and that says more about my character than the person or people who I am speaking of. I can’t pretend that I like everything someone says or does but instead of focusing on the things that aren’t appealing or of interest of me when it comes to their appearance, behavior or overall personality, I could use that same time and effort into working on my life and the person I want to become. Gossip comes from a negative place and even though not all of it is meant to be malicious and hurtful (think about the funny and entertaining gossip blogs many of you read on a daily basis), it still demonstrates anger, envy, jealousy and other characteristics that are harmful to one’s mental well-being. They say misery loves company and a bunch of gossipers can spread misery and negative energy wherever they go.
I know how difficult it can be to stay away from gossip especially when your coworkers are talking about how much they can’t stand their boss or you turn on the television and watch yet another celebrity get bashed on TMZ but today, try your hardest to refrain from engaging in the chatter. Change the subject or walk away once someone attempts to bring you into the negative conversation. Turn the channel on the television or close out of the window of the site that is feeding negative energy about someone. Engage in other activities that are uplifting to yourself and others and you will feel better about yourself and life in general. Instead of the possibility of guilt or remorse after bashing someone, your confidence will rise because you didn’t have to put someone down to feel better about yourself and that is what this challenge and overall campaign is about. Affecting others in a favorable way will bring about good energy in your own life and will be clear to anyone who encounters you.
I made a conscious decision not to post challenges everyday because I don’t want this challenge to feel like work. On the “off” days, I want everyone to reflect on their progress so far and create goals that will bring them into a more confident frame of mind. I want to thank everyone who made it through week one of the “30 Day Confidence Challenge” and for those who are just starting, here’s a recap of the challenges so far:
Day 1: Finding “Me Time” https://amoreluxe.com/2015/04/09/day-1-confidence-challenge-treat-yourself-to-some-me-time/
Day 2: “Smile” https://amoreluxe.com/2015/04/10/day-2-confidence-challenge-smile/
Day 3 and Day 4: Challenge Break to work on “Confidence Goals”
Day 5: “Think Positive” https://amoreluxe.com/2015/04/13/day-5-confidence-challenge-think-positive/
Day 6- Reflection on Confidence Progress so far
Sharing is caring! Share these posts on your social media pages (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram) and use the hashtags #confidencechallenge and #confidencecampaign while posting! I want to know how you guys feel about the campaign and the challenges that you are facing in your life as well so make sure you comment and keep me updated. I have so many things in store for “Amore Luxe” and the “Confidence Campaign” in the months ahead so stay tuned:)
Always remember to love and live luxuriously!
Good Afternoon! I wanted to discuss an issue that I have dealt with in my personal life for quite sometime. I mentioned this briefly in an earlier post of mine but I didn’t realize how serious this issue was until I started thinking about the changes I wanted to make in my life this year and what I would need to do to make sure that they were achieved. One of my major goals is to think and act in a positive way to attract positive energy into my life. I know that one way to attract positive energy into my space is to do things that make me happy and give me fulfillment and joy “Amore Luxe” and everything the site stands for fulfills me. Being able to share my message with others is also fulfilling and most importantly, being around family and friends who believe in me and urge me to be the best version of myself helps me to build myself up and stay strong no matter what obstacles come in my direction.
Unfortunately, not everyone in life will care about the things that you are doing or even want to see you do well. They will not usually say these things to you directly but instead will shut down every great idea that pops in your head and block any great opportunity that comes in your way. The telltale signs of “toxic” people are usually easy to spot Many times, these people are pessimists who don’t have anything positive going on in their lives. They have learned to see the glass as half empty and instead of changing their perspective on life, they decided to contaminate the minds and souls of the people who have positive energy radiating around them and have attracted love, success and anything else that they have desired and earned. Instead of trying to focus on what it is about this person that has brought them all of this good fortune and try to have some of these positive attributes for themselves, they find it easier to bring the positive person down to their level. They will do this by way of indirect insults, backhanded compliments and gossip. Gossip is like a virus that spreads and all of us are guilty and spreading gossip at one point or another. Gossip is usually malicious and is intended to insult and belittle the subject that is being spoken about. Toxic people have a sharp tongue and gossip is their weapon of choice to hurt others so they are no longer seen in a positive light. Toxic people will also try to corrupt the people with positive energy by gossiping about others and sucking them into the negativity. It is difficult to stop bad habits such as gossiping but bringing others down does not lift you up in any way shape or form.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. emphasized this point perfectly when he said “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” You have to be the better person and rise above the negativity by spreading positivity not only in your words but your actions. One of those actions that you will need to take is to dispose of the toxic people in your life. This is not wishing any ill will or harm to them but you cannot have them in your personal space and expect to grow and evolve. They are not ready to continue on this path that you are creating and do not deserve your time or energy. In order for you to be the best version of yourself, you have to let go of anyone or anything that is holding you back. These people may be a part of your family, one of your friends (which is the case for me) or anyone in your space that your deal with that tend to suck the light out of your soul. You won’t be able to shine with their dark spirit in your space so release them so their negative energy can float elsewhere.
I am a work in progress and am dealing with a toxic person in my life that I want to help but I know that I need to let go because dealing with them is draining. I may have some of the answers but applying them to my life will be necessary for me to get to the next level. I hope you are able to do the same:)
Always remember to love and live luxuriously!
“There always be haters that’s the way it is hater n*ggas marry hater b*tches and have hater kids”
Kanye West-Bring Me Down
This is one of my favorite songs by Kanye West. I could really relate to his music during this time in his career (his new stuff is a totally different story however!) and it was the perfect backdrop for the conversation I had the other night. I was having a talk with one of my girls on FB about women hating on other women. She has been doing well for herself but there were other women who were older than her in well respected positions spewing negativity behind her back. She couldn’t understand it because the women that are doing well for themselves and in better financial positions were the main sources of hate. We came to an agreement that misery loves company and that some aspect of their lives has to be in shambles and instead of dealing with those issues, they would rather tear someone else down to make themselves feel better. This type of immaturity is common in high school between females (Mean Girls, although exaggerated at parts is a good example) but once we graduate and enter the world of adulthood, one would think that the pettiness and drama from our high school days would be left behind. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. We see women gossip about other women all the time at the workplace amongst co-workers:
“Girl Tanya went on her paid vacation and came back looking like a supermodel. She must have gotten a facelift while she was there because there is NO way she could look that good by herself!”
“Jennifer, Have you noticed that Ashley keeps getting fatter by the day? She keeps saying its just weight gain from the baby but her daughter is 3 already! Makes no sense!”
and in the media headlines:
“Jessica Simpson’s horrendous weight gain places her Weight Watchers endorsement in jeopardy as well as her pending wedding”
My point is that we are around the negativity everyday. I have fed into it from time to time and became apart of the gossip and foolishness but as I started promoting the “Confidence Campaign” (Click on this post for more info (http://theangielalaexperience.com/2013/09/01/the-confidence-campaign/) I realized that whenever I became involved in negative behavior, it was because I was lacking in something in my own life and I thought bringing someone down to my level would help me feel better. It doesn’t and at the end of the day. why am I wasting time and energy on a situation that will not bring me any joy or happiness in the end? I can’t say that I won’t feed into the madness ever again but hopefully when I am in the middle of drama and negativity, I will catch myself and rise above it. Whenever I am a victim of someone else’s wrath of negative energy, I’ll remember that their actions do not reflect or speak on who I am as an entrepreneur/friend/lover/woman/individual but their current mental and spiritual space in their lives that they have to handle. The moral of this story: The only person that can bring me down is me:)