New Year’s Eve Reflections

Trey, vacays and learning how to truly live: 2017 in a nutshell!

Good Evening! It has been over 6 months since my last post and there is a very good reason for that: I really didn’t know what I wanted to do with “Amore Luxe” or if I even wanted to blog anymore. I feel like I have been pretty honest with you guys as it relates to what’s going on in my life and my feelings about everything but for the past couple of years, it just feels like I have gone through the motions and living life with no real passion or purpose. I still wanted to help others be the best versions of themselves by sharing my stories and experiences but because I wasn’t in a good place mentally, I was just going with the flow instead of finding new experiences that would help me feel more confident in myself and give me the passion and fulfillment that I craved.  My full-time job as a Director of a daycare center wasn’t what I envisioned for myself and as a result, I felt like a failure.  I wasn’t being an entrepreneur I feel that I am destined to be because I felt stuck in a 9-5 position where I wasn’t growing or evolving. This brought about negative thoughts and feeling and because I was miserable, I wasn’t able to be the best version of myself for the children. parents and staff that depended on me. I would come home emotionally drained and dread doing the same thing the following days ahead.I knew that there was more to life than what I was experiencing and an epiphany moment right before Thanksgiving was the catalyst that helped me restart my life in a different direction and  led to me make a few life altering decisions.

I thought about where I was in life, where I wanted to be and what steps I would need to take to get there. I was at a job that I stumbled into instead of working hard to get to that position and while I was a diligent and reliable employee, that passion and purpose that I desperately needed wasn’t there and when I realized that, I knew I had to move on.  I decided that December 22nd would be my last day because I didn’t want to start 2018 in the same space physically or mentally. After making that step, I knew I would have to figure out how to supplement unemployment with other sources of income. I manage social media platforms for businesses on the side and help college students with their essays/terms/thesis papers and plan on promoting these hustles more because it is something that is flexible and beneficial as it relates to what I want to do with my life. The last step was getting my mind right. I lost my paternal grandmother in October and her death added to the deaths of my other grandparents and father in the past few years was a breaking point emotionally. I just felt like I had no control over anything in life and didn’t know how to properly cope with the fear of that. I finally womaned up (lol) and decided to go to therapy. While I never judged anyone that chose to seek counseling, I always thought that I would have to be suicidal or at rock bottom in general to even consider talking to someone about my issues. I don’t have a problem sharing my issues with others but I always thought that in itself was therapy and I could fix things by just thinking positively and hoping for the best. When that failed time and time again, I felt like therapy was the only way out because I didn’t want things to get any worse than they already were before I got myself together. It turns out that therapy was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I am able to talk to an objective source about my life and my issues and receive feedback from someone who knows what they are talking about and does not judge based on someone’s current circumstances. My therapist helped me understand that a lot of my issues stem from things I never really dealt with in the past. I would talk about whatever was bothering me with someone and then that would be it. I would push it in the back of my mind and try not to think about it instead of tackling my emotions head on and being okay with things not being okay. I hate silence unless I am reading or doing work so sitting there for a minute or two and absorbing what had been said. It was a different approach to handling my issues and it has proven itself to helpful in all areas of my life.

Now that I’m in a better space mentally, I want to also work on the physical so I plan on joining a gym within the next couple of days. I feel like this is the perfect time to do so not only because of all the New Year’s promotions going on but I have the free time to commit to it and can also work on eating healthy to make sure that I will be in the best shape of my life! I’ll be honest with you guys, I am still unsure of exactly what direction I want to go with the site but it will still be confidence based but I’m in more of a vlogging than blogging space so expect more Snapchat/Instagram videos that will be reposted on here in addition to live chats and a podcast that I’m working on with a friend of mine 😉

2017 was a transition year for me and I am looking forward to the new beginnings that 2018 has in store for my life. Thank you so much for your support and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

 

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Conquering My Fears

fearquoteI kept telling myself that I would talk about this fear of mine once I faced it head on but then I kept putting it off because I didn’t want to feel like a failure if I wasn’t able to overcome it. I have had a fear of driving ever since I could remember and combined with my fear of failure, I have been hesitant to take my road test again after failing it the first time 3 years ago. I don’t like the feeling I get when I can’t do something properly and although taking the written test wasn’t hard (had to take it 3 times over the last 6 years after letting my permit expire) when it came to facing the road test, I always pushed back the date because I never felt like I was ready. I tried figuring out why I was so afraid behind the wheel and I have come to the conclusion that although I am afraid of failure, my biggest issue is my fear of death. I am not worried about my demise but being responsible for someone else’s life is a very scary thing and even if I am the most careful driver, things can happen. I know that thinking this way is only holding me back but when I get behind the wheel, I can’t completely relax because of it. I start over thinking every little thing and simple tasks become complicated inside my jumbled mind. I have to get over this to get my license and most importantly. to gain control over my life and my destiny. Fear can be crippling mentally and physically and I don’t like the fact that I am the one that’s standing in my way. So what should I do?

 

At first I wasn’t sure of what the answer was but after getting to the root of my fears, I know to deal with my fear of driving and fear of failure I have to understand that even though I may have some control over my life, I can’t control outside factors and how others think and act. There is only but so much that I can control and I have believe in myself and God that everything will be alright. Letting go and having faith is one of the hardest things but to face your fears, you have to be ready to deal with the outcome, no matter what it is. Although my fear is of driving, this can apply to any fear or obstacle you may have. My road test is 2 weeks away and I promised myself that I would not cancel no matter what because I need to take it again and even if I do fail, I can always go back in 2 weeks and try again.  There is a quote by Thomas Edison that goes, “”I have not failed. I’ve just found 10000 ways that won’t work” and once you look at failure and life from that perspective, it changes everything. Wish me luck:)

 

Love and live luxuriously!

My Experience at the Sierra House

Good Morning! I have been so anxious to talk about the amazing experience I had on Friday night at the Sierra House in East Orange, NJ. The Sierra House is a transitional house for young women and their young children who are trying to figure out what the next step in their lives should be. They may be homeless because of financial struggles, family issues or a combination of many things and the Sierra House is there not only as a physical place for them to live in but the people who work there are able to connect them with the people who can give them the information, tools and resources needed to help them get back on track. After reading about this amazing place, I wanted to talk to these ladies and give them some inspiration because I felt that they could use some positive words of encouragement to brighten their day. Before I stepped up to speak, the women all shared a bit of their back story as well as where they were in their lives now and I was in awe. many of these women have been raped, molested and abused by family members and others close to them and still found something inside them that gave them the power to fight and overcome the darkness from their past. Most of these women had small children and they explained that their children were their motivation to want better in their lives. Needless to say, I was blown away and was hesitant to speak because even though I had been through many things in my life, I had never had to deal with that type of pain and betrayal from people I trusted. I then told myself to get over it because this wasn’t about me.I was here to connect with these women and to show them that having confidence in themselves is the foundation on which everything else stands.

 I shared personal stories with them from my childhood that affected the way I viewed myself as well as what I did to overcome these issues. The women were so receptive and sweet and asked me many questions about my site and my goals and it was in that moment where I realized that even though I came to talk to these women and encourage them, their attitude and positive outlook on life has opened my eyes and made me appreciate everything that made me who I am today. They touched my heart and I am so thankful that I was able to have this experience because I want to continue to learn and grow not only as a businesswoman but as a person.  I definitely plan on going back really soon and I want everyone who comes to “Amore Luxe” to know that even though I want to be successful and famous in the entertainment field, my number one goal is to connect with others and help each other by sharing our life experiences and my experience at the “Sierra House” showed that this goal is attainable and priceless.

I want to thank Keely Freeman who is the founder of Sierra House, Tanya Taylor who is a coordinator and social worker at Sierra House , Angela Daniels, my publicist who was the one who told me about this amazing place and finally, a HUGE thank you to all the ladies that shared their experiences with me and opened up their hearts to listen to me and hear my story. Words can’t describe how grateful I am to have been in your presence and I can’t wait to come back to talk to all of you again:)

To donate, volunteer or for general information about the Sierra House, make sure you check out www.sierrahouse.org

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Me with one of the cutest babies at the Sierra House

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Not sure what we were talking about but I know I was passionate about it because of my hands!

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Listening to one of the ladies talk about her experiences

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!