Is Online Dating Worth The Hassle?


Hey lovelies! I told myself that I was going to be completely honest with you guys about what’s going on in my life this time around so I decided to share something that I was kind of embarrassed about. Then I said eff it and decided to share my dating struggles. I’ve talked about the issues with the last guy I was seeing back in March (here’s the link to that post! https://amoreluxe.com/2018/03/14/shattering-my-rose-colored-glasses/) and that situation is dead lol but I wanted to step back out into the dating world but had difficulty because I don’t meet different types of guys in my neighborhood. At my last job, I only dealt with kids, staff and parents (and I’ve never gotten involved with a parent lol) and don’t frequent the types of places where I can meet different types of men so my only option was to resort to online dating. I’ve tried online dating in the past and even started seeing a guy that I met online but things did not work out. (Check out this post for details on that situation! https://amoreluxe.com/2016/10/14/forgiveness/) I was very hesitant to try it again but my bff Krystal suggested I try it again to see if things would be different the second time around. She told me to have an open mind but to always go with my gut because ignoring it could lead to serious consequences. If something doesn’t seem right about a guy when talking to him, don’t ignore that feeling and end it if things are being said or done that makes you feel super uncomfortable or seems suspect. I am not anxious to jump in a relationship or commit to anything serious at this moment but if I meet someone and we click, I won’t reject it out of fear either. With all of that being said,I felt like I was ready to try again so I decided to reactivate my account for “OkCupid”. I also signed up for a dating app called “Coffee Meets Bagel” and a site I’ve never heard of called “Hinge”. Here’s my thoughts and ratings on the sites/apps:

 

OkCupid

I joined OkCupid back in 2014 and liked it alright but I am very selective with who I choose to talk to so I ended up talking to a few guys but only had a real connection with 2 of them. I am still friends with one of them to this day (you know who you are 😉) and I am so happy that him and I support each other in our endeavors. The other guy who I ended up meeting in person and attempted to build something exhibited narcissistic tendencies and shady behavior and the latter was the main reason our situation ended. Needless to say, he was the reason that I was hesitant about reactivating my account but I told myself that I am wiser and that finding someone would be the icing on the cake and not the cake itself. Since there is no pressure, I could go into this with an open mind and just have fun! I realized that I’m just as picky as I was before but not just when it comes to looks. Most of the men I find attractive on the site seem to lack conversation and besides a “Hey what’s up?” and “What are you doing?”, it’s like pulling teeth to get them to say anything even though their profiles seem to have substance to them. One guy even hit me up after midnight when we hadn’t talked all day and tried to steer the conversation into a sexual direction so I had to shut that down quick! I’m not going to delete the app just yet but I am wary about the men that send me messages on there. This app gets a 2 out of 5 stars for now but hopefully I’ll meet a man who will change my mind.

Coffee Meets Bagel

Coffee Meets Bagel is different from OkCupid as far as the type of guys that frequent the site. I’ve noticed that more professional types (businessmen, doctors, lawyers) frequent this site than on OkCupid. These men also seem to be looking for something serious in contrast to OkCupid where many of the guys are looking for hookups and casual types of situations. Coffee Meets Bagel doesn’t let you browse through a large number of guys unless you pay for additional points or beans as they are called on the app. I REFUSE to pay for dating services of any kind so I deal with the limitations of the free services. I have begun conversations with a coupled of the guys I matched with but so far, nothing has materialized. The conversations only stay open for a couple of weeks unless you reopen it for 30 days so I’m guessing they expect you to make connections quickly and connect outside the app which I have yet to do. I will give this app 3.5/5 stars because I see it’s potential and I feel that some good prospects are out there just waiting for me lol

Hinge


Now this is a site/app I’ve never heard of until my therapist suggested it to me. This app is different from OkCupid and Coffee Meets Bagel in its simplicity. You only have to answer 3 random questions and connect your account to Instagram to create a profile. Even though there’s only 3 questions on the profile, they are interesting and the answers I’ve read have given me a bit of insight into what the guy is like. Like Coffee Meets Bagel, the guys on this app seem to be looking for something serious and the guys I’ve had conversations with so far seem have intrigued me. Not to mention that I am more attracted to the guys on this app as a whole compared to the other two! I haven’t made a real connection yet but I just downloaded it last week so there’s no rush. I am giving this app 4/5 stars and if I meet someone and it leads to something, I’ll be the first to promote this app all over my social media 😂

 

 

Have you tried online dating? What have been your experiences? And for the fellas, have you had similar experiences with women on these apps? I wanna know ALL the tea 😛

Sound off in the comments section and be sure to like and share this post!

 

Stay tuned for a new post either on Friday or Monday depending on how my week goes lol…until then be sure to love and live luxuriously!

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Being Brutally Honest With Myself

I know it’s been a minute but I had a lot of things to get off my chest so forgive me if this post is a bit all over the place but I wanted it to be read in its purest and rawest form without trying to sound perfect or profound. I’ve been MIA for a lot of reasons mainly because I was feeling uninspired/unmotivated/depressed/down on my luck, etc. I wanted to present the best version of myself and I felt that until I could do that, I was going to stay away from blogging and mainly lurk on social media with the occasional snap or ig flick. As a result, I gained social media envy and just felt like my whole life was a complete failure compared to that of my former classmates, family, friends and influencers. I knew deep down inside that you can’t take everything on social media at face value and that people usually  present the best versions of themselves but I still allowed it to control the way I felt about my life and all the losses that had occurred.  At the end of last year, I started going to therapy after my grandmother died because I was feeling lost and unsettled. My life felt like it was in shambles and I had no control over it. I was at a job that I didn’t like and I felt like I was settling and being complacent. My therapist made me realize that I had to take a leap of faith to see change so I decided the first thing that I had to let go of was the comfort and security of my job.  I left my full-time job to follow my dreams of being an entrepreneur (social media marketing maven/blogger) but those old feelings of inadequacy came creeping back in. Though I was gung-ho at the beginning of the year and initial launch of “Amore Luxe Media”, the energy and steam wore off when I didn’t receive immediate results and the cycle of feeling uninspired and unmotivated started yet again. What made it worse was that I didn’t have a good excuse to not try harder. My closest friends were making moves, taking chances and pushing themselves past their comfort zones. They were living their lives unapologetically and even though sacrifices had to be made, they knew that the result would be worth it. If you watch the hit HBO show, Insecure, I felt like I was Issa and Issa is me. She was the one in the group of her friends that was at a job that didn’t fulfill her and was watching her life spin into chaos while the ones closest to her were living their best lives. I didn’t wanna be the “Issa” of the group so I had to have a brutally honest conversation with myself to figure out what to do to not suck in life lol

 

The “Insecure” scene that changed everything .I REFUSE to be the Issa in my group of friends 😂 😂😂

I came to the conclusion that I need to set out specific goals for myself, attack them ONE at a time and be consistent and persistent. I am the type of person who expects to see instant results instead of being patient and continuing to put the work in even when I may feel like wanting to give up or feel like I am heading towards failure. Between watching Oprah and Will Smith inspirational videos, I’ve learned that failure is inevitable but it is how you handle to  that makes you a true contender in life. I was running away from my challenges in fear of failure and not attempting to give it my all is worse than any feeling that failure brings. I know that it’s a journey and it’s going to have its bumps and battles but giving up can no longer be an option. Excuses no longer cut it and while perfection is ideal, it shouldn’t be the main focus of everything that I set out to do. In order to live, I have to learn and embrace whatever is coming my way. I am strong enough to fight the battles and smart enough to know that failure or rejection isn’t the end but just another challenge I have to overcome to get what it is that I dream of. I have so much that I want to accomplish and normally I would list it all but for now, I’m keeping a few things to myself and will share them with you all as I make them happen.

  “You don’t become what you want, you become what you believe.”

     ― Oprah Winfrey

 

“Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me danger is very real but fear is a choice.”

― Will Smith

 

For those who have supported me since “The Angielala Experience” days, I love you and I appreciate everything from the positive feedback, constructive critiques and every like/share/comment on social media. I am still in the process on what direction I want “Amore Luxe” to go in because I feel like it’s all over the place at the moment but I know that I still want confidence to be the focus and I hope that this post and all that follow it inspire and urge my readers to take chances to make the necessary changes in life.  I know it’s tough but you can do it and I believe in you just as much as you believe in me and going forth, I promise that I will make sure to provide content that will help you be the best you. Let me know what you think about this post by liking/commenting/sharing. Much love to you all and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

Shattering My Rose Colored Glasses

Good Morning! I am back with another post like I promised (go me!) and this topic came naturally to me. I started thinking about what “epiphany” moment has had the biggest impact on my life in 2018 so far and I realized it was when I finally got through my head that just because I see the potential in someone and want more from that person, that doesn’t mean that the potential will come to fruition.  When it comes to others thoughts and actions, I need to see them for who they are and not who I want or imagine them to be. In other words, I need to take off the rose-colored glasses that are blocking my vision and my grip on reality. Before I discuss my epiphany moment, let me give you guys some back story!

There was this guy I was seeing for a minute ( 4 years to be exact!) before I broke things off at the end of 2015. I’ve talked about him in earlier posts so I won’t get into all of that but we wanted different things and I didn’t wanna settle I ended it. I spent 4 years of my time with him in a “situationship” that he was content with but as I approached 30, I wanted more so I ended it and thought he would just disappear or stay cool from a distance.  That’s not what he wanted so he was persistent as far as keeping the lines of communication open with me for all of 2016.  Finally in the summer of 2017, I figured I would give him a chance on a trial basis (well trial basis in my mind!) since his persistence meant that he may be ready for the changes that I wanted to happen in our relationship.  I told myself that I would give him 2 months to show me that things would be different and even though I knew better, I still had hope well more like I was still wearing my rose-colored glasses and wanted to see something more than what was really there. 2 months passed and things started going back to the way they were and I WAS NOT having it! I cut it off as soon as I felt like we were slipping back into the same routine and we started this pattern of him lingering around again. Finally a few weeks ago when I last saw him, I tested him (again this test was never said aloud!) to see if there was a glimmer of hope (those rose-colored glasses had me creating delusions of grandeur lol) and asked him for a simple favor that he couldn’t do. Something that would show that I was a priority instead of an option and after all the persistence and waiting around, he still couldn’t match up to the potential that I foolishly insisted was there. It was then in that moment that my rose-colored glasses were shattered and even though he couldn’t see them break, the actions that followed (me politely walking him out) showed that this time, I could see him for who he really was and although he isn’t a terrible guy, he is definitely not the guy for me. I was no longer blinded by the “potential” or “hope” that hindered me from moving on completely and since that day, I’ve never looked back.

In that “epiphany”moment, I felt liberated and it didn’t take me crying my eyes out or going through a long drawn out conversation where I remix what I’ve said in the past to try to convince him that my feelings were valid. None of it mattered anymore because when I realized I wasn’t valued the way I should have been, everything else was irrelevant.  I didn’t discuss my issues with my friends because they weren’t wearing the glasses so their vision was crystal clear. You can’t fully see things from another person’s perspective with the rose-colored glasses on. The glasses give you a false sense of reality. This doesn’t just apply to relationships but for any situation when you make excuses or pretend that things aren’t as bad as they are. The truth is distorted, your vision is blocked and when this occurs, you become stagnant and passive when you should be moving forward and assert yourself especially when it comes to things in your life that you have control over. Shattering the glasses can take time but when you do, you will realize how much power you have over your own life and will be able to make better decisions in the future.  With the destruction of those rose-colored glasses led the creation of a new life for myself. One where not only am I a priority to someone else but most importantly, making myself a priority in my life.

One of the first things on my list of doing right by myself is to constantly promote Amore Luxe Media (see what I did there!) If you haven’t heard about my new social media company, scroll down to the previous post or click on the Amore Luxe Media tab at the top of the page to find out all about it. I hope you all make decisions that help you shatter the rose-colored glasses that may have blocked your true vision to your purpose! Please be sure to like/comment/share and look out for my next post coming Friday 🙂 Have a Happy Hump Day and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

Official Launch of Amore Luxe Media!!!


Good Morning! I am so excited because today is the day that I am officially launching my social media management company Amore Luxe Media. I’ve been talking about it for MONTHS now and I was just waiting for a few things to be completed behind the scenes mainly my brochure but everything is done and I am ready to go! For those of you who missed my Instagram live chat last week, let me fill you in on what Amore Luxe Media is all about!

Amore Luxe Media offers social media management services for platforms such as Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Services include posting visual media on selected accounts, monitoring activity and creating marketing goals based on activity. Amore Luxe Media also offers Blog/Website content management for platforms such as WordPress (my fave!), SquareSpace and Blogger among others. where content will be posted on a daily/weekly basis on the client’s blog/website as well as linking site content to associated social media accounts and monitoring the content as well. Even if you prefer not to use Amore Luxe Media services on a regular basis,  you have the option of purchasing a social media analysis where I will observe your social media account(s) and note what works and what does not and give suggestions based on my findings.  Amore Luxe Media also offers marketing services such as the creation of a marketing plan which addresses the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats as well as focusing on target market(s) and how to create a strategy based on these components.

Amore Luxe Media also offers writing composition services for essays, terms papers, thesis papers and Powerpoint presentations. Details about these services can be provided by emailing me at angelacherai@gmail.com. Fees are charged weekly with the exception of one time fees for the Social Media Analysis, Marketing Plan and essays/papers/presentations. I WILL NOT have the prices listed on the site or in the brochure but my pricing list as well as details on each service can be provided by emailing me at angelacherai@gmail.com. Please make sure that you specify the service(s) you are looking for so I can respond accordingly. If you would like a copy of the Amore Luxe Media Brochure, you can view/download by clicking on the link below:

Amore Luxe Media Brochure

Thanks to Janice for creating such an amazing brochure and thank you to everyone who has supported me since day 1! This is not the end of AmoreLuxe.com but a new beginning that will help me be the best version of myself by helping others with their personal and professional goals. Let me know what you think of the brochure and if you have any questions, email me or comment below:)

 

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!