Motivation Monday: Learning How To Be My Biggest Fan

Good Morning! I was inspired to write this post after the amazing night I had last night at a taping of the 2019 Black Girls Rock Awards. I was surrounded by beautiful black women of all shapes and sizes and was in the presence of Hollywood Royalty such as Regina King, Brandy, Monica, Issa Rae and THE Angela Bassett! I am so inspired by them and their stories and I started thinking to myself, as much as I am a fan of all of these women, in order for me to get to where I want to be in life, I have to see power and strength within myself before anyone else can believe in me and my dreams. In other words, I have to learn how to be my biggest fan.

Now anyone who knows me knows I know how to be a fan of someone who’s talent and drive I admire. In middle school and high school it was Usher (people still ask me if I am obsessed with Usher to this day!) and in my 20’s, it was Trey Songz (had the nickname Visa cause I was everywhere a Trey fan wanted to be lol) While I am still fans of both of these artists, I realized that I have to go as hard promoting myself and my talents just like I did for them early on in their careers. That means I gotta post consistently on social media about what I’m up to, don’t hesitate to talk about myself and what I do at networking events and in casual conversation and most importantly, carry myself like the shining star that I’m destined to be! Dimming my light in order for someone else to shine is no longer an option for me because I know what it feels like to not live up to your potential and to have people ask, “Where have you been?” or “What happened to the site/hosting/discussions?”  Even though people may not have said anything to me about what I was doing while I was in the midst of it all, they were still watching, observing and talking about the moves I was making to others (in a positive way for the most part!) so my hard work did not go unnoticed. The thing is that in order for me to be consistent and persistent in achieving my goals, I can’t do it for onlookers. As supportive as my family and friends are, I can’t do it for them either. I have to push myself to be the best version of myself in order to bring my vision to life and it starts with knowing who I am and what it is I truly want out of life and not letting anyone or anything get in the way of that.

Angela Bassett had many gems during her acceptance speech last night but one of the things she said that stuck with me was “You aren’t just enough, you are more than enough!” and I realized that being my biggest fan means knowing my worth and not accepting anything less than what I know I deserve. I can’t settle in any aspect of my life from my personal relationships to professional goals and everything in between. I have to let every success be a stepping stone to the next goal and see every misstep as a lesson and a blessing instead of failure. I have to stop allowing my perception of others dictate my reality because I do not always know what it took others to get to where they are in their lives because I am only seeing the final result and not the work, struggle and sacrifice it took to get there. I know that this is a process and that change does not come overnight but in time, I know I will get to a point where I will be 100% confident in everything that I do and anyone who doesn’t believe in me and my vision will be seen as unnecessary background noise that won’t be included in the soundtrack that is my life! I think that’s how Oprah lives her life and Oprah is life goals personified!

Since I plan on staying true to my word about SPAIF, (self- promo at its finest for those of you who don’t know!) make sure you check out the latest episode of the Weekend Friendz podcast that I host with my homie DJ by clicking the link to listen on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify. Let us know what you think in the comments! New post on Wednesday so stay tuned for that as well! Until then always make sure to love and live luxuriously!

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New Year’s Eve Reflections

Trey, vacays and learning how to truly live: 2017 in a nutshell!

Good Evening! It has been over 6 months since my last post and there is a very good reason for that: I really didn’t know what I wanted to do with “Amore Luxe” or if I even wanted to blog anymore. I feel like I have been pretty honest with you guys as it relates to what’s going on in my life and my feelings about everything but for the past couple of years, it just feels like I have gone through the motions and living life with no real passion or purpose. I still wanted to help others be the best versions of themselves by sharing my stories and experiences but because I wasn’t in a good place mentally, I was just going with the flow instead of finding new experiences that would help me feel more confident in myself and give me the passion and fulfillment that I craved.  My full-time job as a Director of a daycare center wasn’t what I envisioned for myself and as a result, I felt like a failure.  I wasn’t being an entrepreneur I feel that I am destined to be because I felt stuck in a 9-5 position where I wasn’t growing or evolving. This brought about negative thoughts and feeling and because I was miserable, I wasn’t able to be the best version of myself for the children. parents and staff that depended on me. I would come home emotionally drained and dread doing the same thing the following days ahead.I knew that there was more to life than what I was experiencing and an epiphany moment right before Thanksgiving was the catalyst that helped me restart my life in a different direction and  led to me make a few life altering decisions.

I thought about where I was in life, where I wanted to be and what steps I would need to take to get there. I was at a job that I stumbled into instead of working hard to get to that position and while I was a diligent and reliable employee, that passion and purpose that I desperately needed wasn’t there and when I realized that, I knew I had to move on.  I decided that December 22nd would be my last day because I didn’t want to start 2018 in the same space physically or mentally. After making that step, I knew I would have to figure out how to supplement unemployment with other sources of income. I manage social media platforms for businesses on the side and help college students with their essays/terms/thesis papers and plan on promoting these hustles more because it is something that is flexible and beneficial as it relates to what I want to do with my life. The last step was getting my mind right. I lost my paternal grandmother in October and her death added to the deaths of my other grandparents and father in the past few years was a breaking point emotionally. I just felt like I had no control over anything in life and didn’t know how to properly cope with the fear of that. I finally womaned up (lol) and decided to go to therapy. While I never judged anyone that chose to seek counseling, I always thought that I would have to be suicidal or at rock bottom in general to even consider talking to someone about my issues. I don’t have a problem sharing my issues with others but I always thought that in itself was therapy and I could fix things by just thinking positively and hoping for the best. When that failed time and time again, I felt like therapy was the only way out because I didn’t want things to get any worse than they already were before I got myself together. It turns out that therapy was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I am able to talk to an objective source about my life and my issues and receive feedback from someone who knows what they are talking about and does not judge based on someone’s current circumstances. My therapist helped me understand that a lot of my issues stem from things I never really dealt with in the past. I would talk about whatever was bothering me with someone and then that would be it. I would push it in the back of my mind and try not to think about it instead of tackling my emotions head on and being okay with things not being okay. I hate silence unless I am reading or doing work so sitting there for a minute or two and absorbing what had been said. It was a different approach to handling my issues and it has proven itself to helpful in all areas of my life.

Now that I’m in a better space mentally, I want to also work on the physical so I plan on joining a gym within the next couple of days. I feel like this is the perfect time to do so not only because of all the New Year’s promotions going on but I have the free time to commit to it and can also work on eating healthy to make sure that I will be in the best shape of my life! I’ll be honest with you guys, I am still unsure of exactly what direction I want to go with the site but it will still be confidence based but I’m in more of a vlogging than blogging space so expect more Snapchat/Instagram videos that will be reposted on here in addition to live chats and a podcast that I’m working on with a friend of mine 😉

2017 was a transition year for me and I am looking forward to the new beginnings that 2018 has in store for my life. Thank you so much for your support and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

 

Cake

lady_eating_cake

“They say you can’t have cake and eat it too, but ain’t that what you posed to do?’

Trey Songz-Cake

I have listened to “Cake” by Trey Songz for the past couple of weeks (very catchy song btw) and the line quoted above comes from the famous saying “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.” I always took that as meaning that you can’t have it all but isn’t that the point of life? We want it all and who is to tell us that we can’t have it all if we are deserving of it?  The thing is that what we want changes with time and experience. For example, I always wanted to be successful in the entertainment  business and I told myself that I would work behind the scenes to achieve my goal. Over time though, I wasn’t content with being in the background. I wanted to be wealthy and be seen because I wanted my voice to be heard. Some people may think that its asking for too much but I feel like if I really want something and put the work in, it is attainable. On top of all that, I want to give back and help others that are struggling  to find themselves and their place in this world. So many people sacrifice their dreams to make others happy or because they feel like they have to settle for mediocrity but I want to eat all my cake dammit! I do want to be famous and wealthy but I want my contribution to the lives of others to outweigh all of that. Difficult isn’t impossible and I have seen others before me have their cake (look at Oprah!) so I will continue to be motivated to push towards my goals.

Now having your cake and eating it too can come with a price. I don’t condone cheating in any form. The cheater wants it all from 2 or more people (maybe sex from one person, good conversation from another, money etc.)  and the one that is being cheated on may or may not be aware that the other person isn’t completely committed to them. I feel like in these cases, you have to make a choice. In Tyler Perry’s film “Why Did I Get Married”, it was called the 80/20 rule. So many people forget about the 80 percent that they already have while looking for the 20 percent that they want. When they finally have it, the reward isn’t as sweet as it was thought to be. In other words, that luscious red velvet cake that once looked so appealing in the window turned out to be stale when you actually got to have a taste of it!

The moral of this post: You can have your cake and eat it too but make sure you are aware of the consequences that can come with wanting it all!

 

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!

My Birthday Weekend!

Having a ball at my 28th birthday dinner!
Having a ball at my 28th birthday dinner!

Good Afternoon! I am so excited that AmoreLuxe.com is finally up and running and I wanted to launch it on my birthday because it signifies a new beginning for me. I had an epiphany minutes before midnight on my birthday after a disappointment and I told myself that I wouldn’t dwell on negative situations, attitudes and most importantly people! I always encourage women to be the best versions of themselves in all aspects of life but I wasn’t really taking my own advice…until now that is! I made a decision to make the right choices, no matter how hard they may be and be content knowing that it will all work itself out in the end. After my internal rant lol, I told myself that I would have fun and that is just what I did!

On Saturday, I headed into the city and went to my favorite hair stylist Regina Pearl (@hairgirlreginapearl on IG) and added bangs to my do’! I think it looks chic and its been a couple of years since I’ve rocked them so I wanted to switch things up!

Me with my girls at my birthday dinner
Me with my girls at my birthday dinner

After leaving the salon, I did a little shopping then headed back to get ready for my birthday dinner…I had an amazing night with a few of my favorite people as you can see from the pics! The next day, Regina, my girl Jou and myself decided to go to Hot 97’s annual Summer Jam concert. We headed out about 2pm and didn’t get back until early this morning (traffic was crazy!) but the concert was well worth it! My fave performances were Trey Songz,(still one of my faves!) Nicki Minaj (I liked when she performed her old material) and Jhene Aiko when she performed on the Summer Festival stage (would love to interview her for Amore Luxe!). I didn’t take pics of the show itself because I had to save my battery power on my phone but the experience itself  is one forever etched in my memory.

I am grateful for the love and support from my family, friends and supporters and I promise you that “AmoreLuxe.com” will be the go to place for all things related to the meaningful and materialistic sides of life. I feel that having a bit of both is what keeps a person balanced:) Stay tuned because we are only halfway through 2014 but I have so much still in store!

Love and live luxuriously!