QOTD: What Constitutes As Lying?

Good Morning! I said in my previous post that today’s post would be based on a question that I posted on social media. For those of you who missed it, here is what I wrote:

QOTD: Should lying by omission be considered lying?

Ex: Your significant other asks who you’re hanging out with tonight. You say you are hanging out with your boys/girls but fail to mention that your ex will be there as well. Should you be at fault for not telling the whole truth?

The responses I received were interesting mainly because most women thought that lying by omission should be considered lying and many of the guys who replied felt that it shouldn’t be considered lying especially if information was withheld to avoid any future issues. Even though I can understand both arguments, I think that a lie by omission is still a lie because by withholding information, you allow the other person to create outcomes based off of the details you give. In the example I posted above, if you say that you are hanging out with your boys/girls but fail to mention that your ex will be at the same place and say that place is a bar, getting intoxicated around someone who you used to have a relationship with may create a situation that can lead to serious consequences. Many people would argue that just because someone is hanging around their ex doesn’t mean that they have feelings for them or that they want to get back into a relationship with them and while I wholeheartedly agree, if there is nothing to worry about. why hide the fact that the ex will be there in the first place? If the reason is to avoid drama in the form of accusations or jealousy, I feel that there are deeper issues in the relationship that need to be addressed. If you trust your partner completely, you should be secure in your relationship and most importantly, secure with yourself and what you bring to the table.

I feel that it all boils down to effective communication with your partner and respect for his/her feelings. If you know that hanging around your ex is going to be an issue, talk about what the specific issue is. If the issue stems from the ex causing issues in the past within your relationship, then maybe its best not to be around him/her even in a group setting. If the issue is mainly with your partner and their own insecurities, that is something that he/she needs to work on outside of the relationship especially if your actions have not warranted that type of behavior. I have dealt with men in the past that have omitted details from a situation and when I found out about them later, I was upset, not because of the actual detail being omitted but the fact that he deliberately failed to mention a detail because he wanted to avoid any type of confrontation or disagreement made me wary and suspicious of his behavior. Even if I would have felt some kind of way about the situation knowing all the details, I would have respected his honesty because honesty is very important to me in all of my relationships both personally and professionally. I can’t speak for everyone but I feel that if there is open communication and honesty within the relationship, omitting details would be unnecessary because trust would be established which would be stronger than any potential bs from outside sources.

Working on my first vlog/rant of 2019 for my next post and it’s gonna be a good one so stay tuned for that. In the meantime, I’d still love to read your feedback on this question so  make sure you let me know your thoughts in the comments below! Thanks to everyone for all of the positive feedback. I am really enjoying blogging for the first time in YEARS so know that I am just getting started! Until my next post, remember to love and live luxuriously!

Advertisements

This Moment 

 

Can we just stop
Focus on what we feel
Forget about time
Cause it ain’t real, no it ain’t real
We only got this moment
We only got this moment
We only got this moment
We only got this moment

This Moment- Janine and the Mixtape

I woke up this morning feeling anxious and tense. I had the craziest dream that unnerved me and then I was thinking about my grandmother who had a mini stroke last week and wanting to talk to her. I plan on visiting her in Florida after I take my driving test in December because I want to be able to help out more by running errands and things like that. On top of all of that, I’m waiting to start this new director gig at my current job and even though I was told that the position is mine, nothing feels set in stone. It is all overwhelming and I don’t want to break under pressure but I wasn’t sure on what to do until I did what I do when I need an escape: I decided to play some music.

I started listening to the EP of my favorite up and coming artists, Janine and The Mixtape (check out my interview with her in the Feature Artist section of the site) and her song “This Moment” came on.  In that moment, I realized that we all have issues that we have to deal with but sometimes it’s best to focus on this moment and be grateful for what we do have because tomorrow is not promised to anyone. It’s difficult to live in the moment when life comes at you with full force but I know that I need to just breathe and live in the moment when it gets to be too much or else I’ll go crazy. That’s not to say that I am going to abandon my problems or be in denial about them but instead, take things one day at a time and focus on the positive. I encourage all of you to do the same😀

Until next time,

Always remember to love and live luxuriously! 

The Power of “No”

  Good Afternoon everyone! I’ve been reflecting on the things that have happened in the past few weeks. As I stated in my previous post, I stopped seeing the guy that I had been dealing with for a VERY long time. It’s been difficult going out of my comfort zone because I become so used to settling but when you know better, you do better. One of the reasons I had a hard time letting go at first is because I hated saying the word “no”. I have always been a people pleaser and it trickled into every aspect of my life both personal and professional. The personal part was the worst because I thought I had to accommodate and sacrifice constantly for things to work. While I don’t have a problem with either, when the accommodation and sacrifice is one sided, it gets to be draining. More importantly, when I am this way even when I don’t want to be, I start to become resentful. I had an epiphany a week before I decided to make some changes. The core to most of my problems was because I did what I thought people expected of me instead of doing what I wanted. “No” was not in my vocabulary but I knew that I had to start using it to change my situation and feel liberated. Saying “no” sends out a message that I will no longer tolerate mediocrity in any form. Saying “no” means not settling for any less than what I deserve. Lastly, saying “no” means I’m reclaiming the power that was once given away so freely. You can’t please everyone but as long as I am secure and confident in the decisions I make, everyone else opinion is irrelevant.

I will be posting my first book review of 2015 tomorrow so stay tuned for that! Also make sure you check back to see when my we chat is…topic and date is TBA but it will definitely happen sometime in August:)
Always remember to love and live luxuriously!

Self(ie) Discovery Series

 
Good Morning! Over the past week, I was thinking about an activity I could do that would be creative, fun and most importantly, eye opening for myself as well as everyone involved. I was on Instagram looking for inspiration and what I found were selfies lol…. Celeb selfies (Rihanna and Nicki Minaj to name a few), selfies of folks with their kids, beautiful background location selfies and while I enjoyed looking at all of them, I couldn’t think of how taking selfies would help someone to become a more confident person. People usually take selfies when they are in a good mood so confidence is already there for them at that moment. But then I started thinking: What IF we took a pic of ourselves at various moments of the day whether whether we are smiling it not? They say a picture is worth a thousand words and are there to capture a moment in time whether it’s good or bad so why not take a pic of yourself and explain your current situation. The picture may conjure up negative emotions but those have to be handled for you to truly enjoy the amazing things in store. Faking a smile for Instagram may fool others but you have to be honest to the one person that truly matters: Yourself. 

This particular picture is one I took a few minutes ago while I was stuck in traffic on my way to work. I’ve been very vocal about my dislike for my morning job but this pic is how I feel on most days while I’m there. I fake a smile got the customers and enjoy talking to some of the associates but for the most part, I’m over it and I know a lot of it has to do with me not feeling like I’m not where I’m supposed to be. I know this is only a pit stop and not my final destination but I need to make moves FAST because I want more for myself and my life. 

My goal for the self(ie) discovery series is for everyone who participates to grow and learn from the moments they capture. At the end of the day, the experiences you go through make you who you are so focus on getting to where you want to be by being honest with yourself and making the proper adjustments. Can’t wait to see everyone’s selfies!
Always remember to love and live luxuriously!