I am not my hair…at least that’s what I keep telling myself!

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On the left: how I normally wear my hair On the right: the curly, wavy, poofy madness I’m currently rocking!

Good Afternoon! I knew that I was going to talk about my love/hate relationship with my hair since Sunday when I decided to wear my hair in its natural state. I haven’t had a relaxer since 2011 but I always wear my hair straight because it’s how I’ve worn my hair since I could remember. Whether it was a “doobie” (roller set hair that is taken out then wrapped around the head and secured with bobby pins) or a “silk press” (hair is flat ironed straight to look like relaxed hair), I have always rocked a sleek and polished style. I’ve worn other types of styles such as curly weaves and braids but I’ve never dared to wear my real hair in its natural state. After trying to manage my hair this summer with the heat and humidity and creating more heat damage as a result, I told myself that I would attempt to wear my hair in its natural state. So this past Sunday I shampooed and conditioned, then put two strand twists in my hair (well had my boss do it for me lol) and let it set overnight and took the two strand twists out the next morning and rocked the curl/wave that it made. When I took my hair out, the only way I could describe it is poofy lol! I wasn’t used to the increase in the volume of my hair and the curls were al over the place. I wasn’t sure if it looked bad or not but I knew I wasn’t comfortable with the style itself. It felt weird not embracing my natural hair and it made me feel like I was brainwashed by society because I feel inadequate unless my hair is straight and appears to be more manageable. I wanted my curls to look bouncy and lush like all the YouTube naturalists that I watch on a regular basis but I was left with undefined waves, curls and poofy madness! My hair wasn’t what I envisioned it to be but I wanted to get over my discomfort and rock this look so I have been for the past 3 days and slowly but surely, I’m embracing it!

I know that for many women of color, managing hair in its natural state is a process in itself because we have to find products that work with our hair type and texture as well as stay within a certain budget (hair products can get expensive!!!) and find the time to do our hair because it can take all day depending on the style. I don’t know if this is a look I can rock ALL the time but I’m definitely going to try to do it more often especially in the summer cause straightening my hair every few days isn’t an option for me. I’ll keep you guys in the loop with my progress 😉

Make sure you tune in tonight at 8pm EST because I will be live on Facebook. The topic is “Eliminating Limitations” and I will be discussing the limitations I’ve tried to eliminate including the ones related to appearance! Hope to see you all in the chat! Also, like/comment/share so we can spread the love and positivity! See you back here on Friday:)

 

Always remember to love and live luxuriously!

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Fun Friday: My fave video of the moment!

f36c72b540a9677bd0c44b7e07a8b45bGood Afternoon! I’ve had a bit of writer’s block the past few days but I told myself that I would post as long as I felt that it would be inspiring and/or entertaining to my readers. I then remembered what day it was: Friday. It’s the end of a long work/school week and at my job as director/after school program supervisor, Friday becomes “Fun Friday”. It’s all about relaxing and having fun because the kids don’t do homework at the program on Fridays and are able to play with toys, do art projects or play games on their tablets instead. It’s a great way to end the week so I figured I could create a “Fun Friday” of my own on here! Every Friday, I’ll post something or someone who made me stop and smile/laugh in hopes that you will feel the same way!

This week, I was obsessed with watching a little 4-year-old boy dance on “Ellen”. He was dancing to a song called “Juju on That Beat” and while I was shaking my head at the title and lyrics (guess I’m showing my age!), I couldn’t stop smiling because not only could this little boy dance, but you could tell that he really enjoyed himself and would put on the same performance regardless of if anyone was watching. As adults, many of us worry about what others think of us so we are hesitant to say or do things that we feel will get a negative response from others. It’s hard to be true to yourself when you feel like you are always being analyzed and criticized but try to remember a time when you were young and didn’t really care about others opinions because you were happy and in your own little world. I’m not telling you to act like a child but capture the essence of the joy and carefree spirit that kids have and spread it around because it’s contagious. Check out the video below and be sure to share your own videos using the hashtag #funfriday so I can see what make you guys smile!

 

 

New post coming on Monday and I’ll be live on Facebook on Wednesday night at 8pm EST so stay tuned!

Have a great weekend and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

 

Insecure

Yup, that's me with the poofy hair and glasses lol
Yup, that’s me with the poofy hair and glasses :p

Hey everyone! Before I get into today’s topic, I just want to let everyone know that I will be live on Facebook a week from today on the 26th. The topic is “Eliminating Limitations” and I will be discussing how I am trying to eliminate all the limitations that have stood in my way. I want to hear your thoughts on the subject so hit me up and I will share them on air next Wednesday! Now back to today’s topic! I am OBSESSED with YouTube vlogger and now TV star Issa Rae and her new show “Insecure” If you haven’t seen it, here’s a summary of what the show is about:

Created by Issa Rae and Larry Wilmore, the comedy series Insecure explores the black female experience. Rae stars as Issa and Yvonne Orji stars as Molly. Over the course of the season, Issa attempts to figure out what she wants out of life and how to take control of it, while fumbling her way through this journey. Molly, a corporate attorney who appears to have everything together professionally, struggles inside as she looks for external ways to fix her life.

Meanwhile, Issa’s boyfriend, Lawrence (Jay Ellis), who has fallen victim to complacency, works to get his own act together. Frieda (Lisa Joyce), Issa’s overeager white co-worker, whose enthusiasm is both annoying and endearing, is at the crux of Issa’s racial frustrations at work. 

Issa Rae wrote the New York Times bestseller The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl, which was published in 2015. Her web content has garnered more than 25 million views and over 200,000 subscribers on YouTube. In addition to making the Forbes 30 Under 30 list twice and winning the 2012 Shorty Award for Best Web Show for her hit series Awkward Black Girl, she has worked on web content for Pharrell Williams, Tracey Edmonds and numerous others.

Insecure was created by Issa Rae and Larry Wilmore; executive produced by Issa Rae, Prentice Penny, Melina Matsoukas, Michael Rotenberg, Dave Becky and Jonathan Berry. (courtesy of hbo.com)

 

I watched the premiere episode last month on demand and I was instantly intrigued. It’s rare that I find characters that I can relate to on television especially ones that put their insecurities on display. As a teen in the late 90’s/early 2000’s, I grew up watching shows like Family Matters, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, 90210 and Boy Meets World among others. Even though there was teenage angst, the teens on these shows always solved their issues in one episode and looked flawless while doing so. If only real life were that easy! Their insecurities seemed so insignificant compared to mine and being young and naive, I thought that I was the only one that had issues with my looks and overall demeanor. Like Issa, I was an “awkward black girl”  but my awkwardness consisted of a skinny frame, glasses and braces. If I was cast on a tv show, I’d be the quintessential geek that always seemed to fade into the background. The geek on tv wasn’t the one that had the attention of the opposite sex so she usually just stayed to herself and buried herself in her books (or in my case my Usher VHS tapes and magazines). In my mind, no one could relate to what I was going through so especially since all the black girls on tv were beautiful and cool I kept my struggles to myself. Then a few years later when I was in my early 20’s, blogging and social media sites became mainstream and my life changed forever. Through blogging, I was able to share my stories and connect with others who had been through similar experiences. I could spread the word through sites such as Twitter and Facebook and I could even stream live and post videos on YouTube. This took the Internet to a whole new level and I had the opportunity to meet people who I would never come in contact with under normal circumstances and was able to express my thoughts and feelings as well as enjoy others forms of expressions. Now this is where Issa Rae comes in!

I was familiar with Issa’s YouTube series “The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl” but didn’t really pay attention until I heard about her semi-autobiographical series “Insecure” being picked up on HBO. I thought to myself “Who is this woman and how did she get a series deal with HBO?” I just had to investigate and find out more. Through my investigation, I found a woman who was perfectly imperfect. She was quirky and weird but it worked for her. I admired her honesty and transparency and although it was content created for YouTube and television, it was authentic and most importantly, I could relate to all of it. I too tend to talk to myself when I need to vent. I also feel like everyone is doing better in life than me and as far as relationships go, I’ve had bad luck with men just like Issa (that’s why I’m abstaining from all things related to the opposite sex for now lol) Finally, I found someone who gets it, who gets me and even though I can only see her through my laptop/phone/tv screen, I know she is speaking to me and other women like myself who embrace our quirks, awkwardness and even our insecurities and not let these things hold us back from feeling confident, beautiful and successful. Issa is a prime example of how being who you are and not fitting any particular mold is the right way to go in all aspects of life! One of my goals is to tell her all of this in person so stay tuned for that epic moment 😀 Dream big or not at all!

 

You can view the trailer for Issa’s new HBO series “Insecure” below  and check back on Friday for my next post! Much love to you all and always remember to love and live luxuriously!

 

 

 

I’m Back!: Life Updates, Facebook Live Chat and more!

Good Afternoon everyone! I know its been over 3 months since my last post but I’ve been working on a masterpiece that needs to take time and develop in order for greatness! I am not talking about a particular object or idea but I realized that for this site and everything else in my life to work, I have to be the best version of myself and I can honestly say that I haven’t been for much of this year. A lot of it was throwing pity parties and feeling sorry for myself because things weren’t working out the way that I expected them to and I just felt like I was trapped in this never-ending cycle of a bad situationship and that no one could truly understand or relate. As a result, I isolated myself from people most of the time. In addition to all of that, I was holding anger towards people who I felt wronged me and envious of those who I felt were doing better than me in life and I was letting all of this negative energy consume me. It got so bad that my anxiety started to build and I would have trouble sleeping at night worrying about everyone and everything except what was most important. At that point, I knew that I had to make a change. Talking about it while I was at the worst of it wouldn’t help because it wasn’t that I didn’t know what my issues were or why I had them. I needed to tune out the doubts that festered within and focus on my life and what I need to do to get to where I want to be instead of letting my past and all those involved deter me from achieving my goals. Life is not a race where only those who are ahead will find success but it is a journey that everyone has to take and travel in their own way at their own time.

If you would have asked me a few years ago where I saw my life once I turned 30, I would have told you that I would be a successful marketing/pr executive, my site would have thousands of monthly views AND I would be a YouTube star on the verge of hitting a million followers (dream big or not at all right!) but life is funny in that way because things don’t always turn out the way you expect them to. In the past, I’d throw yet another pity party and grumble to myself while lurking on social media and wishing I had the career and all the materialistic things to show for it. Now I know that feeling sorry for myself only keeps me stagnant and I will be successful even though I have altered my goals just a bit to align with the modified vision I have. I am not as focused on views or hits but more about creating content that resonates with women so we can create a dialogue and learn from each other. As far as becoming a marketing/pr exec, I would rather focus on being an entrepreneur and build the “Amore Luxe” brand by sharing my experiences through various online avenues (YouTube, Facebook, blog, etc.). The most important part in doing that is to not put so much stress on quantity but quality. If one person can leave “Amore Luxe” feeling more confident and inspired, then I will have done my job and fulfilled my purpose.

I know this is a longer post than usual but I have 3+ months worth of things to say! For those of you who aren’t following me on Facebook, (and if you aren’t, you can add me on here: http://www.facebook.com/angelacherai) I streamed live for the first time in a LONG time last Wednesday. The topic of the stream was “Work In Progress” and I will post it down below so you can view and let me know what you think! Thanks to my producer Lance for making sure everything went smoothly behind the scenes!

Okay if you have read up to this point, BLESS YOU! I just have one more update. I will be live on Facebook again on Wednesday October 26th at 8pm EST. The topic will be “Eliminating Limitations”. I have LOTS to say on this subject and I can’t wait to read everyone’s comments so definitely tune in! If you are not able to log on while I am live, the video will be on my Facebook page as well as on here so you won’t be out of the loop!

As I stated in my Facebook live stream, I am a work in progress and have a long way to go but I am happy that I am in a better place mentally and spiritually than I was at the beginning of 2016. Still working on the physical lol but I will get there…eventually! Thank you all so much for sticking with me through all the craziness and trust me, the best is yet to come!

Until next time,

always remember to love and live life luxuriously!