The Definition of a “Hater”


Ever since I could remember, I’ve heard the term “hater” being used in many ways for a number of reasons. I think that a hater can be defined as “A person who criticizes another person’s physical appearance, possessions attitude etc. because of jealousy/envy towards that person”. Many people feed into the critical aspect of “hating”  but tend to forget about the envy/jealousy aspect and accept/condone the negativity. I feel that this happens because bringing someone down to your level is easier than trying to uplift them and use them as motivation to bring yourself to a higher level in your life. As the saying goes “Misery loves company” and a lot of miserable people in the world that put more work in spreading negative energy instead of changing their mindset and attempting to see the good in everyone and everything.

I have to admit that I’ve had  “hater” moments especially when a person possessed something I desired or thought I wanted. Instead of acknowledging the positive attributes in the person that I wanted to have, I would look for the imperfections and highlight those instead. Doing these things time and time again didn’t give anything useful to my life and in fact kept me at a standstill. It was in one of these “hating” moments that I realized that I had to change the way I perceived others because I was only hurting myself. Now I’m not saying that I love everyone and everything because I don’t but to those people and things I don’t care for, I try to not to dwell on them and instead embrace the positive qualities in a person. I don’t urge hate towards others or to myself. Some people say “My haters are my motivators” but I don’t want to use negativity as a driving force to become a better version of myself. I embrace the people who bring positivity and happiness in life and are a good example for others. Only light can end darkness and I want my inner light to shine bright and bring out that same glow in others. I hope this post can be one of my shining moments šŸ™‚

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!

Bring Me Down

“There always be haters that’s the way it is hater n*ggas marry hater b*tches and have hater kids”

Kanye West-Bring Me Down

This is one of my favorite songs by Kanye West. I could really relate to his music during this time in his career (his new stuff is a totally different story however!) and it was the perfect backdrop for the conversation I had the other night. I was having a talk with one of my girls on FB about women hating on other women. She has been doing well for herself but there were other women who were older than her in well respected positions spewing negativity behind her back. She couldn’t understand it because the women that are doing well for themselves and in better financial positions were the main sources of hate. We came to an agreement that misery loves company and that some aspect of their lives has to be in shambles and instead of dealing with those issues, they would rather tear someone else down to make themselves feel better. This type of immaturity is common in high school between females (Mean Girls, although exaggerated at parts is a good example) but once we graduate and enter the world of adulthood, one would think that the pettiness and drama from our high school days would be left behind. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. We see women gossip about other women all the time at the workplace amongst co-workers:

“Girl Tanya went on her paid vacation and came back looking like a supermodel. She must have gotten a facelift while she was there because there is NO way she could look that good by herself!”

Amongst friends:

“Jennifer, Have you noticed that Ashley keeps getting fatter by the day? She keeps saying its just weight gain from the baby but her daughter is 3 already! Makes no sense!”

and in the media headlines:

“Jessica Simpson’s horrendous weight gain places her Weight Watchers endorsement in jeopardy as well as her pending wedding”

My point is that we are around the negativity everyday. I have fed into it from time to time and became apart of the gossip and foolishness but as I started promoting the “Confidence Campaign” (Click on this post for more info ( I realized that whenever I became involved in negative behavior, it was because I was lacking in something in my own life and I thought bringing someone down to my level would help me feel better. It doesn’t and at the end of the day. why am I wasting time and energy on a situation that will not bring me any joy or happiness in the end? I can’t say that I won’t feed into the madness ever again but hopefully when I am in the middle of drama and negativity, I will catch myself and rise above it. Whenever I am a victim of someone else’s wrath of negative energy, I’ll remember that their actions do not reflect or speak on who I am as an entrepreneur/friend/lover/woman/individual but their current mental and spiritual space in their lives that they have to handle. The moral of this story: The only person that can bring me down is me:)