Your Current Situation Is Not Your Final Destination

Good Morning lovelies! I realized that my last post was 2 weeks ago and that I was headed in that feeling sorry for myself mindset and I had to catch myself. I have been very frustrated with the way things are going in my life now and it seemed like all my efforts were in vain because I am not getting to where I feel that I should be. It feels like I am putting the work in but the rewards or fruits of my labor haven’t come to fruition (yet!) I always strive to be transparent about my life and still offer messages of optimism and positivity so I wanted to wait until I had something important to say before I made another post and the one phrase that kept coming to my mind is “My current situation is not my final destination”. I know that these moments in a person’s life are made to build and strengthen one’s character and that tough times don’t last and that tough people. Changing my perspective on my situation and understanding that my struggles are only temporary has helped me push the negative thoughts out of my head.

One thing I’ve come to realize is that it is crucial to be consistent and persistent as far as putting in the work to achieve my goals and my inconsistencies have cost me greatly. I can’t expect people to believe in me if it seems that I don’t believe in myself so regardless of what I am going through personally, putting my best face forward and focusing on what is to come is the key to success. Easier said than done but when you know better, you do better and most importantly, you stop making excuses! I have made enough excuses to fill up 100 notebooks and where have they gotten me? Absolutely nowhere! I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired so I plan on not only doing things differently but changing the way I view my life and the circumstances around it.

I will be posting “Amore Luxe Media” fall promo specials next week so stay tuned for that. We are nearing the 4th quarter of 2018 and I plan on making sure that I end the year off better than I started so I will accomplish the goals and bring my visions from my “Idea Book” to life. What are some things you would like to accomplish in the next 3 months? Let me know in the comments below 🙂 As always, remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

Advertisements

My List of “Non-Negotiables”

Good Morning! At this point in my life, I am the epitome of a “work in progress” and one of the things I’m working on is being more consistent. I am frustrated with myself for not posting as consistently as I would like but it is something I continue to work on by brainstorming and not being afraid to ask others for advice. With that being said, the topic of this post came from my therapist who suggested I share some of the things that I’ve discussed with her during our sessions. I have discussed my past relationship with her in great detail (and with you guys as well!) and focusing on the areas where I settled and compromised when it went against everything I wanted and stood for. She suggested that I create a list of “non-negotiables”, basically a list of things I am not willing to compromise on in a future partner. My list is kinda long lol so I won’t share every non-negotiable but here are the top 3 non-negotiables that apply to my dating life which I feel that many of you can relate to as well!

My future partner will not be involved in any social media drama (or any drama for that matter!)

In my previous post, I spoke about how social media can be harmful in a relationship in my last post and although I’ve never dealt with any drama personally, I’ve seen how it can ruin relationships from viewing other people’s drama on my feed. I told myself that I would never be involved with anyone that will let the perception of social media distort their reality and I wouldn’t go back and forth publicly with anyone on social media especially if it’s regarding my personal life. Anyone who thrives off of internet drama is someone who needs to stay as far away from me as possible because I am all about maintaining positive vibes in 2018 and beyond!

My future partner is open to a committed relationship that will lead to marriage

Now this was something that I knew I wanted but was afraid to admit because I didn’t want it to seem like I was being forceful or asking for too much but my therapist made me realize that wanting more out of a relationship and being upfront about it is the mature thing to do. I realized that by settling for behaviors like not making plans in advance, not meeting family or friends and not talking about the future did not demonstrate that I wanted a committed relationship and when I would mention these things in my last relationship, it was either brushed off or excuses were made which showed that he did not want the same things I did. I told myself that in my next relationship, I would be clear about what I wanted and if my needs could not be met, then there would be no need for us to go any further! Being honest with your partner is important but being honest with yourself should be your number one priority!

My future partner is willing to be completely honest, transparent and open

Now this one is the most important to me because I dealt with someone who was vague, indirect and secretive when it came to talking about himself. I understand that some people have trust issues and aren’t going to open up right away and that is fine but when you are involved with someone for a several years and you feel like you really don’t know the essence of who they are, then you have a problem. Knowing the basics is a given but if a real connection is to happen, I feel like certain truths have to be shared that may be uncomfortable to talk about or may leave you feeling vulnerable. If your partner is holding back things from you or you feel that you have to be “Inspector Gadget” to find out what’s going on with him/her, chances are they aren’t ready for that next level and you have to respond accordingly…in other words: MOVE ON!

The most important thing I’ve learned from creating my non-negotiables list is that the qualities, traits and behaviors I want from my future partner will be shown in time and when someone shows you who they are, you have to believe them and take their actions at face value. My non-negotiables list has helped me to be completely honest with myself and what I want and is a guideline for the things I should look for in my next relationship. Everyone’s list will be different but regardless of what is included, always stay true to yourself and what you want from your partner. Most importantly, you have to be able to also be able to possess those same qualities and traits that you are requiring from your partner. It is so easy to stay complacent in a relationship or situation that isn’t going anywhere but being firm on your standards and not settling will be much more rewarding in the end. Until then, I’m just focusing on “AmoreLuxe.com (Of course!) Amore Luxe Media, and improving my mental, physical and emotional well-being. I will continue to keep you updated 🙂

What are your non-negotiables? I’m curious especially since I can always add to my list! Feel free to share them in the comments section below. Until my next post, always remember to love and live luxuriously!

Is Social Media Helpful or Harmful When It Comes To Dating?

Good Morning! I know I said I was going to post on Monday but I have had the hardest time trying to think of things to write. Same ish different day basically but I was talking to my therapist about needing things to talk about and she suggested that I discuss how social media has affected dating in modern times. As a social media marketer, I know how important social media is as far as promoting businesses and services as well as staying connected to family and friends that you may not get to see often. As far as dating goes though, I never thought about the effect it may have on relationships especially since the last guy I was seeing didn’t have any social media pages (or so he says lol) so that was never an issue for me. I started thinking about the pros and cons of social media as it relates to dating and while social media has been beneficial in building friendships and professional relationships, I think it has done more harm than good on the dating front.  I’ve seen my fair share of drama on social media and sad to say, the majority of the drama was relationship related.

One of the reasons why I think social media has been a hinderance on dating is because you lose a lot of the excitement of getting to know someone without checking their Instagram or Facebook page to get a feel of who they are. I feel that social media isn’t a true reflection of a person but instead, a calculated and curated image of how he or she wants to be perceived. Perception doesn’t always equal reality so instead of trying to decipher what certain quotes mean or falling in lust over a heavily filtered image, step away from your computer or phone and allow yourself to get to know someone without any preconceived notions based on their profiles.

Another problem with dating while on social media is that many people use likes, comments and statuses as validation. If a guy/girl doesn’t change their relationship status publicly or post pics on social media of them being in a relationship, suddenly there’s an issue because the other person is looking for social media acceptance and/or approval. Your relationship isn’t “real” unless everyone knows about it. Facebook/Instagram/Twitter should not be the deciding factor on whether your love is real or feelings are mutual. Now I’m not saying that it’s okay for your significant other to intentionally not post pics or follow you because he/she doesn’t want anyone to know that they are involved but it should be a natural progression and based on the person’s comfort level. There are people who aren’t into posting their daily lives on social media because it is outside their comfort zone and that should be respected. Navigating the social media space can be tricky but how a relationship should be shared should be decided between two people not the world-wide web.

The biggest issue I have with social media and dating is the disconnect that comes when people become dependent on social media interactions instead of face to face connections. Personally, I don’t want Facebook messages or dms on Instagram to become a main form of communication when getting to know someone. If you are interested in me, show it by asking me for my number and talking to me on the phone so we can set up a real date. Liking my pics or commenting with heart emojis don’t mean as much as sending flowers and notes. It’s the thought and effort that counts and social media interactions require little thought and effort but actions speak volumes. Even if the connection may start online, the face to face interactions are what will build and strengthen the connection that will hopefully last beyond the confines of cyberspace.

I don’t know of any instances where relationships built off of social media input and suggestions have stood the test of time but I could be wrong. I just don’t think that creating a potential reality show or melodrama for your social media followers is the way to longevity in a relationship. There should be balance and everyone including myself( in my next relationship!) have to find that social media/real-life balance that works for them and their relationship. Have you had social media drama that came at the expense of your relationship? Let me know in the comments below (yup I’m nosy lol). I’ll be back on Friday with another dating related post so stay tuned! As always, remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

 

 

Life Updates: New Job Opportunities, Healthier Lifestyle and Focusing On Myself

Good Morning! I have been struggling with writer’s block once again but I told myself that I wouldn’t let it get to me like it always has in the past. I didn’t want to write a post where the focus is on having writer’s block lol so I decided to make this post a life update because as much as I discuss my life on here, I tend to avoid discussing my life on social media. Weird I know since my specialty is social media marketing but I don’t like sharing my life 24/7 especially since I don’t think that it’s that exciting but I do promote “Amore Luxe” and “Amore Luxe Media” more so it’s a start! I’m learning that I have to create the life that I want and stop waiting for opportunity to knock at my door. I also told myself that I wouldn’t settle and because of my commitment to myself, I have been slowly but surely seeing results in various areas of my life.

My goal is for “Amore Luxe Media” to be one of the biggest social media management companies out there. I am very passionate about how social media management can have a positive impact on building brand awareness and increasing sales for a business. I have been a freelance social media manager for a couple of businesses for years now but when I decided to take it seriously earlier this year, I wanted to make sure that I could offer great service and have a mutually beneficial relationship with my clients. I am always reading and trying to learn more about social media marketing and digital media and have received valuable advice from people I trust. I am acquiring new clients more regularly as well as promising job opportunities with other companies where I can assist and learn on the job. I feel that this is the path that will lead me to complete financial independence and lay a stronger foundation for “Amore Luxe Media” to stand on and thrive.

As far as my multiple attempts at a healthier lifestyle, I’ve tried and failed so much that I feel like I’ve wasted time and money without sticking to a diet and exercise routine to see results. The bad thing is that I know better! I know how to eat properly and what exercises need to be done to achieve the fitness goals I desire but when things get touch, I give in to temptation and unless I am committed to this lifestyle 100% mentally, the physical changes that I want to happen will not come to fruition. I am a very impulsive person who makes many decisions on a whim. Sometimes it’s helpful because I am not indecisive but as it relates to health and fitness, it’s been harmful because I haven’t been able to thoroughly plan and take things one step at a time instead of trying to dive in head first and overwhelming myself in the process. I’ve decided that I am going to implement little changes in my diet and exercise routine that will lead to bigger changes over time. One of the main things I want to do is to drink more water. Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t care for water and I know that our bodies are made of water and I should crave it and all of that but I just don’t care for it unless I am extremely hot and the water is extremely cold. I have to force myself to drink it and while adding things like lemons and strawberries helps, it still doesn’t make me want to drink it any more than I already do. I figured if I can drink at least three 20 ounce bottles a day on a regular basis, I can do anything! One goal at a time, one step at a time is the new mantra for my health and fitness journey. I will update you in future posts on my progress so wish me luck 🙂

I know I was gung-ho about online dating (read my post about that here) but now I’m starting to reconsider my decision. The recent news story about the online dating serial rapist/killer has added to my hesitance along with the fact that most of the guys I’ve found attractive are either looking for a “friends with benefits” situation or are just weird or lack conversation. I haven’t connected with anyone on any of the apps yet and I know that these things take time but I’m at a point now that I’d rather focus on what I can control and leave the rest in God’s hands. I’ve said “The Serenity Prayer” every night before bed and I want to stay true to its words. That means no stressing about my love life and choosing to direct that energy to becoming the best version of myself. I don’t think I’m going to delete the apps but I won’t actively search through profiles either. Whatever happens, happens and I’m perfectly fine with that!

What are your current goals and what steps are you taking to achieve them? Let me know in the comments section below. Working on ideas for my next post that will either be up on Wednesday or Thursday so stay tuned for that. Until then, remember to love and live luxuriously!