I am not my hair…at least that’s what I keep telling myself!


On the left: how I normally wear my hair On the right: the curly, wavy, poofy madness I’m currently rocking!

Good Afternoon! I knew that I was going to talk about my love/hate relationship with my hair since Sunday when I decided to wear my hair in its natural state. I haven’t had a relaxer since 2011 but I always wear my hair straight because it’s how I’ve worn my hair since I could remember. Whether it was a “doobie” (roller set hair that is taken out then wrapped around the head and secured with bobby pins) or a “silk press” (hair is flat ironed straight to look like relaxed hair), I have always rocked a sleek and polished style. I’ve worn other types of styles such as curly weaves and braids but I’ve never dared to wear my real hair in its natural state. After trying to manage my hair this summer with the heat and humidity and creating more heat damage as a result, I told myself that I would attempt to wear my hair in its natural state. So this past Sunday I shampooed and conditioned, then put two strand twists in my hair (well had my boss do it for me lol) and let it set overnight and took the two strand twists out the next morning and rocked the curl/wave that it made. When I took my hair out, the only way I could describe it is poofy lol! I wasn’t used to the increase in the volume of my hair and the curls were al over the place. I wasn’t sure if it looked bad or not but I knew I wasn’t comfortable with the style itself. It felt weird not embracing my natural hair and it made me feel like I was brainwashed by society because I feel inadequate unless my hair is straight and appears to be more manageable. I wanted my curls to look bouncy and lush like all the YouTube naturalists that I watch on a regular basis but I was left with undefined waves, curls and poofy madness! My hair wasn’t what I envisioned it to be but I wanted to get over my discomfort and rock this look so I have been for the past 3 days and slowly but surely, I’m embracing it!

I know that for many women of color, managing hair in its natural state is a process in itself because we have to find products that work with our hair type and texture as well as stay within a certain budget (hair products can get expensive!!!) and find the time to do our hair because it can take all day depending on the style. I don’t know if this is a look I can rock ALL the time but I’m definitely going to try to do it more often especially in the summer cause straightening my hair every few days isn’t an option for me. I’ll keep you guys in the loop with my progress 😉

Make sure you tune in tonight at 8pm EST because I will be live on Facebook. The topic is “Eliminating Limitations” and I will be discussing the limitations I’ve tried to eliminate including the ones related to appearance! Hope to see you all in the chat! Also, like/comment/share so we can spread the love and positivity! See you back here on Friday:)


Always remember to love and live luxuriously!


I Am Such A Knotty Girl


No rant this week, I hope I’m not disappointing anyone… I decided to enjoy this post. The last several weeks have been intense for me and I’m sure I’m not the only one who could use a little release therapy.

An Ode to Knotty Girls all across the nation…

This very second, this very minute I would shout it from the mountain tops, “I LOVE BEING A KNOTTY GIRL”. Growing up in my house wasn’t a cinematic event, my father got his hair cut once a week or so, and my mother spent a good half a day in the salon getting a touch up on her relaxer and a roller set. The only tools my mother used on her hair were a bag of pink rollers and a bottle of Miss Cool 5 setting lotion.

Then one day the epiphany, I came home from a normal day of junior high drama and almost passed out, my mother had chopped off all of her shoulder blade length, jet black (with a bride of Frankenstein grey streak in the front), thick hair. Hair so thick I remember people use to stop her and ask if it was a weave. Shortly after her chop my grandmother went natural, so seeing natural was all around me. I still hadn’t caught on, but that’s alright.

Fast forward to 2004, a tragic run in with a bad braid job caused me to have to take a trip to the chop shop… I cut all my hair down to about 2 inches long and haven’t looked back since. I love being a knotty, I’m happy being a knotty girl. Due to medical issues, and the various medications, extreme fatigue and sensitive skin my hair was not only shedding, it was suffering. However, I found that the further away I moved from using chemicals on my skin and in my hair the better my scalp and skin seemed to get. I went from having what looked like cradle cap, to a more manageable scalp that I could be proud of.

When I first started out all I needed was shampoo, conditioner, and some moisturizer. Apparently my hair and scalp have become progressively prissier over the years because now I have a product and a regimen for every special occasion, every season, and practically every daily option that could possibly pop up. I’ve tried Sizta2Sizta, Mixed Chicks, Miss Jessie’s, Carol’s Daughter and a host of other products; I should be getting paid for being a knotty girl by some of these places. I mean think about it, who wouldn’t like to get paid for being a knotty girl? *insert innocent girlish grin here*.

Jump to 2013 and now my friends say that they love that I’m such a knotty girl (everyone loves a knotty girl from time to time). They just couldn’t imagine if I wasn’t the knotty girl I am. I straightened my hair one day and my mother cried because she thought I had relaxed my hair.  I walked in my house the other day with a small package and my roommate’s sister asked me,” Oh, you getting ready to perm your hair?” I laughed so hard I ran into the wall. I actually have nightmares about accidentally relaxing my hair and not being able to get the chemical out of my hair quick enough for it to not straighten my hair…I’ve had both ups and downs on the road to my follicle freedom. I’ve been told that I would “be cute if I permed my hair.” I heard from people that they “don’t see how I deal with nappy hair everyday”… Then of course there are the people who approach me and love it, want to touch it, I even had a guy try to hug my fro. Yes, I said hug, it was seriously awkward.

I was a knotty girl before it was trending on twitter and had its own acronyms like BC (big chop) and TWA (teenie weenie afro). Being a knotty girl isn’t for everyone, but those of us who embrace it sure do have a lot of fun, because let’s face it; girls with kinks still get winks.

I am proud to be a knotty girl! Hair in rollers or plaits, I love being a knotty girl. Curlformers, or paper bag curls I’m a knotty girl, living in my knotty world. Shea butter creams, aloe vera gels and deep conditioning to untangle the tantrum my head has after a night of forgetting to tie up my hair. If you have a knotty girl in your world, hug them and let them know how much you appreciate them. I mean think about it, who else would you call when you need a natural nail remedy or a conditioning fix??? Who else would tell you that if you are broke, busted and disgusted you can use olive oil as a hair mask???

Who else but us knotty girls!