After receiving such great feedback on my last post, (click here if you haven’t read that post) I decided that transparency is my new thing. With that being said, I wanted to touch on something that I spoke about briefly in past posts but feel that this topic deserves its own post. I have been going to therapy on and off for 2 years and I feel that I have benefitted greatly from my sessions. It hasn’t always been easy and at one point I was hesitant to even admit that I needed help but I am at a point in my life where in order for me to become the best version of myself, I can’t be afraid of what others think or feel about the decisions I make that are in my best interest.
I started going to therapy 3 weeks after my grandmother passed away in 2017 and immediately questioned the decision. Even though I was depressed, I wasn’t suicidal or anything like that so why couldn’t I get out of the funk I was in? After many discussions with the therapist, it soon became clear to me that I was living in a state of constant fear and could not think about the future because I was too hung up on what happened in the past and how I was handling (or not handling) my emotions and how I responded to things out of my control. I always assumed that therapists were there to tell their patients what they should do but what I realized is that they are more like sounding boards where they listen to what you have to say and interject with questions that make you view the situation from different perspectives but they should never force any of their personal feelings on you. I’ve dealt with anxiety regarding my family, worries about relationships that have gone wrong and how I contributed to them and my fear of failure and feeling stuck and complacent in life instead of living it to the fullest. I’ve had 3 therapists and with the exception of the second therapist, I have felt that I was being heard and that my feelings were valid which means a lot when you feel isolated from others because of the issues that your are grappling with. It’s okay not to be okay but don’t give up on yourself.
I feel like therapy is medicine for my mind and soul. Talking to an objective source who doesn’t know me personally outside of what I choose to share is comforting and has been helpful in easing my anxiety because I am able to share the things that I am stressed or anxious about without worrying about anyone judging me. It is medicine for my soul because every time I leave therapy, I feel lighter as if a weight has been taken off of my shoulders. Even if I leave without knowing exactly how I am going to confront an issue that I may be dealing with, I know that I am capable of handling it and just about anything else that comes my way. I don’t see myself going to therapy forever but it is an essential part of my life at this point especially since I am in a transitional period and being able to completely let go for those 45 mins each Tuesday has helped me to stay focused on my goals for the week. I hope that the stigma that’s attached to therapy can be eliminated in time especially within the African American community. Getting help from a qualified outside source for any issues you may be dealing with should not be perceived as weakness but strength because you know that you can be better and do better in life with a little assistance along the way.
How do you feel about therapy? What are your experiences if you’ve been to therapy before? Let me know in the comments! Side note: Make sure you subscribe to my new podcast with my homie DJ called “Weekend Friendz”. Click here to listen and subscribe! New post coming Monday but until then, always be sure to love and live luxuriously!
Good Evening! It has been over 6 months since my last post and there is a very good reason for that: I really didn’t know what I wanted to do with “Amore Luxe” or if I even wanted to blog anymore. I feel like I have been pretty honest with you guys as it relates to what’s going on in my life and my feelings about everything but for the past couple of years, it just feels like I have gone through the motions and living life with no real passion or purpose. I still wanted to help others be the best versions of themselves by sharing my stories and experiences but because I wasn’t in a good place mentally, I was just going with the flow instead of finding new experiences that would help me feel more confident in myself and give me the passion and fulfillment that I craved. My full-time job as a Director of a daycare center wasn’t what I envisioned for myself and as a result, I felt like a failure. I wasn’t being an entrepreneur I feel that I am destined to be because I felt stuck in a 9-5 position where I wasn’t growing or evolving. This brought about negative thoughts and feeling and because I was miserable, I wasn’t able to be the best version of myself for the children. parents and staff that depended on me. I would come home emotionally drained and dread doing the same thing the following days ahead.I knew that there was more to life than what I was experiencing and an epiphany moment right before Thanksgiving was the catalyst that helped me restart my life in a different direction and led to me make a few life altering decisions.
I thought about where I was in life, where I wanted to be and what steps I would need to take to get there. I was at a job that I stumbled into instead of working hard to get to that position and while I was a diligent and reliable employee, that passion and purpose that I desperately needed wasn’t there and when I realized that, I knew I had to move on. I decided that December 22nd would be my last day because I didn’t want to start 2018 in the same space physically or mentally. After making that step, I knew I would have to figure out how to supplement unemployment with other sources of income. I manage social media platforms for businesses on the side and help college students with their essays/terms/thesis papers and plan on promoting these hustles more because it is something that is flexible and beneficial as it relates to what I want to do with my life. The last step was getting my mind right. I lost my paternal grandmother in October and her death added to the deaths of my other grandparents and father in the past few years was a breaking point emotionally. I just felt like I had no control over anything in life and didn’t know how to properly cope with the fear of that. I finally womaned up (lol) and decided to go to therapy. While I never judged anyone that chose to seek counseling, I always thought that I would have to be suicidal or at rock bottom in general to even consider talking to someone about my issues. I don’t have a problem sharing my issues with others but I always thought that in itself was therapy and I could fix things by just thinking positively and hoping for the best. When that failed time and time again, I felt like therapy was the only way out because I didn’t want things to get any worse than they already were before I got myself together. It turns out that therapy was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I am able to talk to an objective source about my life and my issues and receive feedback from someone who knows what they are talking about and does not judge based on someone’s current circumstances. My therapist helped me understand that a lot of my issues stem from things I never really dealt with in the past. I would talk about whatever was bothering me with someone and then that would be it. I would push it in the back of my mind and try not to think about it instead of tackling my emotions head on and being okay with things not being okay. I hate silence unless I am reading or doing work so sitting there for a minute or two and absorbing what had been said. It was a different approach to handling my issues and it has proven itself to helpful in all areas of my life.
Now that I’m in a better space mentally, I want to also work on the physical so I plan on joining a gym within the next couple of days. I feel like this is the perfect time to do so not only because of all the New Year’s promotions going on but I have the free time to commit to it and can also work on eating healthy to make sure that I will be in the best shape of my life! I’ll be honest with you guys, I am still unsure of exactly what direction I want to go with the site but it will still be confidence based but I’m in more of a vlogging than blogging space so expect more Snapchat/Instagram videos that will be reposted on here in addition to live chats and a podcast that I’m working on with a friend of mine 😉
2017 was a transition year for me and I am looking forward to the new beginnings that 2018 has in store for my life. Thank you so much for your support and always remember to love and live luxuriously!
I am sitting in my room at the moment debating on whether I want to go outside to deal with the slushy mess that I know I will meet due to the snowstorm that came through the Northeast and Midwest last night. I like looking at snow but I hate feeling trapped in because of it and feeling less productive as a result. I have so much going on inside my head and being off from work gives me the chance to over think things which has shown to do more harm than good. So what’s a girl to do when she’s snowed in?
I wanted to work on some of the goals that I am able to do while being inside (exercise, meditate) so I can feel like I’ve accomplished something. I also want to continue reading this book that is helping me tap into my inner artist called “The Artist’s Way” which has helped me become more honest with myself and has given me a clearer idea on how to go about expanding my creativity. This would help motivate me but then the other side of me just wants to listen to music and watch tv shows on the HuluPlus app on my iPad. I feel like this is a great way to relax which is good because I am able to clear my mind of all stressful ideas (this is what I keep telling myself anyway!)
Instead of looking at this situation as a roadblock that’s stopping me from being productive, I am going to take the snow as a sign to stop whatever I am doing and to just appreciate what is around me. So many of us are used to our everyday routines and fast pace that life offers but we often don’t press pause and just live in the moment. Whatever I decide to do while I am snowed in for the day. I am going to make sure that I enjoy every minute of it and I hope you do the same:)
Whenever I am feeling kinda blah or uninspired, I instantly perk up when I am able to engage in some retail therapy. Many people would consider me a “girly girl” and I think that shopping is one of the reasons why. I love buying, makeup, jeans, leggings(addicted to them sadly!) shoes/boots(don’t really wear sneakers anymore) and any accessories that I think would look good on me. I’m also becoming tech savvy as of late so I like finding out what the latest gadgets are and playing around with them while shopping and if i have the $$$ to get the latest “it” device, I do! There are so many places to shop but here are a few of my faves!
Sephora is my go to store for all things related to beauty. I love their makeup selection because they have all my fave brands like Urban Decay, Tarte and Smashbox (no MAC but I really only purchase their lipsticks so it’s no biggie) but they also have a lot of great skin care brands such as Clinique, Philosophy and Fresh. I love shopping at my local Sephora store but I also like the convenience and variety of products they offer online as well. At one point I ordered online so much that I racked up 500 Beauty Insider points and got a deluxe sample size gift! They also give you a gift during your birthday month such as a body wash or lipstick so the perks of shopping there are a plus! Check out the various holiday deals they have out now before it’s too late!
Victoria’s Secret (www.victoriassecret.com)
Now most people think of sexy lingerie when they think of Victoria’s Secret but I honestly go for their 7 for $26 cute and comfy underwear deals. Their bras can be a bit pricey (paid $55 for a few of them) but they last and give you the extra ‘boost” you may need to look your best. There are always sales going on especially around the holidays not only on their bras and panties but their body sets as well. I used to be in love with their best-selling fragrance “Love Spell” in high school but everyone started wearing it so the smell because a nuisance. Pure Seduction is my current fave so I hope that it doesn’t become annoying to me as well. Rack up on all the deals while they last!
As much as I love to shop, I can be frugal (a fancy word for cheap IMO) and I want the best items at the lowest price. Amazon usually has amazing deals on everything from clothing to electronics and many times offers items that you may not be able to find in stores. I bought a bluetooth headset that I wanted but couldn’t seem to find in any of my local stores and received free shipping on it! the only downside is if you order items for dirt cheap, they usually are being shipped from places like Hong Kong and China and may take a few weeks to arrive so be patient because saving a ton of money is worth it!
These are just a few of my fave places to shop but let me know what your list would look like in the comments section below. Happy Holidays!