Motivation Monday: Self-Worth Is Everything

Happy Monday Everyone! I was swamped with work last week so I wasn’t able to post but I definitely want to make up for it with today’s post. After a conversation I had over the weekend,  I realized the importance of self-worth in the face of adversity. You have to know your own value to be able to change the course of your life. It can be difficult to see your own self-worth when events in life make you feel like you have nothing to offer but I think that the clarity and focus you need  to get your life back on track often comes when you are at your lowest point in life.

When I was at a low point in my life in order to gain clarity, I had to reflect on that actions that occurred that brought me to that point. I realized that the very action that brought me down was my inaction. I became complacent and soon the complacency gave way to not bothering to even make an effort. Lack of motivation led to a decrease in my own self-worth. If I couldn’t bother to even try, what was the point of my existence? I wasn’t suicidal but at the same time, I wasn’t sure what my purpose was. Since it was difficult for me to figure out what I wanted for my life at that point, I decided to think back to a time where I was hopeful and optimistic about my life and what my goals were. At that time in my life, I wanted to motivate and inspire people. I also wanted to be an entrepreneur with my own business and I wanted to be financially stable so I could create the life I’ve always desired on my terms. After reflecting on my past goals, I did a reevaluation on those goals and realized that I still wanted those things. After that confirmation, I started thinking about all of the steps it would take to get to where I always wanted to be.

The first thing I decided to do is start working on myself so I could motivate and inspire people by using my life as an example of triumph over adversity. I got back into blogging, started a podcast with my friend and started changing my perspective on things so I could see the bright side or “best case scenario” (check out my previous post for more about that topic). As far as the entrepreneurial goals, I started doing more word of mouth promotion for Amore Luxe Media services as a result of online observation which has helped me gain consistent clientele.  I am currently on my way to financial stability because of my growing client list as well as working at the daycare doing administrative work both of which have helped me earn extra income. I’m not where I want to be but I am doing a lot better than I was this time last year and most importantly, by figuring out what I wanted from my life, I was able to rediscover my passion which gives me a positive sense of self-worth and purpose. Everyone’s journey is different but sometimes, you have to start back at square one to get to exactly where you need to be.

What does self-worth mean to you? Is it something measurable or does it go deeper than that? Let me know in the comments! I will be back on Wednesday with a new post but hit me up on IG (@amoreluxe_) or Facebook (Angela Cherai) with your thoughts and any topic suggestions. I hope everyone has an awesome week and until Wednesday, always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

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Shattering My Rose Colored Glasses

Good Morning! I am back with another post like I promised (go me!) and this topic came naturally to me. I started thinking about what “epiphany” moment has had the biggest impact on my life in 2018 so far and I realized it was when I finally got through my head that just because I see the potential in someone and want more from that person, that doesn’t mean that the potential will come to fruition.  When it comes to others thoughts and actions, I need to see them for who they are and not who I want or imagine them to be. In other words, I need to take off the rose-colored glasses that are blocking my vision and my grip on reality. Before I discuss my epiphany moment, let me give you guys some back story!

There was this guy I was seeing for a minute ( 4 years to be exact!) before I broke things off at the end of 2015. I’ve talked about him in earlier posts so I won’t get into all of that but we wanted different things and I didn’t wanna settle I ended it. I spent 4 years of my time with him in a “situationship” that he was content with but as I approached 30, I wanted more so I ended it and thought he would just disappear or stay cool from a distance.  That’s not what he wanted so he was persistent as far as keeping the lines of communication open with me for all of 2016.  Finally in the summer of 2017, I figured I would give him a chance on a trial basis (well trial basis in my mind!) since his persistence meant that he may be ready for the changes that I wanted to happen in our relationship.  I told myself that I would give him 2 months to show me that things would be different and even though I knew better, I still had hope well more like I was still wearing my rose-colored glasses and wanted to see something more than what was really there. 2 months passed and things started going back to the way they were and I WAS NOT having it! I cut it off as soon as I felt like we were slipping back into the same routine and we started this pattern of him lingering around again. Finally a few weeks ago when I last saw him, I tested him (again this test was never said aloud!) to see if there was a glimmer of hope (those rose-colored glasses had me creating delusions of grandeur lol) and asked him for a simple favor that he couldn’t do. Something that would show that I was a priority instead of an option and after all the persistence and waiting around, he still couldn’t match up to the potential that I foolishly insisted was there. It was then in that moment that my rose-colored glasses were shattered and even though he couldn’t see them break, the actions that followed (me politely walking him out) showed that this time, I could see him for who he really was and although he isn’t a terrible guy, he is definitely not the guy for me. I was no longer blinded by the “potential” or “hope” that hindered me from moving on completely and since that day, I’ve never looked back.

In that “epiphany”moment, I felt liberated and it didn’t take me crying my eyes out or going through a long drawn out conversation where I remix what I’ve said in the past to try to convince him that my feelings were valid. None of it mattered anymore because when I realized I wasn’t valued the way I should have been, everything else was irrelevant.  I didn’t discuss my issues with my friends because they weren’t wearing the glasses so their vision was crystal clear. You can’t fully see things from another person’s perspective with the rose-colored glasses on. The glasses give you a false sense of reality. This doesn’t just apply to relationships but for any situation when you make excuses or pretend that things aren’t as bad as they are. The truth is distorted, your vision is blocked and when this occurs, you become stagnant and passive when you should be moving forward and assert yourself especially when it comes to things in your life that you have control over. Shattering the glasses can take time but when you do, you will realize how much power you have over your own life and will be able to make better decisions in the future.  With the destruction of those rose-colored glasses led the creation of a new life for myself. One where not only am I a priority to someone else but most importantly, making myself a priority in my life.

One of the first things on my list of doing right by myself is to constantly promote Amore Luxe Media (see what I did there!) If you haven’t heard about my new social media company, scroll down to the previous post or click on the Amore Luxe Media tab at the top of the page to find out all about it. I hope you all make decisions that help you shatter the rose-colored glasses that may have blocked your true vision to your purpose! Please be sure to like/comment/share and look out for my next post coming Friday 🙂 Have a Happy Hump Day and always remember to love and live luxuriously!