The “B” word

 

thebwordGood Morning! I was trying to think of an interesting topic for today’s post and I started thinking about anything interesting that happened this week and one incident in particular came to mind. One of my guy friends from elementary school gave a back-handed compliment on an Instagram post of mine and when another friend said something about his comment, he called her a bitch or as I refer to it, the “B” word. A few women  I know use the “B” word as a term of endearment when greeting or referring to one another ( “Hey btch”, “That’s my btch”) but when it is used to insult someone like the way my guy friend used it, tempers flare and the “B” word takes on a different meaning. The same can be said for the “N” word. Depending on who is using the term and in what context, it can be a sign of love or mutual respect or the highest insult to the African-American race.

 

I have talked about my disdain for the “B” word in the past in a YouTube rant (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCk3Hx1GMqI) but I am going to break it down once again so everyone understands why I don’t like using the term in a positive way. When you look up the “B” word in the Merriam-Webster dictionary, it gives you these 3 definitions:
1: the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals
2  a : a lewd or immoral woman
    b : a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman —sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse
3: something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant

Now I don’t know about the rest of the female population but I’m not a dog, don’t consider myself a lewd or immoral woman, and I’m not malicious,spiteful overbearing unpleasant etc. ALL of the definitions of the “B” word describe negative traits in a woman and so many of us use the word so casually like it doesn’t mean anything. Words have power and I know there’s this “Bad B*tch” movement going on that is supposed to empower women and I am all about empowerment but there are other ways we can describe strong, independent and confident women without resorting to using the “B” word. I think we should start movements and used words that emphasize those positive qualities and not the one that is used for shock value.

I am guilty of using the “B” word occasionally but it’s always used as an insult out of anger and frustration. I feel that I was out of line in those moments and I attempt to use less explicit terms when I speak about or to someone who I am upset with but I do not use the term in a positive way. I have so many amazing women in my life from the ones in my family. my friends co-workers and people who I just associate with and to call them a “b” word is diminishing their worth as a woman and a human being. We are more than that and to the men that call the women in their lives the “B” word, let’s set a better examples for the younger generation and not feed in to the sexist stereotypes that the “B” word has created.

 

Okay I am done ranting for today lol…Let me know what you think about the “B” word in the comments section below and stay tuned for the “New Year, New Me” makeover recap coming soon!

 

Always remember to love and live luxuriously! 

 

 

 

Bring Me Down

“There always be haters that’s the way it is hater n*ggas marry hater b*tches and have hater kids”

Kanye West-Bring Me Down

This is one of my favorite songs by Kanye West. I could really relate to his music during this time in his career (his new stuff is a totally different story however!) and it was the perfect backdrop for the conversation I had the other night. I was having a talk with one of my girls on FB about women hating on other women. She has been doing well for herself but there were other women who were older than her in well respected positions spewing negativity behind her back. She couldn’t understand it because the women that are doing well for themselves and in better financial positions were the main sources of hate. We came to an agreement that misery loves company and that some aspect of their lives has to be in shambles and instead of dealing with those issues, they would rather tear someone else down to make themselves feel better. This type of immaturity is common in high school between females (Mean Girls, although exaggerated at parts is a good example) but once we graduate and enter the world of adulthood, one would think that the pettiness and drama from our high school days would be left behind. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. We see women gossip about other women all the time at the workplace amongst co-workers:

“Girl Tanya went on her paid vacation and came back looking like a supermodel. She must have gotten a facelift while she was there because there is NO way she could look that good by herself!”

Amongst friends:

“Jennifer, Have you noticed that Ashley keeps getting fatter by the day? She keeps saying its just weight gain from the baby but her daughter is 3 already! Makes no sense!”

and in the media headlines:

“Jessica Simpson’s horrendous weight gain places her Weight Watchers endorsement in jeopardy as well as her pending wedding”

My point is that we are around the negativity everyday. I have fed into it from time to time and became apart of the gossip and foolishness but as I started promoting the “Confidence Campaign” (Click on this post for more info (http://theangielalaexperience.com/2013/09/01/the-confidence-campaign/) I realized that whenever I became involved in negative behavior, it was because I was lacking in something in my own life and I thought bringing someone down to my level would help me feel better. It doesn’t and at the end of the day. why am I wasting time and energy on a situation that will not bring me any joy or happiness in the end? I can’t say that I won’t feed into the madness ever again but hopefully when I am in the middle of drama and negativity, I will catch myself and rise above it. Whenever I am a victim of someone else’s wrath of negative energy, I’ll remember that their actions do not reflect or speak on who I am as an entrepreneur/friend/lover/woman/individual but their current mental and spiritual space in their lives that they have to handle. The moral of this story: The only person that can bring me down is me:)

love.laugh.live.life

angielala

 

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