Motivation Monday: Jharrel Jerome Wins Emmy

Good Morning! I was so excited to post about the Emmys because the person I was rooting for most won. If you haven’t figured out from the title who that is, let me type in all caps so you don’t miss the memo: JHARREL JEROME!!! Many of you first became aware of him from his role in Moonlight and although I though he did a good job in that particular role, I didn’t really pay attention to him until June 1st 2019. I remember that day vividly because it was the day after my birthday but also the day where I watched a cinematic masterpiece “When They See Us” (directed by the genius filmmaker Ava Duvernay) with Jharrel’s heartbreaking performance in the forefront of my mind.

Even though “When They See Us” premiered on May 31st, I had birthday plans so I decided to watch it the following evening in the  comfort of my home. There were 4 episodes that felt like mini movies and while each episode touched my heart, the 4th episode is the one that made me break down and sob hysterically. The 4th episode featured Jharrel Jerome’s performance as Korey Wise, one of the 5 men previously known as the Central Park 5 who were tried and convicted of a crime that they didn’t commit. Since Korey was 16 at the time, he was tried and convicted as an adult and served time in a maximum security prison. Because of this, his experiences differed from the the other boys and Jharrel’s gut wrenching portrayal of Korey touched my soul. I was blown away by his commitment to the character and the fact that he was able to give the viewers a glimpse into what Korey went through (his solitary scenes and the scenes with his mom are the highlights of the 4th episode) gave me a better understand of how unjust the criminal justice system really is especially for people of color.

I knew he would be nominated for an Emmy and I was pretty confident that he would win but sometimes award shows become popularity contests instead of focusing on pure talent. Fortunately, Jharrel won and received a standing ovation so I believe it was a mixture of both, I loved his speech because it showed his humility, shock and appreciation. Even though he was more than deserving, he did not expect to win and I feel that he brought back the excitement and joy that award shows have been missing. He is a perfect example of when you give your all for someone you believe in, your hard work will pay off.  I can’t wait to see what is next for him and I know that he is definitely on his way to an Oscar. He’s only 21 years old so I can see it happening for him in another 5-10 years for sure! Gotta shout out Ava and the rest of the cast because even though they didn’t win, they showed the world the ugly truth about racism and prejudice from the past that people of color still deal with today. Hopefully the Golden Globes get it right 🤞🏽

Check out Jharrel’s acceptance speech below and let me know what you thought of “When They See Us” and the bigger conversation we need to have as it relates to race. New post will be up on Wednesday.  Until then, I hope everyone has a great week and remember to love and live luxuriously!

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Wisdom Wednesday: Love vs Lust

Good Morning! I can’t take the credit for the topic of today’s post so thanks to my homie Jason for coming up with a great topic. Many people confuse love with lust and for a while, I was guilty of doing the same. Over time, after becoming more self-aware, (check out my previous post to read about that journey!) I was able to see things for what they really were and by taking my rose colored glasses off, it was easier to tell the difference between true love and lust based off of infatuation.

In my opinion, love is multifaceted. There are different kinds of love depending on the individual and the type of relationship that exists. As far as romantic love is concerned, it takes time to build the foundation for the deep connection that transforms the longer you are with someone.  I believe that love develops from that foundation and grows over time after being able to see people for who they really are and embrace all of those parts, regardless of their flaws.  If I am being completely honest with myself, I feel that most of my relationships didn’t have that strong foundation for love to grow. They were either based off of superficial qualities and once I was able to see the man I was involved with for who he really was, I was blinded by lust, not for the essence of the person I was with but for the image of the man that I created in my mind. I can say one of those relationships was love but because there was so  much pain and embarrassment involved with that particular person, I don’t remember the positive emotions that are associated with love such as awe and amazement but more so the negative ones like disappointment and frustration. I know that love isn’t all about rainbows and butterflies but I do believe the good should outweigh the bad and if it doesn’t, is it really love? I feel that everyone will have a different answer depending on their own personal experiences but for me, love should follow the principles that are outlined in 1 Corinthians 13:4-5:“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”  I feel that this verse embodies the qualities that I feel love should be based on and are necessary for a relationship to grow and last.  I am currently single but I promised myself that my next relationship will be with the love of my life and until God feels I’m ready for him to enter my life, I’m good with being alone:)

What emotions/feelings do you associated with love and lust? Let me know in the comments below! You can also connect with me on IG (@amoreluxe_) and on FB (Angela Cherai) to voice your opinion on this topic and if you have any ideas/suggestions for future posts, let me know! Until next time, remember to love and live luxuriously!

Motivation Monday: The Importance of Self-Awareness

Happy Monday everyone! I actually stopped working on an assignment for one of my client’s to write this post because I wanted to make sure that it was up first thing this morning! I have been doing a lot of self-reflection (as I hope has been seen in my previous posts) and what I realized is that I am slowly but surely getting my life to a point where I am happy, secure and fulfilled as it relates to my relationships both personal and professional, my mental and physical well-being and working on being financially secure. It is definitely a process but I wanted to share how self-awareness was the catalyst that reignited my passion and helped me move forward.

I realized that I have to be my own biggest fan (check out my  post to read more about that journey here) and focusing on being positive and motivating myself to live up to my potential meant that I had to remove toxic energy out of my life whether it came from my own self-doubts and insecurities or from any negative energy around me. My friends and family have been supportive of my goals and have always encouraged me to be the best version of myself and that’s why they are so dope! I haven’t been in a toxic relationship/situationship in over a year and while I am open to dating, I realized that I will never settle again. Looking back on how I allowed men to treat me in the past was a direct reflection of how little I valued myself and after the last situation ended, I promised myself that I would NEVER allow anyone in my life that doesn’t know my worth.  I am still working on the diet aspect so you won’t see any fitness/health posts until I get it together in that area but I’m reaching a point where I can’t just eat anything I want and not gain weight as seen in my post “Thick Girl Blues( Spanx Not Included)” so I am trying to be more conscious of what enters my body. As far as getting how self-awareness has benefitted me from a financial standpoint, I started thinking about  what skills I possess that will help me earn more income. In addition to the social media management, I started focusing more on obtaining clients for the writing composition services part of “Amore Luxe Media” and I have a few consistent clients that have been helpful to earning extra income. I also started working at the daycare again but only on the administrative side of the business and I get to make my own hours which I’ve realized has given me freedom and not let me feel restricted or trapped in a position that doesn’t suit my needs or help me reach  my goals. By having multiple streams of income, I am able to save more so I can create a nest egg that I can use towards getting my own place, a car or investing in my business which wasn’t possible when I was making excuses instead of moves.  I’ve realized that being self-aware is very important because for so long, I was feeling sorry for myself and where I was in life and wanted to make excuses and blame everyone but once I became self-aware, I was able to take responsibility for the choices I’ve made (or didn’t make) that made an impact on where I was in my life at that point.  I’m not where I want to be but I am a lot better than where I used to be and I am so proud of myself for getting this far!

What steps have you taken in order to be more self-aware? Sometimes it can be as simple as writing down your goals and what you need to change internally and externally in order to accomplish those goals. I’d love to read your thoughts so be sure to comment below or hit me up on social media at @amoreluxe_ on Instagram or @Angela Cherai on Facebook. New post coming Wednesday! I hope everyone has an amazing week and makes sure that they love and live luxuriously!

 

Toxic Relationship Types

Good Morning! I’ve realized that a lot of the inspiration behind many of my recent posts have come from something I’ve witnessed in person or online and today’s topic is no different. One of my FB friends shared a post that highlighted the 7 different types of toxic men in relationships. You have the good guy, the player, the inconsistent guy, the no initiative guy, the insecure guy, the emotionally draining guy and the Netflix and chill guy. I was laughing so hard to myself because I have definitely dated a few of these types of men which I will get into later but right after I shared the post on my page and saw some of the comments to it, they made one for 7 (actually 6) different types of toxic women including the curve queen, the heartless girl. the pick me, the user, the head over heels girl and the insecure girl. I’m not sure if it was because its more difficult to be objective when thinking about yourself or because I didn’t see myself as a “toxic” type but after rereading and being completely honest with myself, I saw that I was a mixture of two types and because of that, I may be part of the reason why I haven’t had success in past relationships.

As far as the types of toxic men I’m attracted to, I usually attract the inconsistent man because I’m pretty chill at the beginning and when the guy seems to show some interest, I start falling for him and it seems that at that exact moment that I catch feelings, he decides to fall back. It happened with the last guy I was seeing and it’s happened in the past with guys I was into. It has been so frustrating and I initially wondered what exactly was it that I was doing wrong and it took me a minute but I was able to figure out what my issue was. Somewhere in my subconscious, I am attracted to men that are afraid to comment. When I start having feelings for a man and he falls back a bit, instead of taking the hint and falling back after realizing that he wasn’t really as interested as I initially assumed or we weren’t on the same page as far as what we wanted from each other, I would see his nonchalant ways as a challenge of sorts and try to persuade him to want what I wanted. When that didn’t work, eventually I would fall back and then the guy would appear to show real interest once again and the vicious cycle continued. A lot of this stemmed from my own insecurities but also because of my pickiness which has led to toxic patterns and  behaviors that I exhibit in relationships that led me to the inconsistent men in my life.

I realized that I am a mix of the curve queen and the head over heels girl depending on who approaches me. If I am not really into a guy, I can be the curve queen because I’ll suggest meeting up but never actually put the effort into making plans lol. I also make excuses because I don’t want to hurt the person’s feelings even though I am not interested at all in talking or hanging out with them. On the other hand, when I am into someone, I am the head over heels girl because when I am into someone, I give them my all. I ignore red flags (as you can see from me being attached to the inconsistent guy lol) and I love the idea of love but haven’t always been patient enough or loved myself enough to not settle out of fear of failing and the fear of loneliness. After the last situation went sour, I decided that I have to be completely honest with myself, by myself and work on my mental, spiritual and physical (well I’m not quite there yet with the physical lol) in order to eliminate the toxic habits within myself that attract the toxic temporary men that may try to enter my life. They may have been able to come through before but now they will get denied at the first sign of flakiness and wishy washy behavior!

Which type(s) do you attract and which type(s) do you fall under? Let me know in the comments. I know its difficult to see your behaviors as toxic but you will learn a lot about yourself when you are completely honest with yourself. New post coming Friday. Until then, remember to love and live luxuriously!