Shattering My Rose Colored Glasses

Good Morning! I am back with another post like I promised (go me!) and this topic came naturally to me. I started thinking about what “epiphany” moment has had the biggest impact on my life in 2018 so far and I realized it was when I finally got through my head that just because I see the potential in someone and want more from that person, that doesn’t mean that the potential will come to fruition.  When it comes to others thoughts and actions, I need to see them for who they are and not who I want or imagine them to be. In other words, I need to take off the rose-colored glasses that are blocking my vision and my grip on reality. Before I discuss my epiphany moment, let me give you guys some back story!

There was this guy I was seeing for a minute ( 4 years to be exact!) before I broke things off at the end of 2015. I’ve talked about him in earlier posts so I won’t get into all of that but we wanted different things and I didn’t wanna settle I ended it. I spent 4 years of my time with him in a “situationship” that he was content with but as I approached 30, I wanted more so I ended it and thought he would just disappear or stay cool from a distance.  That’s not what he wanted so he was persistent as far as keeping the lines of communication open with me for all of 2016.  Finally in the summer of 2017, I figured I would give him a chance on a trial basis (well trial basis in my mind!) since his persistence meant that he may be ready for the changes that I wanted to happen in our relationship.  I told myself that I would give him 2 months to show me that things would be different and even though I knew better, I still had hope well more like I was still wearing my rose-colored glasses and wanted to see something more than what was really there. 2 months passed and things started going back to the way they were and I WAS NOT having it! I cut it off as soon as I felt like we were slipping back into the same routine and we started this pattern of him lingering around again. Finally a few weeks ago when I last saw him, I tested him (again this test was never said aloud!) to see if there was a glimmer of hope (those rose-colored glasses had me creating delusions of grandeur lol) and asked him for a simple favor that he couldn’t do. Something that would show that I was a priority instead of an option and after all the persistence and waiting around, he still couldn’t match up to the potential that I foolishly insisted was there. It was then in that moment that my rose-colored glasses were shattered and even though he couldn’t see them break, the actions that followed (me politely walking him out) showed that this time, I could see him for who he really was and although he isn’t a terrible guy, he is definitely not the guy for me. I was no longer blinded by the “potential” or “hope” that hindered me from moving on completely and since that day, I’ve never looked back.

In that “epiphany”moment, I felt liberated and it didn’t take me crying my eyes out or going through a long drawn out conversation where I remix what I’ve said in the past to try to convince him that my feelings were valid. None of it mattered anymore because when I realized I wasn’t valued the way I should have been, everything else was irrelevant.  I didn’t discuss my issues with my friends because they weren’t wearing the glasses so their vision was crystal clear. You can’t fully see things from another person’s perspective with the rose-colored glasses on. The glasses give you a false sense of reality. This doesn’t just apply to relationships but for any situation when you make excuses or pretend that things aren’t as bad as they are. The truth is distorted, your vision is blocked and when this occurs, you become stagnant and passive when you should be moving forward and assert yourself especially when it comes to things in your life that you have control over. Shattering the glasses can take time but when you do, you will realize how much power you have over your own life and will be able to make better decisions in the future.  With the destruction of those rose-colored glasses led the creation of a new life for myself. One where not only am I a priority to someone else but most importantly, making myself a priority in my life.

One of the first things on my list of doing right by myself is to constantly promote Amore Luxe Media (see what I did there!) If you haven’t heard about my new social media company, scroll down to the previous post or click on the Amore Luxe Media tab at the top of the page to find out all about it. I hope you all make decisions that help you shatter the rose-colored glasses that may have blocked your true vision to your purpose! Please be sure to like/comment/share and look out for my next post coming Friday 🙂 Have a Happy Hump Day and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

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Eliminating Negative Energy

Good Morning! Still working on this consistent posting thing lol  but I do have something that I wanna talk about that has weighed on my mind for the past few days that I wanted to share with you guys. As I was scrolling through my Instagram feed, I stopped on a post by Cardi B of Love and Hip Hop fame (I think her posts are so entertaining so don’t judge me!) and she posted a pic of herself in a unique outfit and most of the comments were giving her praise posting things like:

girl you are working it!

beautiful!

heart emoji

big smiley emoji

kiss emoji

You get the picture!

Unfortunately, one person decided to write a comment that had nothing to do with the actual picture but choosing to comment instead on a rumor going around about her dumping a rapper she’s been seeing because he was going to charge her to be featured on a song of hers. Never mind that the rumor wasn’t true but it must have upset her so much that this was the ONLY comment that she replied to. Out of hundreds of positive comments/praise,  she chose to respond to the ONE person that brought negativity to her page and responded with anger saying something like:

“B-word” you don’t know what you’re talking about!

In that moment, I realized that many of us do the same thing on and offline and what starts out as being something positive and uplifting has turned into anger or resentment that weighs the soul down.

Instead of focusing on the “likes” or positive things happening in our lives, we choose to focus and respond to the negative; who doesn’t like us or why we don’t have this or that and dwelling on all the negative circumstances draws more negative energy our way.  You are what  you attract and instead of being concerned with that type of energy in the form of unnecessary criticism, harsh judgment or opinions that do not add to your life, focus on the people and things that make you happy and bring joy to  your day. Now I am not saying that there needs to be people who compliment you 24/7 to feed your ego or confidence but being around people who see the best in you and want the best for you is the easiest way to attract the things you want. If there are people in your life that focus more on the negative than the positive, you  may need to reevaluate these connections and find others that are like-minded and will help you in your journey to being the best version of  yourself. It is easier said than done but your peace of mind will thank you later for it;)

I’m working on being the best version of myself this summer by starting a 45 day fitness journey with a few of my friends, reading/listening to inspirational and motivational books/speeches, participating in a 90 day workshop with a group of inspiring and motivated women who also want to work on themselves and doing a bit of traveling for fun and celebration! Needless to say, I will have a lot to discuss in upcoming posts so make sure you always come back here to see what I am up to! Look forward to sharing my journey with you this summer and beyond!

Take care and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

 

Vulnerable

Good Morning! It’s been 4 months since my last post and there’s a really good reason for that…I just didn’t want to post for the sake of posting but actually post something when I was inspired. I have been vlogging a bit on Instagram and Snapchat but I wanted to wait until I knew exactly what I wanted to write about…this is more like a venting session so bear with me!

My biggest goal with this site has also been my biggest fear. I strive to be transparent and vulnerable with my readers/viewers but in doing that, I’ve opened up the door to be judged and criticized by others but most importantly, this process has made me overly critical of myself. I turned 31 last week and I never thought that my life would end up this way. I am working at a job which isn’t fulfilling my passion or purpose( or pockets for that matter lol), I am not in a committed relationship and wasted the majority of my 20’s in dead-end relationships, I am not where I want to be mentally, physically or spiritually and most of 2015 and part of 2016 was trying  to come to grips with the fact that life threw me a few curveballs and I didn’t handle them as swiftly as I think I should have and now I’m dealing with the consequences. I know that everyone has their turning point where they decide to make a change in their lives and I realize that I’ve had turning points for different facets of my life. At the end of 2015, I told myself that I wouldn’t have sex unless I was in a committed relationship and I’ve kept that promise no matter how tempting it may have been to fall back into my old ways of doing what was expected and being passive in a relationship. In 2016, I told myself that I would be more financially responsible and pay off my loans and bills. Now I am in 2017 and I am still unattached and still in debt and I wanted to get my life together before I started blogging again so I could be a good example of what being the best version of yourself gets you. It took me a minute to realize that being the best version of myself means that I have to be honest with myself and understand that no one is perfect. I know that to get to where I want to be in all aspects of my life, I have to put it all out there and show the ugliness and bare my soul sort to speak to find the beauty, love and happiness I desire.  Being uncomfortable means that I am allowing myself to accept that I need to change situations and circumstances in my life and gets me out of being in denial or accepting that this is the way that things will be. I have always stated that I am a work in progress but for the first time in a long time, I do not have an issue with putting myself out there when I stumble and fall because I know that in the end, I will have everything that I’ve been waiting for.

With all that being said, I am still trying to figure out the exact vision for “Amore Luxe”.  It started out as a love/sex/relationships website under a different name (If you have been here since “The Angielala Experience”, thank you for your support!) then when I renamed the site “Amore Luxe”, I decided switch my direction and discuss confidence related issues. At this point,  I don’t want to have any restrictions on the topics I talk about but I do want to discuss things that I am passionate about whether it be dating outside my race (which I have attempted in the past and am open to doing again!) or the latest Trey Songz album, (which has turned out to be one of my faves especially after seeing him perform the songs live!) I don’t want to be restricted because I strayed away from the main theme of the site was so as of now, “Amore Luxe will be about love, life and everything in between! I plan on revamping the site in the coming months so be patient with me cause I am an impulsive person by nature which isn’t always good because when I am adamant about things, I tend to rush. When you want to create something meaningful and lasting, these things take time so I wanna pace myself this go around but I promise you will love the result!  Any comments, suggestions or critiques are always welcome and if you don’t feel like sharing publicly in the comments section below, feel free to email me at angelacherai@amoreluxe.com 🙂 I even know what my next post will be about so stay tuned for that topic!

Thanks for reading all of that lol and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

 

 

 

Snow Day Revelations/Going on Hiatus

Hey everyone! It’s the first full week of February and I can’t believe that this is my first post of 2017. I didn’t plan on things being this way but the same old issues keep coming up mainly my lack of inspiration and motivation. I am off from work for the first time since Christmas break because of the snow and while I was having a lazy day in bed, I was finally inspired to write something! I told myself in 2017 there would be no more “woe is me” posts and I intend on keeping it that way but I also need to be honest with myself and my readers: I am not feeling the direction that I’ve taken with the site over the past couple of years, well more the execution of my ideas because it has brought me to the point where 6+ years into blogging/vlogging, I still feel like I haven’t really gotten into the swing of things and I’ve realized that is because I am still trying to figure out what I want for myself and for my life.

c83e4e9f3e567602e964d7d9d9c77ff7My behind the scenes team is always changing and the lack of consistency with that has hindered me greatly. I felt like if I didn’t have the team behind me that believed in me and my vision, maybe there was something wrong with what I was doing. What I failed to realize is that I was the foundation that everything else is built upon. If I didn’t believe in myself or my vision, it didn’t matter who was on my team, the vision would never come to life because of the shaky foundation that I erected.  When I came to the realization that my foundation wasn’t solid because of  the issues I was dealing with in my life up until that point, I knew that before I could build an empire or go after my dream of being the “Internet Oprah”, I had to work on becoming the best version of myself outside of the internet. I have a friend that is also a health/wellness coach that has helped me create the version of myself that I’ve always desired. I am working on having a healthier lifestyle (sooooo hard for someone who loves pasta and dairy foods!) but most importantly, I am learning that every day is a new day and instead of living in the past, I have to live in the present and plan for the future so I can get to where I want to be. Life is not a race and the only person I am competing with is the woman in the mirror so as long as I uplift myself and bring positive energy into everything I did, I will attract what it is that I want. Seems so simple right! It’s harder than any physical workout though because I have to change my way of thinking and way I view myself. I always say I am a work in progress and 2017 is when the world will see the fruits of all my hard work and labor so watch out!

With all that being said, I don’t know exactly when my next post will be. I am not giving up on the site but I am taking a hiatus so I can figure out what I want to do and how to execute it flawlessly. I plan on coming back after my mini vacation in March with updates on my progress and how I plan to switch things up with the “Amore Luxe” brand. Thank you for you love, patience and support and I will be back before you know it! 

 

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!